Good morning! Last week the Retirement Academy returned and the new season got off to a ropey at best start. We had the perfect record against comparative garbage in the Pints Cup but our league form was a fairly mixed bag. We’ve got a job on our hands if we’re to reach the heights of last season.

Our first game of the day is actually a home game with Aarau in the Cup Winners Cup. The Micker loves European games it seems and we run out 4-1 winners. Joller’s late consolation takes the shine off a positive evening.

I have moved to sort out the right back issue by signing a right back. Revolutionary, I know.

If there’s one way to ruin our mini recovery it’s a trip to Amsterdam. In every sense. We restrict them to one – annoyingly, a header from a corner – but we muster very little in the way of attacks and it’s a narrow loss.

Still, that’s the hardest game of the season out of the way. Rombouts leaves on loan so Robinson is recalled from Peterborough.

Pimmy fullback makes his debut and lasts 26 minutes. For goodness sake. Querella de ville lights up an atrocious contest with a long range winner. That boy is getting better and better.

We do surprisingly well at PSV usually and today is no exception. Gerald Sibon opens the scoring but that’s no big deal for the Micker, who rescues a point.

We’re 4-1 up so losing 1-0 in Switzerland doesn’t matter.

It’s such a small competition we’re already in the quarters. We’ll face Real Sociedad in March.

Back to the league and old man Degryse scores against his former club. Even with 10 men we still come up with the goods, somehow.

Feyenoord are newly promoted but they’ve carried their devastating form into this season and despite the Micker’s best efforts they score a late winner. They’re top of the table and well placed to dethrone Ajax for us.

Right, enough of 4-2-3-1. We’re borrowing this from Nikolai.

The results are immediately erotic. Take that, Vitesse.

It’s a stinker of a cup draw. I want to retain the Pints Cup and we play extremely well. The Micker looks sets to knock them out but a late equaliser sends it to extra time. We’re soon 2-1 down but Sirakov levels it up. Good old Uncle Bulgaria. It goes to pens and of course the Gazza regen misses and everybody else scores. Unfortunately Ajax are lethal from the spot.

We’re 2-0 up at Den Haag and things are looking good. Naturally it finishes 2-2.

The Gazza regen is off to Spurs. We know how that ends. This time he does go though and he’ll no doubt be off to Lazio in a few years.

The Micker is at the double! Fortuna favours the brave. (We’re the brave)

Back to back wins? A corner has been turned. Away at Groningen sees us come from 1-0 behind with two quickfire goals and then Quarter Pounder seals the win.

I hate Roda. I have no idea how we beat them in that cup final. They dominate every game we face them in, it’s just a sea of yellow and black text. Castillo is a constant pain in the arse and I’m quite pleased to get away with just 4.

The last game of the year sees us draw 0-0! Happy Christmas. See you in a month.

During the winter break we move to bring in Onopko, hopefully he’s still got it.

Our first game back sees us claim a reasonable draw with Utrecht. They’re above us so it’ll do.

That’s followed up by a 1-0 win over MVV thanks to Degryse. Rowdy Roddy Peeper departs with an early injury to his sweet can.

Last game of the day sees us visit Sparta. The most unhappy place on earth. We draw 0-0 which is about as good as it gets.

All of that leaves us 9th. It’s not great. Our form has been decent since the formation change, a strong second half to the season could see us rival the top 5. Look at Ajax though! 10 points off the pace.

Some decent performances mixed in with some hopeless ones. The Micker has 20 for the season and there’s plenty of time to go. His best ever is 24 in season one.

That’s all for today though. I’d really like to win the Cup Winners Cup, which might be a pipe dream but we need to be in Europe next season or I’ll be sad. We really need a goalscorer to help him, ideally somebody who isn’t 42. Pounder has 10, so he could be the answer. See you next week.