Welcome back to the madness – we’re catching up with real life at an alarming pace, but as we reach March 2014, things are about to be shook up to a whole new level. Newcastle are still scrapping away in Division 1 but prior to all of that, there’s more managerial stupidity to contend with.

You may recall the previous update ended with West Ham still looking for a new manager. That search has taken them down the rather odd route of Darren Huckerby

Huckerby brought Blackburn up from Division 1 and they sit in the top 8, so dropping down to relegation threatened West Ham is somewhat surprising. Having said that, West Ham were in the Champions league just 4 years ago, so maybe he can work his Huckerby magic.

Anyway, that pointless anecdote was not without good reason. Who’s in at Blackburn!?

Yet another of my Darlo greats is in the management game! Coming in at the top level is a big test for the former England defender, but then he did win the Champions League so nothing fazes him. Good lad. This is only the start of the stupidity though

Spain have had enough of David Unsworth successfully qualifying for tournaments, they need somebody else. But who? WHO!?

Oh for crying out loud. Gerry is going to win the World Cup isn’t he?

Darlo need a new gaffer, and they opt for local-ish lad Bryan Robson.

Oddly, Sheff Wed decide I am the man – I like to think Batistuta junior put in a good word

I’ve never been a fan of Wednesday’s though so I’m staying at Newcastle. David Unsworth returns to England to take the job on

Happy New Year! One more piece of news for you comes from Division 1 though

The World’s oldest player is on the free transfer market! I imagine he’ll find managerial work before long.

Over at Newcastle we’re having another late run at the playoffs, we’re just 3 points outside with 7 games to go.

As you can see, progress has been steady

It’s frustrating in many ways as we have Zidane, Weah & Ronaldo re-incarnated leading the attack but they are still developing. The problem is we can’t defend. We are the leagues top scorers though, so that’s nice.

Away from the rough and tumble of the football league, the league cup has got finalists!

Huckerby! Oh and Ian Snodin. It’s just all so odd.

The FA Cup will see both teams have a dress rehearsal for the final as they meet at the Quarter Final stage.

Alvin Martin is now at Wolves so it’s a potential grudge match for him if he goes up against West Ham. Roy Evans is still Palace manager, he’s got a decent cup record in recent times.

Europe’s elite is all over the place, I mean look at La Liga

I like Atletico Madrid’s chances – they are managed by former Man Utd player Matteo Pelatti and haven’t won La Liga during this game.

The Champions League quarter finals see most of the favourites bow out, including holders PSV.

The semi final line up is a bit unusual as a result

The all Italian semi final is one nobody saw coming.

World Cup 14 is just around the corner, this time being held in Germany. Just 8 years later than scheduled. Marcello Lippi’s England have a decent group.

I hope he loses every game and gets fired. Good luck to him, I hope England win.

As ever, here’s the Premier League table to finish

It’s looking like an exciting finish to the season, the league seems to have averaged out a bit but Matt Le Tissier’s Arsenal lead the way. Darlington used to finish strongly under Gerry, whereas Sheff Wed always fell away under Bryan Robson so we’ll see if that is the case.

Oh Norwich. I am sorry. Huckerby has games in hand that might save West Ham but Man City & Sheff Wed have both been heavily involved at the other end of the table in recent times, so it would be a shock to see any of those 3 relegated. I’m predicting a massive shake up at the end of this season either way.

Hopefully by then I will have managed to guide Newcastle back into the elite but who knows – joins me next time, won’t you?

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