I’ve been back in England for most of the 02/03 season, and after an initial honeymoon period, things have turned a bit sour for me at Leeds. It’s not a disaster, but it’s not as good as I would have liked. On the plus side, I’m building a decent side and if the board are patient, I might be on to something. Here’s how 2003 is treating me.

My league form is atrocious, even Joe Kinnear is getting one over me

It would be that man Heskey too, who to be fair is now a 1 in 2 striker. Spurs are pushing the top end of the table and the unthinkable is..well kind of thinkable.

Meanwhile it’s all kicking off for Brian Little

Hot on the heels of losing Robbie Fowler, maybe it’s all falling apart for Brian. Mind you, I can’t talk, it’s one disaster after another. Out of the FA Cup at the 4th round, the UEFA Cup might add some solace. Wrong.

I’ve never liked the away goals rule. The problem I’m having is that we don’t score as many as I would like and we concede plenty. I’ve also set about making the squad my own, including this chap

He’ll never amount to anything. Also, my old pal from Wimbledon and Auxerre has come to help out

Him and Scimeca will make a dream team. Speaking of Wimbledon, the half dozen fans who travelled to this one will have given me pelters. Thankfully, Andy Gray dug me out of this hole.

No, not that Andy Gray. It’s all getting a bit weird anyway, Wimbledon you may remeber are now managed by Dave Bassett, after John Toshack went to Arsenal. Well, watch this unfold

Job swap. If that’s not enough, there’s the usual array of transfers going on

Never one to be left out, I finally get my hero to the club

He might be coming to the end of his career but hopefully he can solve my problems. I doubt it though. Overall I’ve ripped the squad to bits and it should make for a decent season next year.

It’s no wonder we can’t win, half the lads probably don’t know each other. On the plus side, we do have a cup final to attend. Might even get my suit on for the trip to Wembley

Gordon Milne’s Chelsea will give us a game. Here’s how the table looks at the end of March

It’s really gotten quite grim, we’re no better off than when I took over. But we will be fine. Kevin Keegan’s Blackburn, however, might not be. Dave Bassett’s Wimbledon have no chance.

For those interested, here’s the FA Cup semis

Bloody Kinnear. And finally, the Champions League semis

Man Utd are perenially in the semi finals, maybe this could be their year?

So join us next time where we’ll find out if I’m going to wear a full suit for a video game, if I can remember the lyrics to abide with me and hopefully at the end of it all not get relegated.