Hello! Forgive my tedious title but it was inevitably going to happen if the situation allowed. We’ve reached the end of season 2 and my experiment of franchising the Premier League has actually just made things more insane than normal, as you’ll see in this post. Meanwhile my Altrincham side are hoping to secure a playoff spot. Excited? Don’t get your hopes up. Let’s start with the Pointless Cup.

League Cup

First final of the season and it’s an all Yorkshire affair.

Warren Barton lifts the trophy. Can’t help but feel the Owls would do better playing Mark Iuliano ahead of say, Alan Wright, but what do I know?

FA Cup

In the cup where you actually get something for winning, the Dell Boys make their mark

I even felt the need to show you Dion Dublin scoring twice to knock out his former club. What a signing.

The final, of course, is a bland affair between the Bears and the Boys.

BOYS BEAT BEARS is a confusing headline. Enough of this, let’s go continental

Champions League

Chelsea and Rangers had a chance of making it an all British final but…they failed. Only just in Rangers’ case.

The final is a surprisingly one sided affair but what do Milan expect when they buy all that talent but have Taibi in nets and Pistone with the armband?

Meanwhile, in the more quieter corner of Lancashire known as Altrincham, we’ve cracked the top 7 to earn a play off spot. What’s more, we’ve come from behind to earn a trip to Wembley. Tell me ma, me ma…

Wembley is…a third full, but it’s a Lancashire derby

At 2-0 down, I rip into the lads at half time and tell them to stop embarrassing themselves and that they need to do this to put Altrincham on the map. Several of the lads point out they used AA Route maps to find the training ground when they signed but I tell them to stop taking it literally. A lengthy discussion ensued, and before we knew it half time was over. They’d forgotten everything I told them tactically and scored four goals without much fuss. We’re going up!

Meawnhile, back in the Premier League, in the words of Jim Ross, WE’VE GOT A NEW CHAMPION

Nice. Comfortable winners in the end and the Dell Boys, with the smallest stadium in the league, will be in the Champions League next season. Arrigo Sacchi is a genius. The Cobras are the worst defending champions ever, surely nobody will ever be as bad as that except…themselves in 17 years time, or Leicester in 18 years time. Whatever.

In a big plus, all the non-franchises are relegated

Continuity!

Southampton celebrate by signing Paul Lambert. I don’t know why.

Awards time. No surprises in the winners, except Mark Hateley who got 101 points for Hull but doesn’t get manager of the year in Division 3. Also, Kirovski as the Writers’ player of the year? ALan Kelly as PFA Player of the year for relegated Sheff Utd? Lots of surprises, in hindsight. I love you, Andre Mainwaring.

It’s all too much for some, leaving two vacancies for the new season

Whilst I’m not qualified for either job, hopefully another strong season at Altrincham will allow me to move on to somewhere new. Stepping stone, make no mistake about it. Anyway, Season 3 is shaping up to be a belter so I’ll see you next Sunday, aye?

If you missed it in the week, I’ve been having a chat to Alex Stewart from The Set Pieces. Catch up with that here