CM9798 Retirement Home – Part 5: Recovery Position

Hello and welcome back to the Retirement Home! Last time out our old boys struggled to get to grips with Division 2 and the arrival of Ian Rush did little to help. We look like relegation material already as we sit one point above the drop zone, albeit 15th.

Div 2 bottom October

Can we turn that frown upside down? I really hope so…

Firstly though it’s the Windscreen Shield and Grimsby away. My slagging of Ian Rush last week seems to do the trick as he nets twice early on. We end up winning 4-2 and hopefully we can bottle whatever we did here and replicate it on a stage that actually matters.

Grimsby away Windscreen

Nope, we struggle to a draw against Rotherham. At least Brian Marwood seems to have his mojo back, if he possesses any.

ROtherham home S2

A glitch in the game means we get another shot at overturning Man City’s 2-0 lead. We manage, after extra time, but it doesn’t alter the third round draw. Basically, we’ve wasted 120 minutes on this meaningless mess.

6-3 man city

Dave Beasant is averaging nearly 7.50 but I’m always keen to try and find a better option. I realise I’ve picked a fish-less lake for this but nevertheless, the much maligned Grobbelaar has been’s released from Sheff Wed after his work permit expired whilst Kire Tracjev is a Macedonian International. What can go wrong?


Kire has the gloves at Port Vale, somewhere else we won last season. No such luck this time.

port vale away S2

Hull came up with us but they are making a far better fist of Division 2 than I am. They sit 3rd and take an early lead, but with Beasant back between the sticks it is only one and the newly reborn Ian Rush ensures we leave with three points.

Hull away S2

We’ve got something approaching momentum as Luton come and go from the Bungalow having scored first but went behind and then had a man sent off. It’s an excellent win.

Luton home

We’re already through in the Windscreen Shield so I can rest the entire team. Grobbelaar takes the gloves with disastrous consequences but frankly, who cares? Carlisle smash us to bits but it was at least the reserves.

carlisle home

Bristol Rovers are a tough proposition in the FA Cup. They’re in the Division 2 playoff positions and have Sean Devine leading the line. He scores twice, equalising 20 minutes from time to ensure we have to go to Bristol for a replay.

BRistol R FA Cup

I’d forgotten that Millwall’s ground used to be called Senegal Fields. Dave Beasant gives away two penalties in the opening quarter of an hour and somehow escapes without a red card. The Lions are bottom of the table though and have 41 year old Nigel Spink in goal, so maybe it’s no surprise that we ran roughshod over them in the second half.

millwall away

The cup replay then and after injuring danger man Jamie Cureton, we put one foot in round 2 when Rushy gives us the lead. We’re magnificent, we’re managing the game the way a bunch of veterans should…then player-manager Ian Holloway equalises. Extra time is about as entertaining as you would expect from a bunch of 35+ year olds and it goes to penalties. That’s ok though, we’ve got 1988 FA Cup final hero Dave Beasant.

To be fair, Beasant saves 5 penalties. What I didn’t expect was the utter failures from Rush, Bakero and Dixon, who all miss the target. Idiots. Once it goes to sudden death, Snodin misses a chance to win it before Holloway puts his side on the verge. This time, Malpas misses. Never try.

Rovers FA Cup

Ironically we face them in the league a few days later and win 4-1. They’ve got no sense of timing, these boys.

Bristol Home

Yet more cup action as Port Vale visit the Bungalow. Easy.

PV windscreen

As if to prove that group stage hammering from Carlisle was down to squad rotation, my full strength side ease to a 3-0 win. Quinn and Rush are a wonderful mustachioed duo, like drunk Chuckle brothers. Did both Chuckle’s have a tache? I digress.

CArlisle away

Game in hand time and with Fulham just outside the playoff places, this underlines our improvement as we go 10th, just two points from the top 6.

fulham home

We lose a tight game at Walsall though to undo some of that hard work. Grumble.

Walsall away

Leyton Orient came up with us but like Hull, they’ve been a lot better. They top the pile so a point at home isn’t the worst result, though 45 minutes against 10 men suggests otherwise.

leton orient home

A strange game at Preston. We lead early on but concede three in a mad 5 minutes. Rush and Bakero snatch a point.

preston away

That takes us into 1999 and we do Prince proud with a 6-2 hammering of Grimsby.

6-2 grimsby

Shrewsbury are in Division 3 but a poor performance from us ends our Windscreen campaign. I’m not exactly heart broken.

shrews WC

Defeat at Blackpool though is terrible. We’ve stalled a little.

Blackpool away

At least Quinn steals a point at home to Wigan. It’s not a good result but avoiding defeat with a late goal will have to do.

wigan home

The table makes for pretty average reading.

Div 2 top S2

So there you go, from 15th to 12th. Small steps, yes. But relegation is not so much of a threat now. If we can just put a run together, now would be a really good time to do that. 17 games to make up 10 points is unlikely, but unlike the Mulhouse save it’s not like we’ll have a better chance next season. Who really knows who will still be here next season?

Join me next week where we’ll find out what division we’ll be in but also who wants to go again. Toodles!

Leave a Reply