England make Baddiel and Skinner proud by being strong in Rome again, battling to a 0-0 draw. Sadly nobody has informed them that they actually needed a win due to Italy’s results not mirroring real life. So it’s a playoff for Glenn Hoddle’s men, but what’s the worst that can happen?

I predict a riot.

Meanwhile Aston Villa blink first in the managerial merry-go-round, sacking John Gregory and rolling back a year to re-appoint Brian Little. I don’t know why either.

It’s November so time for another serious injury, this time Figo somehow breaks his pelvis – presumably doing a bicycle kick in an advert for Just for Men. Still got it.

England see off Ireland over two legs and they’ll be very happy with the draw – Russia, Saudi Arabia and Switzerland. Yes please.

Meanwhile, a true gent is back in football, as well as being the background to the game he’s back in La Liga

Things have turned right round for the Crazy Gang, sitting in the top half of the table as we reach the end of November. The highlight is a 3-1 win over Aston Villa (no wonder they sacked John Gregory) as Sean Devine nets a hat trick. Newcastle and Bolton are also seen off 3-0 in an exceptional October, spoilt only by an extra time exit at Sheff Wed courtesy of a Ritchie Humphreys double (obviously). It’s not enough to earn manager of the month though as Chelsea player-manager Vialli gets the nod. Sadly Jason Euell gets done in training (presumably Vinnie) and either medical facilities have come a long way in 18 years or Euell’s leg is in bits

November is fractured (sorry Jason) by the international games mentioned earlier but a series of draws keep us in the top half. As we’re almost half way through, here’s some stats

Premier League –

Finally top scorers. some huge names in here. And Derek Lilley

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