It’s 2004 and English football is in mourning after the Euro 2004 final defeat. Never fear though, the Premier League season is back and Darlington are in Europe! Let the journey begin…

Seeing as we’re big time now, more people want to come and see us! The board just keep coming up trumps with this.

Hilariously, that’s 24188 seats meaning we still house 1500ish standers. That probably goes against every rule in the Premier League book, but whatever.

We know we’re in the big time because our players are now being poached by Europe’s elite

I doubt Real Madrid will ever buy a player from Darlington ever again

This one is actually really annoying, as I had Illingworth pegged to replace Germano, who has started to decline, but then he is 34 and Brazilian so he should be in one of the lucrative European leagues by now.

One of the World’s best has retired and taking his first steps into management.

I love appointments like this, it’s sort of believable that a player would start at a midtable club.

It’s fair to say the interesting transfers are drying up, we’re reaching that point where the big names are starting to fade out to be replaced by new blood. This is still relevant though

The traditional season opener is here

The eagle eyed amongst you will notice that Betterton was my goalkeeper for the first 4 years or so before he was poached by these jerks. They also have my replacement Illingworth, so back to the drawing board for a goalkeeper for me.

Chelsea have been mounting a decent challenge in recent season under Bryan Robson, and after consecutive 3rd place finishes, they finally got back into the Champions League. Robson’s reward?

A slow start to the season sees him sacked. It wasn’t desperate though, they made it through the group stages but sat 14th after 4 games. Very harsh!

Anyway, the logical thing to do is poach former Manager of the Season Gerry Francis, who has worked wonders at Leeds.

Leeds appoint Bryan Robson, so we’ve gone full circle.

I bet this was emotional

After taking Coventry to an impressive 8th last season, this is another surprising one. Sure they aren’t doing well after 4 games but to resign? Classic Keegan.

Tony Cascarino!?

Well whatever floats your boat. Cascarino just guided Fulham to 11th in Division 1 so he must have done really went at interview.

This will be a very Darlo-centric post from here as we are becoming the new entertainers

3-1 down, 3-3, 4-3 down, snatch a draw. We love it. Hillsborough seems massive these days too.

Battle of Britain to kick us off in Europe

That escalated quickly. Owen has a real taste for it in Europe as Gothernburg find out

It’ll be a much tougher test in round 4

We’re getting good results domestically too, this being a particular highlight

A famous result. We’re not doing as well as last year but we’re having fun, and that’s the main thing

West Ham are flying under Peter Reid, who really has enjoyed success throughout this game. Sheffield Wednesday under George Graham have become very stubborn, whilst Everton are a real threat under John Toshack. Of course, you can never rule out Ferguson’s Man Utd!

Aston Villa are the surprise name in the bottom 3 but sadly the rest of the bottom of the table is pretty much what I’d expect from a mix of newly promoted clubs. Wolves were very strong last season, so I’d expect them to improve. To be fair, Villa are managed by Liam Daish in his first managerial role, which is mad.

For those wondering, Arsenal stuck with Matt Le Tissier and top Division 1 comprehensively, even with a 34 year old Alan Shearer leading the line and Nigel Quashie in midfield. It’s some team. Anyway, join us next time as Darlo look to go big in Europe and West Ham continue to try and cheer up Peter Reid.