Welcome along to the final update of the 2018/19 season. It’s our 22nd season and as speculation mounts about when the game cuts off, I’m sure it’s not any time soon and with that theory in the bank, let’s get on with handing out some trophies.

League Cup

So it’s the pointless cup up first and seeing as I haven’t won this in my career on this save, I’d like to add it to the collection

It’s in the bag! Not a vintage performance but it’s our 2nd trophy of the season. Our Dutch duo at the back have just started to get International recognition, so it’s no surprise one of them takes man of the match honours here.

FA Cup

Sadly we won’t be winning this one after our defeat to Damien Johnson’s Aston Villa in the quarters, and it’ll be a Villa vs Preston final.

Preston, managed by Stuart Pearce, have battled bravely against relegation but winning the cup would be a huge shock

Bit one sided. Damien Johnson is a genius.

Champions League

So, back to my involvement. The semi-final lineup saw us drawn against David Unsworth’s Real Madrid

A tremendous second leg performance at a raucous St James’ and it’ll be the Nou Camp in may for us. That final will be against Brann of Norway, somehow, who have beaten Ajax. They have no standout players and it’s not like Norway have been great, though they did host Euro 2012. Maybe they invested well? Either way, insert your own Brann for breakfast jokes here.

Champions of Europe! 9 years since I last won the trophy with Sevilla, it’s nice to be Europe’s best again. It’s my front 2 who do the damage again.

That’s the Super Cup, the League Cup and the Champions League in the bag – how about retaining the league?

Premier League

I’d love to give you the drama of last season’s title race but it fell a bit short as we won the title with a game to spare.

Derby had a game in hand at home to Preston but blew it and ended up losing the game, meaning the title race didn’t go down to the last day. It meant I could rest the entire team ahead of the Champions League final, which as you’ve already seen went to plan

Gordon Milne has taken West Ham to the Champions League, which is basically his way of continuing to get on my nerves. He managed Man Utd for a number of years and I thought I’d seen him off, but apparently not.

We must say good bye to Forest, Swansea & Barnsley though, despite two of them reaching the magical 40 point mark. The league is a lot tighter than when that landmark was dreamt up, with barely 30 points between top and 19th.

It’s fair to say our success is down in no small part down to Joni (Weah) and Antonio Carlos (Ronaldo)

Mariasson is also the famous Icelandic DM/FC who is on his third regeneration at the moment.

Good times. For the record, Milan won Serie A whilst Hercules won La Liga.

Everybody’s favourite aged footballer is still going, though his record at Grimsby isn’t great

His stats are…just wonderful

He’ll be hoping for a new managerial gig soon, you would think.

Time for some awards though, this was a nice haul

But for the real awards…

Incidentally Edmondson was on loan at Scarborough – he’s Michael Owen’s re-gen and will be in my first team plans going forwards.

This part is getting more and more like the Oscars where they do a tribute to those who have left us in the past 12 months

This was just the most vital-to-the-story 3, Stuart Pearce has also retired as manager. He’s yougner than Beardsley, who is still playing, so I don’t know what he’s playing at. There’s 12 retirements in all, which means there’s jobs everywhere.

So that’s it, another update in the bank. We can start to look forward to Euro 2020, and you just know I’ve got a load of vision based puns for that. See you then.

Looking for a holiday read? The World According to CM9798 is available in paperback and on Kindle!