The Retirement Academy – Part 37: Micker’s Christmas Presents

Good morning! With Barnsley all set to be our long term save for 2022, we’re just visiting a familiar place for two weeks…

We left the Retirement Academy a few weeks ago having conquered the world. Every trophy was banked and Ajax were finally overthrown. It took 12 seasons but we did it, all by keeping to the rules bestowed on the club by Ike Mashley: 5 young and 5 old on the pitch at all times (outfield, he’s not a total savage) and no paying for youngsters. It wasn’t easy but we did it, and the Micker was there through the whole thing.

Whilst most players spent their money on houses and flash cars, the Micker scurried his money away for a rainy day. As the win bonuses and prize money kept coming, Micker’s bank account kept growing and now, he’s had an idea. Ike’s achieved his dream and got bored, the Micker’s put his winnings on a horse and the time has come – The Micker has bought out the Retirement Academy.

His first act is to get rid of the rules. The Micker realises that if his career is going to be prolonged, he needs the best around him and probably not a 38 year old Finidi George. The challenge is afoot – there’s £30m in the bank, go and improve the squad with some superstars!

The first act is going to be to have to make some space in the squad. Nobody is going to want the old lads but the young, up and comers are of no use in this reign of terror. The likes of Grieves, Chivers and Aurelio might not last.

There goes Grievesy

I like the look of this guy even if his form is non-existant.

Imbruglia is also away, never quite became the new Gary Pallister.

I think this is Chamot? Who knows. Welcome aboard.

Captain Marc Overmars is the next to go. He’ll have a great time in Belgium.

Frank De Boer junior is the next to go. I don’t play full backs so it was inevitable.

Always sign Riquelme. The Micker can’t wait to sign the cheque.

A reasonable sub keeper too, weakening our biggest rival in the process.

We’ve got Ajax in the Dutch Charity Shield and this is how we lineup – Watt is injured but otherwise we are full strength.

It’s quite appropriate that our new player/owner gets the first goal of the Mickera. He also wraps it up late on. The Charity Shield is ours!

That’s not a good Champions League group draw. Juventus and Bayern. We always play Bayern.

Funnily enough our league season starts with Ajax. The Ham squad are at it again but if you want a man who knows a thing or two about ham, the Micker wins it. A big win.

Gazza junior is back! The Micker makes the call to bring him home.

PSV away as game two? What a tricky start to the season. It turns out to be an easy away win. Yesssss!

The Champions League campaign is underway with a modest draw. We’ll have to go to Munich later on which means we’re going to be up against it.

A relatively routine home win over Groningen and an impressive away win at Vitesse continue the good start to the Mickera…

However a mad 9 minutes against Roda brings us back down to earth. Some things never change

The game in Turin is huge. Albesa is at the double to kickstart our Champions League campaign.

I’m not going to do every game but you’ll not be left wondering. Boavista are brushed aside.

As are Willem II even if it does cost us Ruudy junior. Possibly the most needless red card ever received at 4-1 up.

AZ have always been there or thereabouts and our trip there turns into a classic. We go 1-0 up but with Ruudy junior off the pitch we find ourselves 4-1 down. Two late Hoogy goals gives us a chance but we can’t find a leveller.

We’ve not lost many, as you can see. We’re in the title race even at this stage.

Defeat in Munich. This is going to be a problem.

The anger is released from our system at the expense of MVV. It’s not often we get 6 but then again we are no longer handicapped by having 5 old chaps on the team.

Hoogy picks up a big injury. This will be a problem.

Especially with a must win game against Juventus. We lack our cutting edge with Hoogy injured and Micker banned (yellow cards) but Albesa gets the goal and we’re still in the game.

More than in the game! Boavista stun Bayern and we’re just a win in Portugal from the last 8.

We’ve got a non-league draw in the Pints Cup and a much changed side is able to get through with three goals in 5 minutes. All eyes turn to Tokyo…

The World Club Cup again. Time to become World Champions once more!

The Micker is big in Japan once again and he follows that up with the equaliser on our way to victory in Utrecht.

A dull draw with Feyenoord is just a warm up for a big European night.

We have to win in Boavista. The Micker is banned but do you know who isn’t banned? The evergreen Marc Degryse. Turn up the heat on our Champions League campaign.

Bayern are out so we really did well to recover that.

It’ll be a reunion with Rombouts in March.

This is where we leave the league. We’re scoring well but AZ have somehow not lost yet. The Micker’s reign is good but it could be better.

We’ll see you next week for the finale to our Christmas special. And yes, well done to those of you who spotted this is the Micker an Noel Edmonds.

Check out today’s advent calendar here

1 thought on “The Retirement Academy – Part 37: Micker’s Christmas Presents

  1. Pingback: The Retirement Academy – Part 38: St Mickerlas | CM 97/98

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