Hello! Bonjour! Areeeeet. Welcome to the final update of season 6 here in Mulhouse, where this set of no hopers have grown to have some hope even if many of them don’t want to be here. We’ve got a multitude of quarter finals to come and we’re well placed to finally win the league. I would enjoy that.
If we’re on the up, Monaco are definitely on the slide. That’s where we head next, looking to avoid the distraction of the casino to take three points.
Their financial situation is ludicrously bad. Most of their best players have gone or are on their way out. We had a great time, the lads won by our favourite scoreline and that sets us up nicely for the UEFA quarter finals.
After beating Guingamp in round 4 we are prepared to face Auxerre, even if they are our nearest league challengers. Tveiten is sent off early on which kind of kills the game for us and we take a 0-0 draw. At least there are no away goals.
Rai kicks a man from Metz up the arse in the first five minutes and I’m fearing the worst when we go 1-0 down shortly after. Thankfully we’re pretty good even with 10 men and we win 3-1.
Nantes away is always tricky, Landreau lets nothing in. Del finally beats him and Zitelli is sent off in the aftermath. The onslaught arrives but Ceballos holds firm. A fantastic win.
The 2nd leg is in our favour, in a way, especially when Rai nets a penalty after just two minutes. Even when Auxerre equalise, we’re able to keep them at arms length and never really come under too much pressure. Into the semis we sneak.
Inter. That’s a tough draw.
Wicks puts his name on another victory as we inch closer to the title.
Straight back to European action though and we’re second best throughout. We hold firm for a while but the front two of Nevland and Ronaldo is right out of the CM9798 dreambook and we lose 2-0. Boo.
The French League Cup semi finals is yet another game to contend with and Auxerre gain a measure of revenge by knocking us out. Shambles.
We do however reach the French cup semis by smashing Bastia. Macauley Culkin and Nathan Blake with the goals.
Victory over Le Havre will secure us the league title. They are a nuisance though and lead – twice – before we are 3-2 ahead. The title is basically ours but then Novak equalises and there’s no title for us this week.
There’s no UEFA Cup either, Inter Milan complete a routine victory over us. Shame.
We get another chance to secure the title away at Lyon. Rai scores after a minute and the writing is on the wall from there. A five star performance and more importantly, the league title.
We’ve scored more than double second place. Ludicrous.
It’s PSG in the Cup semis and the unlikely figure of Noe Pamarot gives us the lead. Wicks scores the second before going off injured as the title party starts.
We are very hungover by the time we play Marseille. We don’t win.
Two days later it’s the cup final. On a Monday? It’s a bank holiday at least, usually reserved for watching the snooker. Thuram scores an OG and we lose 1-0 again. That’s a bad result and we could have won four. Instead, we’ve won one.
We’re terrible at Nimes. We’ve switched off. I don’t really care, in truth.
Auxerre look set to continue our poor end to the season but Trez pulls it together and a draw will do.
Pretty amusing stuff in Italy. Ravenna, last seasons Champions, are relegated…
…but win the Champions League. Wow.
2-0 down to Lens and I’m begging to go on holiday. Trotta and Natigol snatch a point.
We finish away at rivals Strasbourg. They have to make a guard of honour for us which amuses me a great deal. We lose 4-1 but really, who cares? Booty Oil scores, I wonder if he regrets leaving us?
Barthez signs for £40k. His contract was running down and he’s mint.
Oh yeah, the final table. Only 11 points in the end but we took our foot off the gas. We’ll be in the Champions League next season which is tremendous.
A look at some of our heroes. Natigol’s career is outstanding.
Del isn’t far behind. Obviously both still want to leave, as does Ceballos. And Macdonald. And Macauley.
Here’s some awardsm including Natigol and me. Happy days.
I fear the worst in the retirements. Rai? STAYS. Pennyfather?! STAYS. Regular left back Gautier retires though, which is less good.
Will I buy a left back? Well that depends if I continue or not. We’ve reached a good point in the year to turn this in, this has been a save that was quite tepidly received in the early weeks but has quite a core following now which I think is great. For those who stuck with it – thank you for your support. I’ve enjoyed my time in France and who knows, I might pick it up again in the new year. Until then though, it’s au revoir for now.