My Portugese is coming on well thanks to Rob Tait. One phrase a week is all I need. This week, Rob sets about trying to get Uniao back on track with their team full of Brazilians. Is second season syndrome still biting hard? Catch up with part 4 here.

Hi all, part one all ended a little bit negatively last week, we lost three in a row and the board couldn’t make up their mind if they were delighted or expected better. I think I was expecting too much from the lads so I’m going to calm down a bit and not let the pressure get to me. I’ve told the boys of an ancient proverb “a vida e uma montanha russa (life is a roller coaster) and we’ve just gotta ride it. With the wise words of Ronan Keating ringing in their ears we travel to Lisbon.

Err, well it was to be expected but that is now four losses in a row. Again we were really bad, our shooting accuracy is worse than, well you decide. It’s not all doom and gloom though, Zara returns and we host local Madeira rivals Maritimo next.

I’m going to say we set up to play counter attacking football (we didn’t) and it paid off. Laelson is still getting a fair few goals but I’m not sure the support is there for him this year.

Next up is Rio Ave away. After 26 minutes we look to have turned a corner and are 2-0 up. From there though we are back to how we started the season and concede two soft goals to finish with a disappointing draw.

Next is Farense at home. It’s not the most exciting game but Helcinho, who has been quiet this year and Laelson are on the score sheet again. They score a consolation goal but we have a little run developing 7 points out of 9 isn’t bad.

The next two games are away to Leira and Benfica, both end as 1-1 draws. Leira could have gone either way but the Benfica one was a little lucky. We haven’t lost in five games now.

The Benfica game was the halfway point in the season and we have clearly turned into draw specialists. Still 12th, we are not that bad defensively but we are nowhere near as clinical in front of goal and that is costing us valuable points.

The final five games of this update are cruel to say the least. Away to Belenenses who are below us but then we face fifth place Boavista, first place Porto, second place Braga and finally fourth place Vit. Guimaraes. First Belenenses and when you look at the stats this result was just unfair, 15 year old me would have turned off the computer in disgust, 36 year old me can’t be bothered with the hassle of restarting and replaying games.

A week later at home to Boavista and for the second week in a row we are the better team, the usually reliable Carlos is having a nightmare and when we go from 2-1 up at half time to losing 2-3 I’m nearly ready to jack this whole ridiculous idea in, especially when it is Porto away next week.

We travel to Porto expecting nothing but somehow we go in at half time drawing 1-1. Then in the 64th minute, totally against the run of play and most unexpectedly recent signing Nene unleashes a thunderbolt and we somehow hang on for a famous victory.

The world/Portugal is in shock and so am I.

Very good doesn’t really do this justice, this is a bloody miracle. The final game on January and we host Braga, and win, 1-0 bloody Nene at it again, what’s going on here?

Finally we go to Vit. Guimaraes and we don’t just sneak a win we flippin smash them 4-1. Nene again this time supported by some old favourites.

These last three games have just blown me away. What a way to end the update and what form to take into the last third of the season. I don’t want to get ahead of myself but I’m looking at the table thinking 6th is possible. We could finish 6th.

Join me next week to see what happens, we’ve got our Mojo back.

You can follow Rob on Twitter @Taitanator