Bonjour! Welcome back to France for *checks notes* season 6 of the Mulhouse save, where I’ve taken the bottom club from the French league ladder and taken them to near the top of Ligue 1. Nobody really wants to play for us and we’re shopping in the bargain bin, but finished season five in incredible form to take 3rd place. With another UEFA Cup campaign to come, can we bolster the squad and hit the ground running?

Literally nobody signs. I’ll obviously try and spin this as a positive as after all, why would I disrupt a team on such a good run? We start the season on a Wednesday, for literally no reason, and Del is off to a great start as we win 1-0 away.

That’s followed up by a routine win over Bastia where their goalkeeper makes many a save but can’t stop the deadly duo overall.

Finally, a signing. This might be Heidenstrom re-formed, it certainly looks to be.

He makes his debut in a home beating of Caen. This a solid start and hopefully a sign of things to come.

The win away at Saint-Etienne is wonderful. It would get the full 10 stars except for Wicks picking up a fortnight long injury. Thankfully I have Thuram and Bound waiting in the wings.

Martigues, who I always think sound quite Portugese, hang on for a while before making us hang on ourselves at the end. A wins a win.

A filthy game against Lierse gets our UEFA Cup campaign underway and we look set to draw as the Belgians equalise on the stroke of half time. Macauley Culkin comes off the bench though to give us the lead and Del settles it. See you in Belgium, you filthy buggers.

It’s hardly ideal preparation for PSG away but we’re riding the crest of a wave at the moment. Denilson gives them the lead and we lose Sritong-In to injury from the restart. Crums. The resulting free kick is headed in by Wicksy though before Macauley Culkin scores his second important goal of the week to ensure we leave with the points. A huge result.

As usual by this time Monaco are in financial ruin. It’s ironic given they live in one of the richest places in the world but as a football club, they have players on high wages and next to no natural revenue. Still, they come from behind to lead us 2-1 and our perfect start is in trouble. Zitelli lashes past Barthez for 2-2 before Wicksy is at it again, heading in from a corner to keep us top of the pile.

The job is done in Belgium. 39 year old Pennyfather has started curling his moustache at the ends but he takes time off from that to give us the win on the night. Good lads.

Lens are then brushed aside two days later in the cup. Saturday-Tuesday-Thursday-Saturday is a backwards schedule but nevertheless, that’s three wins in 5 days.

Make that four in seven. Rai, the oldest mucker, scores twice to see off Metz. Remarkable.

The party finally stops after an International break. Rai scores again but a quickfire double on half time has us trailing. Although Del equalises we go toe to toe in the second half but can’t find the winner. It’s not a bad result, I guess.

This, however, is a worry. Salzburg absolutely batter us and despite our two away goals, we’re going to have a job on our hands in the return game. I blame Prunea, who was only getting a run out to try and preserve his work permit.

Our tough week continues with an away point to Guingamp. It’s annoying having taken the lead but we’re still unbeaten in the league.

That brings us to the clash we’re all here for. Strasbourg. My, how I loathe you Strasbourg. I feel every time we get one over them they get two over us. In this case we lead twice only for it to be 2-2 at half time. Del adds two more goals to his first half double and we run out 4-2 winners. Del will never have to buy a drink around me ever again.

To complete a very satisfactory first stretch, we overturn the Salzburg deficit. Old man Rai seals our place in the last 16

We’ve been drawn Guingamp, who I know we can beat. Better the devil you know? Maybe. Rather them than…Inter?

The table looks fantastic. Five points ahead with almost exactly a third of the season gone. There’s still a long way to go unfortunately but with some of the scheduling we have faced, I couldn’t be happier.

There is always the risk one of the big lads will come knocking for my better players, they won’t sign new contracts so I guess that will be a risk forever. Also, nobody wants to join this runaway freight train of success. For the first time though I feel like it is their loss. Join me next week to see if we can screw it all up. Bye for now.