Goodbye, my friends

I know you’re going searching but I can still feel you here.

As I’m determined to be back in the Premier League, it’s a massive spanner in the works that no jobs are available. I was hoping somebody would retire or something but they didn’t, so I’m still at Axuerre. I thought about resigning but it could be months for all I know, so I’ll make the best of it. The board seem to realise I’m keen to upsticks and dangle a £13m carrot

I could do a lot of damage with £9m. So much so, my first move is to bring Auxerre legend Antoine Sibierski back to the club

Sibs been winning everything with PSG and has broken into the France squad so it’s a bit of a coup, and he slots well into the team. Elsehwere there’s the usual flurry of moves

Coventry clearly know the way to my heart as well, offering an old favourite of mine

I’ve wanted Zetterbeg off the wagebill for a while and Mulryne can keep Nevland company, so that’s happening. Things are going pretty well and we’re off to a good start in the league, but then…

I’ve got to have it. Leeds have money in the bank and UEFA cup football having just finished 5th. It’s the perfect solution. Goodbye, my friends.

It took them 2 weeks to get to it but I’m in charge, and it’s not even a bad squad

The main man Scimeca will be useful, Lee Bowyer is an England regular and they’ve got Robbie Keane, who will not have forgotten that I gave him his chance at Wimbledon (shakes fist). We’re off like a train too

It does help that Liverpool implode. Just as I think this has all got very easy, we run into Marashliev and his mates

Steve Simonsen obviously shows no sentiment to what I did for him. With the dust settled, Leeds were 15th when I took over, now they’re slightly higher