Off Kilter – Season 1 Part 3 |@PeterJonesPhoto

Donning the Gold and Black kilt for the final run in. The last update got us on a par with the Cows and to finally shake of the Dumbs. Our goal-scoring has been somewhat stunted of late but at least we’ve conceded the least goals of the season.

Welcome back! We knew this day would come. A Big-Club release clause was always going to be a problem. (Insert your own jokes about Stoke being a big club) Then the phone doesn’t stop ringing. Barnet, Shrewsbury & Wrexham. I’ve taken it under consideration to try and squeeze as much money out of them as possible.

Sigh…Still, a healthy chunk of money to write off the debts and to find a replacement.

A bit of cup action and Dumb by name, Dumb by nature never learn! A couple of 1st half goals and a clean sheet with a new look defence and that’s a pleasing result.

Killing two Famous Grouses (I’ve never heard of him) with one stone, I’ve raided our closest rivals and signed this fella. He goes straight into the team.

Inbetween his acting gigs, McAvoy saves a cut and paste job.


We’re being asset stripped now. I knew the Big-Club Release clauses would cause us trouble bit I thought we’d hold on until the end of the season. Racing Club Lens, Fortuna Dusseldorf and Duisburg are spending big on international phone calls. I’m thinking off unplugging the bloody thing…

Off you go and make your shitty ‘comedies’ in Leicester. He’s done well for us though. There’s a few signing we could make but contracts are coming to an end so hopefully we’ll be able to snap up a few on the cheap in the off season.

Can we play Dumbarton every week? Only a couple of weeks for both injured lads.

Dear oh dear. And ANOTHER defender out. For 3 months now!

The result doesn’t tell the whole story. Morton are in Division One. For some reason, Dwyer’s injury doesn’t show. And then we have 2 goals disallowed. One in the 92nd minute! I’m locking the officials in their room and slashing their tires. Argh!

Yes!!! Finally we score!!! Against our title rivals!!! Our loanee and Nevin’s thoughts of Channel 5 banter with Colin Murray are just a pipe dream! More exclamation points please!!!

The cup replay sees Dwyer hitting the back of the net for the 1st time this year. Our make shift defence keeps a remarkable clean sheet to put us through for a big match against Rangers.

The board phone me up and are finally pleased. It’s not really about the football, lets be honest.

A brutal match sees us come out winners. Pretty easy against 10 men. Another manager of the month award is squeezed onto my desk.

Injury karma pays a visit to the dressing room and two of the lads limp off. Not good for our cup match at Ibrox.

McCoist eager to get the match finished off so he can get on set for Question of Sport and its hardly surprising the result given our injuries and cup-tied players.

Back to winning ways although we make a meal of beating 10 men. I’m fixing my tie for the post match interviews and miss Nevin claiming the ball and placing it on the spot. There are no prized cars behind the goal to distract him this time.

The big news we’ve all been waiting for with five matches to go. Just the race for top spot. We’re one point behind the Cows who have been relentless!

Well, that’s no way to celebrate. Fortunately, little Pat is on hand to inspire the team.

Little Pat is rolling back the years! A goal and a MoM!

The transfer valley is shutting soon and…eh??? How did I manage to pull that off??

And Brian can join the aging forwards. I think that will need to be sorted for next year.

Never fear, Pat Nevin is here! Another goal and Mom of the match. Sorry Col, you’re going to have to put up with Stan for a while longer.

Too many chances wasted to write here. And it looks like our title chances have slipped. But no! Breaking over the tannoy, the Cows have gone down to the mighty Albion Rovers!

We’re top on goal difference with one match remaining.

Pressure? What’s pressure for a 16 year old? The evergreen Nevin puts it beyond doubt. Now unless the Cows have scored 10, we should be champions.

Thankfully they don’t. CHAMPIONS!!!

And with Argentina winning the world cup, it’s on to next season.

Och aye for now!

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