Off Kilter – Season 3 Episode 2 | @PeterJonesPhoto

Peter returns with the latest from Alloa where they’re looking to build on a good start to life in Division 1

“Alloa and Recreation Park will be the light’s exhibits; Hung in a trophy cabinet ten million miles high.” Seems Norman McCaig was quite a fan of the mightly (non) Athletic.

He would have been a little peeved too as nearly 65% of our matches so far have been cup competitions. We’re having a decent run in the UEFA cup but I suspect our journey will come to a shattering end.

We watched them pour across the boarder and cautioned them to surrender; that…they actually did. I’ve let McGinty stretch his legs and he repays the faith.

Finally, my star. My angel. My beloved. My loanee because he’s only played 5 games in nearly 3 years. He immediately goes to Bristol to sample the cider. How he still gets picked for the U21’s? Bring us back a few kegs, Bazza.

We’ve changed our kits so often; we’ve lost another match. The boys are arguing whether ‘Mmm Bop’ or ‘Where’s The Love’ is the better song and the blonde boys sneak an early goal. A friend of this blog put us at gun point and it’s our turn to surrender.

A weeks rest and we banish those memories and we see St. Johnstone naked. (I think enough Leonard Cohen now…DB) I’m pleased Matthews got his first goal though.

A quick UEFA turn around and Montpellier are our biggest challenge yet. A tight game is loosened up by a red card and one of our bunch gives us a slim advantage. Strangely, 110 less turn up to watch. It’s only October.

Motherwell are sinking and we do another Arsenal.

The Bunnymen try to bring us down a peg but Spence has decided to get his shooting boots repaired. Through the thick and thin, he will wait and score you a hat-trick.

The return leg and we are absolutely pummelled. We don’t have a shot on target until the 60th minute. “Don’t Panic!” is the cry and amazingly Clive gives us a late late winner. How we survived that I do not know. We might actually win th…oh, it’s Roma next…

A few more names are added to the international roster. No full caps just yet.

Imagine you’d been stuck in traffic and you wanted to get a bridie in and missed the first 2 minutes. (I did that at a Millwall Ipswich match. Missed 2 goals in 3 minutes but fortunately it finished 4-3). At least an injury each keeps the fans entertained.

Two draws on the trot, we’re knackered and out of ideas. No cow tipping today, lads.

I give the pack a quick shuffle and we’re back to winning ways. Ethan gets one back but we’re comfortable. We need to get a few more training days for our next match though…

Off for a trip to the Stadio Olimpico and I don’t think the lads have ever seen so many people. That’s 15 times more than we get at the Rec! Unsurprisingly we struggle and no one gets above a 7. Even with 10 men, the Romans easily control us.

Fred comes out singing straight away but that man Spence gets us back on track. Brebs, who still won’t join us permanently, grabs a late one.

Forfar are going great guns and we’re livid for having a goal disallowed in the first half. Bloody flagging linesman. Rory decides he’s had one to many hairy jokes and we score from the resulting free kick. We’re hanging on at the moment.

We’ve pulled away a handsome 7 point margin and finally shaken off the Cow’s.

First match next, the return leg and we welcome the mighty Roman army to Recreation Park. Hopefully our kit colour will spark a conversation about the correct shade of samian ware and we can nick a few goals.

Och aye for now!

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