Welcome back to my latest favourite waste of time. The Retirement Academy are two seasons old, infants in the world of club football but somehow we’re a top Division Club in Holland. A ropey promotion was followed by a ropey survival, a very convoluted playoff system getting the assist on both occasions. But now, as season 3 dawns, it is time to try and establish ourselves. Although I have no doubt it will fall flat on it’s face, my recruitment strategy might help.
First things first, the stadium has been expanded for some reason
The regen finder has been fired up to help make the task of, er, finding regens all the easier. Here is Ian Rush
That adaptability of 1 may yet prove an issue.
Gary Pallister (aka Gary Pally)
Brian McClair, as point of note I will be calling this man Spoons.
It’s not just regens either. This man is JC De Jesus, which can only help his cause.
I also need old guys and who better than Mark Bowen, not to be confused with Mark Owen.
All of the back breaking labour will be carried out by a single Australian man
I saw this man and thought WOW Marlon King is in the game. Aggression 20? It must be him. However, it is not. It is a random regen who has the name Marlon King. He has some of the key stats I enjoy, such as off the ball, shooting and heading so we’ll give him a shot.
My squad is now full. Both in terms of talent but also in terms of the parameters of the game. Ho hum.
My plan, as mentioned in the introduction, is a seamless one. The Dutch Cup means playing 6 matches against average opposition to open the season and you better believe I’ll be blooding these youngsters before maybe shipping them off on loan.
I am worried that Betterton and Duncan are wanted. Goalkeepers are a massive issue for these circumstances I put myself through. Old, young, both hopeless. Our best bet is to keep Betterton around and hope he gets good.
Spoke too soon. There goes Duncy
Oddly, David Alain is also off
He’s a man in demand and we get slightly more when his home planet/country get involved
In touch with the ground
I’m on the hunt I’m after you
Smell like I sound, I’m lost in a crowd
And I’m hungry like…
That gag cost me £130k.
The squad is in reasonable shape as we prepare for the cup.
Here’s the 11 to take on Utrecht
De Jesus is one I couldn’t find space for, I might have to go shopping for some more old options up front.
Great start
Approach for Kox you say
And off he goes.
Ah yes I forgot we play a random league game. It’s at home to newly promoted Telstar, so in theory a game we should win. Obviously we go a goal down but after DJ Pied Pijper gets sent off, our task is made all the easier. Rush sans tache scores twice and we win easily.
I wanted another old option but even I’m not convinced by this.
Back to the Pints cup and King Marlon nets FOUR.
They won their first game 8-2, so I’m already looking forward to playing those guys. I think they might be blind.
Rush junior, who I’m still working on a nickname for, is doing very well against poor opposition. Worryingly in our two games against top level opponents have ended in defeat.
Starting to wonder who this guy actually is
Six of the best! I mean, ignore the fact we were 3-2 down at one point but we came good in the end. Duran Duran’s favourite also getting on the scoresheet.
Another one bites the dust. You might remember I loved Mikey Crossley because he has 20 for heading. He’s a central midfielder. I loaned him to Mansfield but all that seems to have done is alert clubs to his talent. Goodbye.
DWV are atrocious and after getting 9 at their place, the crowd are expectant. It takes 33 minutes for us to get one and we have to settle for 4. It’ll do.
Quick shout out to the worst team I have ever seen
We qualified, anyway
This guy looks good
As does Andrew Watt
Gronigen away in the cup in many, many months.
So, we’re still not very good. New lad scored though.
We won! That’s 2 from 2 at home.
Another away game though brings a defeat
It already seems apparent our home games will be important, so drawing 0-0 with Gronigen seems less than ideal.
More misery on the road, this time at Vitesse. We were doing ok for a bit but then Betterton gave away a penalty. That’s no goals in 3 games.
It’s time for an International break which seems like an opportune time to leave you for another week. Clearly, goals are still a problem. It turns out the young lads are brilliant at scoring against opposition that can barely see but they’ve been found wanting otherwise.
Hopefully we can stay clear of the relegation scrap and get these players developed further. Right now nobody is attracting interest from elsewhere so that’s helpful. All in all, I’m looking forward to next week already despite our frailties. See you then!