The Retirement Academy – Part 29: Exchange Rate

Good morning! Or afternoon. Evening? Wherever you are reading this, there should be a wave of positivity about you if you’ve been reading the Retirement Academy over the past 28 episodes. Granted, probably not 27 of them but the new motto that THIS IS OUR YEAR has not yet come back to bite us. We’re 5th after 6 games, it’s a reason for us to celebrate.

This is one for the rule book. Sparta are offering me a player for Janssen.

He’s under 23 and I’m not paying for him so I guess…it counts? He’s very good. I have him shortlisted because he is presumably the regen of somebody decent but I can’t recall who – can you?

I’m not easy about selling him to Sparta, who I hate, but I think I’m actually weakening them by taking Ooijer off them. Also his name is funny to say in the style of the Kool aid thing.

Good lad Rog. OOOH YEAH

A word on Janssen though who joined us in the second season and was excellent in his fifth season with us in particular.

Ooijer had only just gone to Sparta so they must really want Janssen to give him away already.

Anyway, questionable transfers aside, back to league action and we host Fortuna Sittard. They’re not very good and we have Mick Quinn, so…

Veendam away isn’t normally a reason to celebrate but Rombouts scores after just four minutes. The lead lasts all of a minute but it’s just a precursor to greater things. The Micker restores our lead before the keeper is sent off and Rombo slots the pen. He completes his hat-trick in a second half that was as peaceful as we have had.

Off to Denmark where that man Micker scores the only goal as we take a slender lead back to Holland.

We look well on our way to beating pesky Vitesse but with a 3-1 lead the efforts of Denmark seem to catch up with us and we can’t hold on. Any dropped points could be vital.

Our confidence is rebuilt with an excellent win at AZ. It’s nice to be able to win away all of a sudden.

An ultimate test of that theory is Roda away. They’ve battered us to death on nearly all occasions we’ve met but today is different. The Micker nets twice and you know what? It might be our year.

It’s not easy at home to Vejle and Bento’s own goal is a problem. We’re going to extra time until two minutes from time when Querella deville sends this particular dog into the quarter finals.

Wow, I didn’t see this coming.

We get their conquerors in the last 8, which I think could be worse despite their recent heroics.

We’re full of confidence for the visit of PSV and despite us winning this fixture when we’re at our worst, throw some swagger into the mix and we lose 3-0. Right.

Away from home though we seem to be a much better animal. To dust off an old joke, VVV aren’t VVV good and we win 4-1.

Surely we can beat Sparta in this form? No. 0-0.

The Pints Cup draw sees us play Helmond who are frankly useless and a vastly rotated team wins easily.

Wow it’s the type of draw we never get. A non-league side away is surely a path to the last 8.

Willem II but we’ve got 4. I’ll work on that. It’s another handsome away win though, our front 2 are really firing on all cylinders at last.

At last we can repay the home faithful with a handsome win. It wasn’t looking great at half time but one of our special half time cuddles revitalises the team and Rombo in particular. Another hat-trick for the great yet very young man.

It’s two more for him at Twente. Don’t say it…

Christmas is coming and with it a short break but we’ve still got our annual defeat at Heerenveen to look forward to – except, we’re good now. We win 3-0. Prepare the celebration ham.

All I want for Christmas is Philip Cocu. I think Nikolai said he had 1 for anchor so that’ll be fine.

Another Rombo hat-trick. The boy is insane. We just about see off Utrecht.

Den Haag away couldn’t get off to a better start but it goes massively down hill there after. Both keepers exchange own goals before a late penalty looks to have condemned us to a defeat. Turn up the heat because Marc Degryse is coming in with a hot equaliser…much needed.

That was boxing day but there’s two weeks break before we play the first leg of the Super Cup. Rombouts is at it again but we end up losing 2-1. I don’t really care, we won this last year and you get nothing for it.

Feyenoord will however see it is as getting one up on us as they are in the unlikely position of chasing us. Ajax are loitering with intent too, they won’t go quietly.

The front two have 44 goals between them. Rombo’s on 1 in 1 strike rate.

The Micker has 2 in 3 but 13 assists too. What have we built here?!

Let’s not be mistaken, the squad is still desperately unhappy. Rombouts, Watt, Bellamy, Chivers and Betterton aren’t keen to stay. Querella seems to have calmed himself down at least.

What that means is that next week we have the chance to qualify for the Champions League. Ideally it will be by winning the league but just getting in will be progress. We are 14 games from winning the league though and then we can all look forward to the Micker playing in the Champions League. I wonder if his regen will be any good…

See you next week – it’s our year…

Leave a Reply