This is a bumper update so I’ll keep the chit chat to a minimum. We’ve come to the end of 2017/18 and there’s drama everywhere you look, starting with the pointless cup final. Steve Haslam is in the hunt for the quadruple with Darlington, can he seal trophy one?

League Cup

Oh, penalties.

Steve Haslam’s quadruple update is dealt a severe blow and it’s now trebles for Steve.

FA Cup

The football league is well represented here, and what’s more Keith Peacock’s Charlton force a replay with Haslam’s men. West Ham see off Brentford in the other semi final.

The replay sees Darlington pay the penalty for the second time in 10 days.

Crikey. So it’s a West Ham/Charlton final and somehow the first division side win it!

The biggest shock since Southport won it? I’d say so. Keith Peacock chooses to retire on a high so whoever takes the Charlton gig will have European football to look forward to.

Champions League

So, Steve’s treble is now a double. At least he’s in the Champions League final

Hercules aren’t even Champions of Spain yet they could be Champions of Europe.

They ARE Champions of Europe! Delight for their manager Luis Maria Martin Delgado, who I have never heard of. But power to him. For Haslam though all his eggs are now in the Premier League basket.

Premier League

It’s probably the tighest Premier League in years, with Bryan Robson determined to finally get his hands on the trophy with Sheff Wed leading the way. With 2 games to go, somehow, seven teams are in the running. Including us!

Darlo have an all important game in hand though, which makes them favourites. By the time another week passes, seven has become four, although we are relying on a minor miracle to even get in the 2nd Champions League spot.

Here’s the fixtures:

With the top 3 all facing away trips to midtable clubs, we even have the hardest fixture of the four. Nevertheless, let’s give this some respect.

We get our bit done

Darlo started the day top but they’ve fluffed their lines AGAIN, losing at Anfield

That leaves the door ajar for Bryan Robson and Sheffield Wednesday…

Hmm, so as it stands, Arsenal need to win to take the title. At worst we’ve got second sewn up…

Oh my. They’ve all blown it!

By four measly goals, we take the league title from my former club. The league may have a pitiful amount of goals but what drama. We’ve done it! It’s the only time we’ve been top all season, which is remarkable

If that’s not enough, we’re still in the Cup Winners Cup too

A final! I’ll have a double, please.

Wow. It’s been a strange old run-in, not exactly goals galore though

Before we dive into the 2018 World Cup, a few bits and bobs.

Barcelona need a new manager

They opt for a current player of theirs, who has been a Barcelona player since 2004.

He was also a member of my Spain squad many moons ago. Good luck to him.

Beardsley lives on, somehow his physical stats have re-generated. I don’t know why.

And with that, it’s time to head to Brazil for the 2018 World Cup

Here’s England’s men for the occasion

That probably means very little to you but Mendes has been in great form for Darlington.

It’s a great start for England, back to back wins puts them through to the last 16 with a game to spare.

2-0 to the England becomes a popular terrace chant

It’s bad news for host nation Brazil though, they’re out after losing to Slovenia

How foolish. The last 16 includes Ireland and thankfully Trinidad & Tobago have made up after their brief split.

Holders Holland see off Ireland

Whilst Argentina vs Spain is an all time classic

England keep their hopes alive too – but only just.

Let’s take a look at the last 8

2002 winners Nigeria up next for the holders whilst England and Argentina renew old rivalries

France vs Italy is the glamour tie of the round though

England’s dream is ended by the South Americans

I hope England sack their manager in disgust. They won’t though. Semi-finals…

Holland are two games from retaining the trophy! But they will go no further..

Brian Spork is a great name. Who will the French face in the final?

Those good natured Argentinians eh? It means an all European final in Brazil. Firstly though, who finishes third?

Porcel is Ariel Ortega only he plays for Derby, it’s all very odd. Anyway, final time

So Germany win the World Cup in Brazil. I’ve heard that before. Where are we going in 2022?

Lovely.

Let’s have some awards

Me!

Assorted others! All that’s left to bring you is a boat load of retirements

Some beloved names calling it a day there, so lots of job opportunities for the new season. Somehow, I’ll be playing Champions League football and I’ll also get a crack at the Super Cup as we won the Cup Winners Cup, so that’s exciting. Join me for it, won’t you? Bye for now.

For more CM9798, check out The World According to CM9798 available on Amazon