CM9798 Retirement Home – Part 48: Still Champions

Hey there! Do you remember when the Retirement Home won the league? That was two weeks ago. We’re not doing a very good job of defending our title but for another 26 games, we’ll still be champions. Or maybe you’re about to see the greatest of all comebacks…

PL top S16

On this evidence I’d say that’s unlikely. Losing those three centre backs has effected us badly. We’ve lost those stubborn qualities we once had.

Hull home S16

Still, in Europe we’re quite good. This win away at Sparta basically puts us into the last 8.

sp away

Defeat at Bradford takes me back to the bad old days. We’re going nowhere…quite literally Lynn, I’m on the ring road.

bradford away S16

Back to winning ways in the league as Ronaldo and the Gronk see us past Middlesbrough. Hurrah for nearly but not quite throwing away a two goal lead.

boro home S16

Galatasaray haven’t been great in the group but they come back from 2-0 down to cause us some problems. Zola wins it and then he asks to move to a bigger club. No, ffs.

Gala home S16

Derby have a player called Dave Plug which I think is what I’d call myself if I was an electrician. He lights up Pride Park before Linton travel tavern makes it 2-0.

Derby away S16

Goodbye Pointless Cup, you’ve been a waste of time as always.

newcastle LC

The Gronk! He’s still got it. Walsall however, do not.

walsall home S16

Huge news from Manchester as Alex Ferguson finally resigns.

Ferguson resigns

Even bigger news from Romania where we recover from conceding two goals in the opening four minutes to win and top our group. OGS netting a hat-trick must be some sort of Champions League record for his age.

Rapid away S16

AaB in the quarters. Like I’ve said before, the Scandinavian teams are like bloody Goldberg by this point in a save.

QF Draw CL

Oh yeah confirmation of the group. Sparta getting through with 10 points doesn’t reflect well on the other groups.

CL Group final

Lads. LADS? This was woeful.

leicester away S16

Well, this makes sense. Chelsea have been in division 1 for about 4 years but I’m sure that’s not Roy’s fault.

roy keane appointed

We briefly rally from 2-0 down against Liverpool but they go back ahead from the kick off. That’s annoying.

liverpool home S16

A much needed three points eases our relegation worries.

west ham home S16

Moore is banned for our trip to Old Trafford and Richard Wright makes his debut. It goes about as well as you might expect.

man utd away S16

I’ve found a 35 year old defender! We are very short in that area. Welcome, Duncy.


This guy looks amazing but there’s 4 or 5 of them in a save and they have ability of 1. Still, he’s 35 which is my only criteria.

Farouk sign

We’ve been dealt a rough FA Cup draw away at Premier League Middlesbrough and despite a valiant effort, we won’t be winning that either.

Boro FA Cup

Thankfully, Ipswich are poor away from home and we manage to beat them. Ronaldo is slowly coming into form.

ipswich home S16

We get thrashed at Newcastle. Urgh. We just can’t defend anymore.

newcastle away S16

All of that leaves us a miserable 13th in the table, probably far enough above the relegation zone to not be worried but quite far away from anywhere fun. We’ll always have the Champions League though!

PL Table January S16

Worth noting that Bradford beat us, so that bodes well. We’ll finish the season next week but where do we go from here? I don’t think we can go any further than this. I’ll try and round it to 50 episodes because 49 MESSES WITH MY BRAIN but we’ll see how that works out. See you next week. It might be emotional.

Leave a Reply