Good day! It’s the final update of season two so you know things are about to get serious. FC Mulhouse Sud – Alsace are having a good run despite their silly name. Promotion is on the cards and if we can just maintain our 7 point advantage over the next 15 weeks, we’ll be in Ligue 1 next season. Here’s the situation as we pick it up:

Despite this surge of positive news there’s just no pleasing some people. Olivero has bigger plans.

Obviously I decline. We’ve got a job to do. Also, the window is shut, so that’s silly. Away to non-league Niort in the French Cup and it’s worth pointing out they were only relegated last season and still have a full squad. The hilariously named Van Kets equalises for them and it takes extra time to get the job done. A win is a win, don’t try and tell me otherwise.

Back to the more familiar surroundings of the Sick Stadium where the front two pummel another team to death.

Valence always seem to pose us problems and even when we twice take the lead, we’re pegged back by Mangione.

If that caused me angers the aptly named opposition do little of the sort. A mundane 1-0 away win is just perfect.

Bordeaux are hilariously bad, having been relegated last season they are very close to doing the same again. We try and help them on their way with a 4-1 thrashing. Nathan Blake is proving quite useful as a first sub.

Back to French cup action and Nantes are fifth in Ligue 1 and boast a mighty team in comparison to ours. Still, we more than match them for 70 minutes before taking a shock lead. It is momentarily wiped out by Johan Micoud (who will go on to play for France) before Vareille seals the shock win for us.

That pits us against PSG in a frankly terrifying semi final.

We’ve still got to get those points to secure promotion even if it is looking more likely by the week. A tricky trip to St Etienne is going south when Maraval is sent off. We’d already had two goals chalked off by this point so with my blood boiling, it is soon all forgotten when Joe Pasquale puts through his own goal and sends us three points closer.

Really, Natigol? Really?? Declined.

Sochaux have fallen away so they visit us with very little to play for. They are brushed aside as the juggernaut moves on.

Things are going well at Perpignan when Olivero scores very early on. Andrew Duncan’s red card turns the game on it’s head and although Prunea saves the penalty, it’s a battering after that. Christopher Robin scores twice and some other jabroni settles it. Hopefully just a temporary blip.

Luckily we’re able to get straight back to winning way at home to Martigues. Vareille and Natigol are pretty much neck and neck for goals at the moment.

It’s a good way to warm up for a trip to Paris. Look at how good this side is…

They batter us but can only manage one goal. It’s a moral victory which sadly does not permit us to play in the final. But we’ve had a great time and really isn’t that all that matters?

A last gasp point at Leyton Orient is a relief but a glance at the table shows we’re nearly there.

16 points ahead with just 18 available, a win against Charleville will seal it.

There it is!

Woo and yay.

In some ways I regret going on the piss for a week afterwards. We’re a shambles against vowel hungry opposition.

A win over second place Nimes will seal the title though. I think that’s the best way to win a title. It’s a dull game but a healthy crowd sees us crowned champions of Ligue 2.

Next target is to try and get 100 goals. We have three games to do it.

We’ve got every chance when we smash four past Toulouse. Pennyfather is 36 now and I’m not overly sure he’ll cut it in Ligue 1 but he’s a hero to me.

If this is to be his swan song he’s going out in style. The opener against Caen sets up a 2-0 win.

Can we score four against the ludicrously named Saint-Denis/Saint-Luz? Vareille gets three of them whilst old man Glenn scores for the third consecutive game. Natigol scores the 100th and Blake rounds off the season.

As comprehensive a promotion as you are likely to see. Now the real work starts.

Natigol was exceptional. To be fair though, they all did pretty well. Except Kav, his contract is due to expire and it has been established he won’t make me feel good.

Although the two strikers tie for top scorer, Natigol had 12 more assists to his name to win this season’s top lad. Pennyfather’s involvement in 33 goals is remarkable for a 36 year old I hadn’t heard off 7 weeks ago.