What’s all this then? Get caught up here

Welcome to the first preview piece for the new save. Hopefully the introduction has got you in the mood for some retro madness, so I’m going to bring you the latest from four teams per preview, highlighting who they’ve put in charge, how they’ve spent their £25m and if they’re on course for success. I’ve had to play up to the end of October, 15 games in, to allow these idiots to actually sign some players. As you’ll see, some are still a work in progress

London Gunners (Arsenal)

Despite losing their place at the top of the alphabet, the London Gunners now carrying a threatening name. They’ve also appointed the polar opposite of Arsene Wenger

In the least surprising move ever, one of Jack’s first signing was Dennis Wise. They’ve also gone for Gary Pallister, Gary Flitcroft and Tim Flowers, but went more exotic for their big signing:

Jack’s still got £10m in the bank, which looking at his squad is hardly a surprise.

Seems like signing just four defenders was an awful idea, but 6 forwards should help. Jack plays 4-4-2, to the surprise of nobody.

Current Position: 14th

Prospects: Honestly, not great. They’ve invested very strangely and the remainder of the budget should really go towards defenders. Big Jack was not the man for this environment.

Aston Thrillers (Aston Villa)

Their name is a dream of a pun, and they have gone for current Birmingham player Steve Bruce as the man for job.

They’ve predicted the future! Attracted to Steve’s multiple title winning credentials as a player, they’ve killed two birds with one stone by signing a player and a manager. Brucey’s gone big on midfielders, spending £4m on CM legend Sabri Lamouchi and Santiago Ezquerro, but he’s got some decent bargains up front with former Man Utd team mate Andy Cole heading the attack.

Again, a bit light on defenders but who needs defenders anyway when you’ve got Tony Adams, Henning Berg and Julian Dicks alongside you, like some sort of 1996 fantasy football back four.

Current Position: 4th

Prospects: Very promising. There’s still £11m in the bank, and they’ve made a very good start. Should only get better from here

Barnsley Tykes (Barnsley)

It’s not very imaginative to put their nickname in the club name but…get used to it. This is one of my favourite stories, because they’ve appointed a Yorkshireman

The man who shot to fame in the mid 90s is the perfect man to spearhead a project like this. His signings don’t let us down either – they’re turning down everybody to play for King Kev.

Kevin Gallen and Roberto Muzzi also arrive, but again there’s a lack of defenders. Perhaps no surprise with Kev

Still, like I always say, if you can afford to leave Chris Casper out, you must have a good team.

Current Position: 3rd

Prospects: With only £900k left in the coffers, Keegan will need to go with what he has for the most part. If injuries are kind to them, they might be able to hang on for European qualification.

Blackburn Bears (Blackburn)

Prepare yourself for some hideous decisions, it’s like the Venky’s are in charge

NAYIM FROM THE HALF WAY LINE. This guy is famous form among other things, beating Arsenal in the Cup Winners Cup final. Obviously that would be his appeal to a mass Premier League audience. However, he’s really struggled to attract players in any great number, though the addition of Romario should help

Now we’re talking. I’m sure he has more than 0 goals for Brazil though. Anyway, he’s living the dream of playing alongside Martin Keown, Darren Peacock and a very young Ian Harte. Honestly, this team is atrocious, and threadbare.

Romario is yet to score in 10 games…

Current Position: 20th

Prospects: 1 win and 5 goals in 15 games tells you everything you need to know. There’s still £12m in the bank but they need a miracle. No wingers in the whole squad, so the manager is playing a 4-3-3 narrow with Lee Jarman as an emergency forward. Lovely.

That’s it for this update though, join me next time as I take you through the happenings at Bolton, Chelsea, Coventry and Crystal Palace

The Men Who Stare At Goals featuring several members of the FM Community, including myself, is out now!