Great Heathen Army pt 8 – Bye George, We’ve Done It | @goatnmcl

Góðan Dag & Velkomin back to our Tuesday Treat. We finished up last time top of the league by 1 point but with a game in hand.

The title is most definitely in our hands and I tell the boys, 5 wins and it’s promotion, 8 wins and it’s a winners medal.

That being said, we start this week at home hosting Aldehulme who we knocked out of the FA Cup quarters. It seems their cup run had a negative effect on their league form as they’ve slipped out of the playoffs and dropped down to 9th. Molnar, Half Dan and Frandsen are all on International Duty. Gudjohnsen opens the scoring in the 22nd min only for Rush to equalize 3 mins later. We have plenty of chances but once again Kelly puts in a MOM performance for Oldham to ensure the spoils are shared.

I’m not sure if this is a glitch in the game but Heiselberg played for us and the Danish U21’s at the same time.

Next up is our game in hand at home to Scaef Utd. Our Danish trio are still away and then we have the nightmare of losing both our centre halves in the first half to red cards. Somehow, with only 9 men, we take the lead thanks to Lund following up Ivar’s blocked shot. Unfortunately we can’t hold out for the win as Kachuro equalizes for Sheffield in the 72nd. We do have a couple of chances to pinch the win but it’s not meant to be and it’s our second 1-1 draw in as many games.

We sign Leonhardsen from Liverpool to add some much needed Premier League quality to our side and ensure we keep up our push for promotion.

Bristol are starting to show their Premiership credentials by beating Chelsea (on penalties) in the League Cup final.

Time for our time to shine now in the FA Cup Semi Final vs Monkceaster at Goodison Park. It’s a chastening 1st half as Asprilla, Giggs & Gazza all score to put the Prem team in a commanding 3-0 lead at the break. Halle gives us a lifeline after some decent pressure at the start of the 2nd half and we continue to push throughout but can’t find a way past Barthez in the Newcastle net. Just look at that Newcastle team…. we’ve a long way to go before competing with the likes of that line-up.

We follow that up with a top of the table clash as we travel to Brycg Stowe in the league. Both our centre halves are suspended and the rest of our team are shattered following the cup game. I tell the boys they have to suck it up as this could be the title decider. WTF!!! Stand-in centre half Hagelund sees red in the 6th min for a deliberate hand ball and is off for an early bath! Why is this game so f*@king frustrating!!! Ivar scores to give us the lead in the 18th min but that just awakens the beast and Bennett and Hayles score to take Bristol in front. Ivar grabs his second to bring us level and I decide to freshen up by bringing on Lund and giving Leonhardsen his debut from the bench. There’s no further action other than Leonhardsen going off injured in the 89th min and is out for the rest of the season. Woo Sah, WOO SAH…. Looking at the stats, we were lucky to escape with a point.

After 3 successive draws and slipping into 2nd place we travel to the future capital to face Cynsigestun who dealt us our 1st defeat of the season. Gallen puts QPR in front in the 5th minute and I can feel the title slipping away from us. The boys have different ideas though and it just spurns them into action. Ivar scoring either side of a Frandsen strike to give us a healthy 3-1 lead at half time. Ivar completes his hat-trick 4 mins after the re-start and Lund bags at the end to give us payback to the tune of 5-1.

Another game 2 days’ later sees us host Bromleag. The players are totally cream crackered but they’ve a job to do. Ivar once again leading from the front giving us the lead in a relatively one sided affair. I get the lads in at half time and tell them the next goal is crucial, if we get it then we’ll go on to win. For once they listened and we score in the 50th min thanks once again to our goal machine Ivar. I’m proved to be a liar as Lombardo breaks my heart and scores a brace of his own in the 68th & 89th minute bringing Crystal Palace level. It looks like we’re doing this the hard way, although news filters through that we’ve regained 1st spot as Bristol have been hammered 3-0 by Birmingham.

We travel up the coast into Northumbria for our tie with Monkwearmouth. Another opposition keeper MOM performance sees Sunderland seal all 3 points. We were much better for long periods of the game but Iga stood tall. Russell’s 65th min strike took the wind out of our sails making it a long trip back home.

There’s 4 games to go and we’re level on points with Bristol at the top. So of course what we need is 3 players once again missing for International Duty…2 of which I know wont play! We travel down to Robin Hood country to take on Snotta Inga Ham Forest and make the perfect start with Ivar scoring in the 5th and 22nd min. There’s a goalmouth scramble and Brandal pokes home for our 3rd just before half time. Surely even we can’t throw this away? Lund gets our 4th in the 65th minute and just before I think it’s all plain sailing, Van Hoojidonk scores in the 85th setting off a crazy 5 mins of a scoring frenzy. Lund grabs his second in the 86th before Marcus Stewart bags a brace in the 88th & 90th minute with the game finishing 5-3. I’ll take the points though and that result ensures that we get promotion to the promised land.

Denmark win handsomely thanks to a Molnar Hat-trick and Half Dan coming off the bench to mark his debut with a goal and both getting a perfect 10 rating.

Mameceaster City come to town and are easily dispatched. Ivar once again leading from the front and scoring the opener. The lead lasts 12 mins when City hit back through the unlikely source of centre-half Dewhurst. Molnar flies one in like a rocket to give us the advantage again. I bring Lund on for the last 15 mins and he repays my faith in him by putting daylight between us in the 83rd.

We’re at home again for the penultimate game of the season with Stoc making their way North. It’s a slow 1st half and it takes until the 40th minute for Gudjohnsen to break the deadlock. Molnar doubles our lead after the break and in a turn up for the books, Hollund himself puts in a MOM display and keeps a clean sheet ensuring the 3 points are ours.

The final game of the season see’s us travel to Mercia to take on 3rd placed Beorma’s Ham. Bristol have pushed us all the way and are only 3 points behind, however it would take a goal swing of approx 24 goals to knock us off our perch. It’s the home side who take the lead through Hughes in the 12th min. Lund gets us level in the 20th min before Devine does divine things and puts Birmingham 2-1 up. Hughes scores his 2nd early in the second half so i decide to freshen things up a bit. Even though he’s only 1-goal shy of 100 for us, I bring off Ivar for Wonderboy and Gudjohnsen on for Brandal. It doesn’t work as Tony Cascarino scores their 4th, Lund does get his second and Devine misses a late penalty and we finish with a 4-2 whimper!

Bristol win 1-0 but it’s not enough and we’re crowned Champions.

Albeit only on goal difference in the end….

It’s Beorma’s Ham who will be joining us in the Premier League after beating Mameceaster City in the playoff final. Oh and Everton are Crowned Premiership Champions!

Ivar gets the Div 1 top scorer for his goal scoring exploits and Joe Royle took the managers award so in a huff I didn’t take a screenshot, below are our scorers though. I’m chuffed with Lund’s return of 9 in 13 appearances.

Nokling calls it a day and I release the last 3 English players after them being on the transfer list all season and no one being interested. Due to our promotion and all of a sudden being classed as a “big team” I can activate the clauses in Svindal Larsen & Christer George’s contracts, both arriving for a total sum of £270k.

Chelsea put in a £3mil bid for Wonderboy, I was going to reject it until I went in the player exchange tab and this little gem was interested…..

He was signed by them early in the season but never made an appearence. £180k p/X Superb result! I’ve also got tabs on Michael Laudrup’s regen but he’s at Brondby so annoyingly doesn’t have a clause. Everyone’s favourite keeper regen has been found and there’s currently a bid in for him too. I’m trying to make my recruitments early as I know at any point the board are going to empty the coffers by increasing the ground capacity. Lo and behold…

Actually £2mil with change isn’t too bad. A Utd legend is also available so I might even look into that now with my promotion money still in tact.

Until next week, Morna!

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