Everything’s Coming up Mulhouse – Part 4

Bonjour! Part 3 felt like a really important time for Mulhouse. This was a wonderful run of form that saw us move up to 7th, just six points from 3rd and an unlikely promotion. With 12 games to go, it’s possible rather than probable. Then again, we are the league’s top scorers. Let’s capture the dream.

Ligue 2 top March

It’s 10th placed Toulon who make the trip to the stadium of illness or whatever it is we call our home. Oddly, two of their three star players are goalkeepers and they play neither. They do however have Ait Alia, the angry young man I sold on account that I couldn’t control him.

He can’t control Natigol. FIVE WILL MAKE YOU GET DOWN. Larry David also scores. A statement of intent.

Toulon home

St Etienne lose and our win puts us within striking distance. Our goal difference has had a healthy improvement too. We sit 5th and by a twist of fate that even Jeff Hardy would be proud of, we’re off to 4th placed Lille now.

We give as good as we get but it’s a tale of two goalkeepers. Vareille equalises for 1-1 and Olivero makes it 2-2 only to be stopped by an offside flag. We go on to lose 3-1, but that doesn’t tell the full story.

Lille 3-1

For goodness sake.

Lille stats

A home game with 19th placed Milhouse’s Mam should be a great chance to get back to winning ways. Typically, these games have tripped us over and it looks likely to be the same here as Otokore gives the away side the lead. It’s a real struggle and although we get on top, we find the opposition keeper in great form. Olivero arrives from the bench to put an equaliser on a plate for Sritong-In. It looks like finishing in a draw as a series of late corners are cleared, but then…monocles and top hats everywhere. PENNYFATHER CLOSING IN!!!


Good day to you sir. Vareille out for two weeks and back to three points out of the promotion places.

I mentioned last week we had 7 home games left and only 5 away, so this is where the imbalance comes in hand. We’re at home to 13th placed Valence and that represents a chance to keep the pressure on. Olivero makes his first start since his injury in place of the stricken Vareille. It’s another day of one way traffic but why are we so goal shy all of a sudden? It looks like being a frustrating 0-0 draw but Milazzo is the unlikely hero – the right back heads in a corner 8 minutes fro time to keep us in the hunt.


We are actually within 3 points of 2nd now too. It’s getting rather tight. Away to 15th placed Caen could be worse but we’re a nervous wreck at the moment.

At 2-0 down inside 32 minutes, I’m fearing the worst. Natigol drags us back into it to restore parity but we’re 3-2 down with 12 minutes to go. Up steps Natigol again. It’s a point and in the circumstances, I’ll take it.

Caen 3-3

Seven games to go and we’re in the mix. I’d rather not be chasing but we didn’t expect to be in this position so let’s see how far we can go.

7 games to go

I always thought it was odd that Take That chose to sing about this particular club in 1995 but whatever Barlow wants. It’s a struggle as usual but an early goal settles the nerves and my hero and yours Natigol settles it.

Sochaux home

Need you so much, more and more each time we touch.

Up to 4th and off to 5th placed St Etienne. Crikey. It’s a familiar story though. Their keeper makes plenty of saves whilst our inanimate carbon rod lets everything in. A damaging defeat.

5-2 st etienne

We’re still only 2 points away as we host bottom of the table Gueugnon. A routine victory and Lord Pennyfather passes 20 assists for the season.

bottom Gueugnon

We’re 4th with just four games to go. Games are running out and I think we need to win an away match to have any chance of going up. Away to 18th placed Le Mans looks like an opportunity. They are fighting for survival though so we’ll need to be on it from the start.

We actually are as well but the hilariously named Maxime Poisson equalises and we’re later 3-1 down. Why man lads? We get it back to 3-2 but this is a poor result. Make your own 24 hour jokes.

Le Mans away

Three games to go and two are at home.

3 games to go

A home match with Amiens should be just the tonic. However, it isn’t. It’s actually a disaster of a day. We lose 2-1, Natigol departs on a stretcher and I think that’ll be that. Like I always say; small trousers give you big problems.

1-2 amiens.JPG

The defeat at Nice confirms we’ll be playing Ligue 2 football again next season. Less than 2,000 people turn up to see Pennyfather’s top hat snapped in two. End the season now.

Nice 3-2

Obviously a goalkeeper is my top priority this summer. Our form since Natigol arrived has been incredible so I don’t think goals are a problem.

We finish at home to Wasquehal, who did look like contenders to go up but are now nowhere near. Three goals would take us to 100 which is my only remaining aim of the season.


Curses. We finish 10 points off the pace but it was a lot closer than that in reality.

Ligue 2 Final

To be honest, we would have been destroyed if we had gone up. We conceded 86 goals at this level and I think PSG and Monaco would have got that between them against us. So we’ll build on this by buying some decent defenders (if anybody actually wants to sign) and then we’ll hopefully go up next season. Bordeaux were somehow relegated, so that’s going to be difficult.

I hope you’ve enjoyed season one, I’ll be back next Sunday with the summer dealings and the start of season two. Bye for now!



Leave a Reply