We re-join Matt Porter in pre-season 1998. How do you prepare a club like Stockport for the Premier League? Catch up with the end of Season 1 here. Oh and I’ve ditched the Roman numerals.

The euphoria has barely died down, but it’s the end of May and I now need to do some serious wheeler dealing in the close season if we are going to have any chance of staying in the Premier League. Scouting through Europe and released players as I am not exactly sitting on a fortune, there are areas to improve.

Stockport has the largest singular brick built structure in Europe in the form of its railway viaduct to be proud of, but not a lot more, I want to make our football team another top feature of the town!

I feel this may be the first of many:

As a Bolton fan I really should run a mile, especially as his wages are ludicrous, but I feel the buzz it will create around the town will be incredible. I just hope he doesn’t keep all the local takeaways in business:

It would appear signing Jardel on silly money has scared our board who now limit our wages to £3784 per week, because that makes perfect sense. This may not work out very well….

On a lighter note, we do have a surprising bid:

Well Marsden has gone, but we still can’t afford any wages which is making me miss every single transfer target. This could be a long pre-season. I am however able to sign another keeper, just in case Edwards can’t make the step up, a bit of a legend too:

I forgot to screenshot it, but I got a bid in of £1 million for Tom Bennett so let him go to Leicester, maybe that’ll sort the wages issue?

It worked! Having failed 3 times, it is 4th time lucky as I can offer a decent wage for a good young defender who crucially can play as a wing back.

What a career Andy, enjoy your retirement!

Well Edgeley has been packed all last week, and it will now be even more spacious, and revenue generating. Oh God, what have I become? Revenue generating? It’s everything I hate, but it has to be done, we’ll just have to play some ridiculously entertaining football and see what happens.

Oh I could get really pissed off with this game. Robert Jarni agrees to discuss terms with me and I can only offer him 3k per week! Argh! Why are my wage offerings fluctuating so much? I go and ask the chairman, he tells me it’s whether he’s in a good mood or not. Bloody wonderful Brendan, bloody wonderful.

Time for the first of 2 pre-season friendlies with my (slightly) new look squad. I’ve done nowhere near as much as I had hoped and have too many non-EU players, so I am glad when Leicester come out of the blue with an offer for one of my outliers:

Due to this being a friendly the foreigners aren’t noted on here, but it is a worry, alongside the fact we are light on both numbers and quality.

I am sticking with the 5-3-2 attacking formation I went for last year, because I can’t just hold on for points so might as well go down fighting. I have only signed 4 players: Srnicek, Simic, Jardel and a regen called Jean Bray who looks a decent prospect in midfield. I know I can’t play the team I play here in the league as there are 4 non-EU’s, but I’ll give it a run out in the friendly and see what happens.

Birmingham are the first visitors to Edgeley and I anticipate a bumper crowd. God I’ve missed football, let’s get some momentum to take into the season.

Not my best ever first half, although some decent performances. Time for some changes and lets see what happens. It’s only a friendly lads so I’m not going to get too wound up about it, and we are the better team.

Well that went well… I’m not going to dissect that performance or I’ll cry. I’m not panicking though…yet.

I feel like this pre-season has been pretty awful really, nowhere near enough signings and then that dreadful performance. I am hoping this Leicester bid might help loosen the purse strings so I can make some late signings.

Tetradze goes for a tidy profit, so I’m buying another non-EU. Yes I know I can’t play them all, but this lad is class and fits my system perfectly. I now need to buy another keeper as big Pav will be a victim of the “non-EU” rule.

Unchanged side for Everton at home, please let it click this time… Interesting signing for Everton in Kinkladze, Jarni isn’t fit even for the bench for me.

Eesh we got battered in that half, I’m dropping a man back into midfield and see how it goes, I still want to go with wing backs but I’m not sure it’s working brilliantly at the moment.

The second half is far better, we are the better team but still indebted to Edwards at times. Jardel scores, we draw the half but lose the game. Small improvements.

Oh my God oh my God oh my God! Random bid I never thought would work has worked! And yes I know I already have too many strikers but fuck it, how could I not?!

Slightly less exciting, but he is the England under 21 keeper so has to be worth a go. Neil Edwards looks nervous.

Didn’t see this one coming!

Well it’s been an interesting transfer window, it started so badly but I have managed to make some decent signings in the end. The town is buzzing with the idea of Jardel and Dugarry up front, and there is some proper class around. I have some severe worries about central defence and central midfield though, I am a bit of class light and I also have an issue of only being able to play 3 out of my 4 good foreign lads. I’ll still be shopping around for a few weeks, but it is better than it was. Looking forward to the new season, and Stockport taking on the big boys!