AFC United – Part 4 – A Twiss From A Rose | @Matt_C_Wills

We’re into week 4 of our Alex Ferguson Cast Off (AFC) odyssey and last time out we achieved promotion to Division 2 as champions. The season was a success, David Brown emerged as the new Graeme Tomlinson, while Graeme Tomlinson became the new Chicarito. Danny Wallace was a man reborn, we couldn’t decide who to put in goal, and in one match we had a BeeGees tribute act on the pitch. Bryan Robson was injured a lot, then retired, convincing Viv Anderson, Paul Parker and Neil Webb to follow suit. We signed Keith Gillespie and Alex Notman at the end of the season, but our squad needs some depth for Division 2.

We’re light on right backs and central midfielders. So who do we turn to? Only the great man’s offspring.

Fergie even cast off his son, not before he got a Premier League winners medal though. Can he be the link man between Tonge and Twiss? Time will tell.

I consider this guy for sheer comedy value, but opt out and let Chester give him a go

Quinton Fortune tells me he has no intention of stunting the development of Michael Twiss so politely turns us down

Future Fulham footnote, Erik The Viking from Nevland, joins our roster of forwards. Rumours that he turned down an offer an outfit in Holland to partner Mick Quinn are unfounded.

Not a bad bit of business, but we’re always keeping our eyes open for fresh talent. Meanwhile, our now customary pre-season friendly against City ends in a draw again, this time with goals.

Neil Whitworth is ex Utd. GT sends a warning to Erik Nevland on the bench. I’m not sure Robert Trees at right wingback will be the answer this season. I’ve considered whether to pursue regens of ex players, but will avoid for now. I might change my mind when Schmeichel retires.

Unitl that day arrives, Big Raimond joins as Carroll’s back up and United lend us a few of their youngsters. The other bit of business is convincing Fergie to let us develop Brown and Wellens for him.

Broadhurst Park (The real home of Salford City) welcomes Preston on the opening day and Its a narrow victory, but we’re up and running

United claim the Charity Shield, when last seasons cup hero Cole is amongst the blanks in the shootout. Le Tiss was probably 4th on the list…

Right, cheers for that Fergie. Second season in a row now. Still it’s not like I sacked Darren to incur this, is it?

Wes Brown would have been useful now that Hall will be missing for a couple of games, but I have Alan Tonge or Andrew Duncan to call upon.

No, we’re never gonna survive unless, we get a little crazy (and Brown keeps scoring goals)

Hull. Will they be our eternal nemesis? We squeeze through but we did it the hard way. Robbo’s brother in midfield there and the evergreen Pat Nevin up front (take him to Holland, Dave!). GT showing Nevland what he needs to be doing.

Southend nearly condemn us to a second defeat in a week until Brown shows he’s probably too good for Division 2 now

Sheff Utd pay a decent fee for another former Utd man. Colin will link up with Paul McGrath if his knees hold up (they will as I’ve shortlisted him…)

Keithy Gee is out until after xmas now, he’s barely had a chance to get going. Luckily I have Danny Wallace to turn to.

Dan answers the call! – Yes, I’m convinced he’s my best friend.

Ouch….Opening for Sibierski there. Or Grant Brebner.

King Erik has arrived! I used to watch Barry Hayles play for Truro City. 1990 FA Cup Final replay hero Lee Martin on the bench there. I checked the database, there’s around 140 current and ex-United players in there. Phenomenal. Only about 18 future players though, and Saha, Silvestre and Van Nistlerooy didn’t load this time out…

Of the 140 or so players available to me, I decide I need a bit of versatility in the squad, so I sign the Welsh Phil Neville.

Own goals, penalties, we’ll take the lot if it gives us 3pts

Brown is on fire for club and country at present

I try out Mark Wilson on the right flank and it goes pretty well…

Richie Wellens on loan slots in at left back after Switzer gets injured and William Prunier can’t stop this attack

Still, when you score loads, its only more frustrating when you draw a blank

Oldham are close rivals, so this is probably a better win than the recent 5-2’s. I don’t want the nickname Ronnie Red-Card to stick though.

Robins and Rodders do the damage in the Windscreen Shield. After the game Jonny asks me not to call him ‘Rodders’ anymore, so I settle on Dave. He doesn’t get it.

These 3 points were sealed with a loving Twiss

Brown sees us through in the League Cup, but there are casualties

Clayton Blackmore on standby

Well that didn’t go Alan Tonge, or rather it did – I confuse myself…Nice one Dave.

Steve ‘Barnes’ Bruce heads into management at Bradford


Brown striking up a good partnership with Owen bodes well for a possible future pairing at club level

Back in the here and now though, King Erik and GT pick up the slack


Can nothing stop David Brown?

Doesn’t seem like it…

Sod off Fergie. I’m tempted, only to recall him 2 days later, but I’ll rise above those antics.

Time to check the table. We are absolutely flying. We’ve scored 3 times as many goals as 7th placed Oldham.

Carroll seems solid in goal, Danny ‘The Wall’ Hall and Ronnie ‘The Wall (Work)’ Wallwork are our new Dolly and Daisy. Clayton (!) is popping up with winners. Darren Ferguson is quietly gong about his business and while Brown is smashing them in, our other strikers are all equal to the task when called upon. There’s another bright season ahead of us I hope!

I know it was Valentines Day yesterday, and my wife doesn’t read this, so I can safely say I love this team. See you next Monday

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