Great Heathen Army: Part 10 – Finding our Feet | @Goatnmcl

Góðan dag fellow Heathens. After a struggled start last week we found ourselves languishing in the bottom half of the table, although there was only a handful of points between us and 4th place. We’d negotiated our way into the 3rd round of the league cup where we were drawn against fellow prem team Botheltun.

Hopefully we can settle down now and start making our way up the table. A nice cup run wouldn’t go amiss either.

Without further ado we travel into Mercia to take on Beorma’s Ham who sit just above us in 12th place. It’s Birmingham who take the lead against the run of play when Danny Murphy runs through and tucks away a blocked shot. The next goal is also scored by the home team. Unfortunately for them, Bowen has dropped a Bully by putting it into his own net. George puts us in front in the 59th and I decide to mess around with the shape a bit. I bring off Ivar for Leonhardsen and go with just 1 behind the front 2 and play two in the centre of midfield. Bye Andersen (CBA) relishes being moved to the left side and bags a 2-minute brace. 4-1, a great start to the week.

Fellow Mercians Deoraby travel up to the mighty Jorvik to exact revenge for their stricken neighbours. It’s a disastrous start as we concede in the 2nd minute of the game. We struggle to impose ourselves and it takes until half an hour has gone before we can muster any chances of our own. We start the second half much better and deserve our equaliser in the 56th min, expertly finished by CBA. Poom is having his usual immense game against me when he brings down Ivar in the box. He gets to go for an early bath and Ivar tucks away the resulting penalty. We pelt the Derby goal but sub keeper Hoult decides to take up where Poom left off and be a brick wall himself. CBA puts a bit of breathing space between us by grabbing his second and it’s a deserved 3-1 win (in the end).

We travel down the road to Loidis for our next game. This time it’s ourselves that get off to a flyer with CBA scoring in the 3rd minute. Petersen equalises for Leeds but parity only lasts a minute as CBA runs through straight from kick off and puts us back in front. George nets our 3rd five minutes later and scores again just before half time but it gets ruled out. The away side start much brighter in the second half and close the gap in the 53rd min thanks to a strike from Brolin. Both of Loidis’s Scandinavian players have gotten themselves on the scoresheet (are they trying to tell me something)? There are plenty of chances for both sides but the keepers both stand firm and it finishes 3-2.

League Cup 3rd round next and we entertain prem strugglers Botheltun. I decide to make 9 changes from the win at Leeds to give our second string another run out and keep them interested. I come to rue that decision as Bolton find some form and go in front in the 2nd minute through a strike from Kanchelskis. Hyslop scores their second in the 17th minute and we’ve got it all to do. We literally don’t offer anything until I bring on Molnar in the 62nd minute. We didn’t even muster a shot on target in the full 90 mins, absolutely pathetic! The board are just as disappointed as I am. I just hope this result doesn’t ruin our newly found league form!

So the last place I want to go to after that result is Upton Park, home of Straetforda. I never seem to get a result here and today is no different. A goaless first half is forgotten about when Hartson fires the home side in front right at the start of the second half. Hopefully that’ll spark us into life….but it doesn’t and we finish with a whimper. I’m regretting mixing up my team so much for the cup game now. I just don’t know why West Ham away is so difficult?

Monkceaster travel to Bootham Crescent next up and were our conquerors in the FA Cup Semi Final last year. Their quality is untold and it’s not a team you want to host on a 2-game losing streak. Bye Andersen wasn’t a part of our cup run last year and doesn’t bear any scars from it. Instead, he tears Newcastle a new one by scoring a 1 minute hat trick!!! We also manage to knacker Ryan Giggs in what was an amazing first half by the boys. We have all the chances in the second half too but cant finish any of them. Still, three goals and a clean sheet is nothing to be sniffed at. So much so that it’s classed as a “shock” result.

After our battles with the red half of the city last year, we now travel down to Sceaf to take on the blue half. CBA opens the scoring in the 6th minute and Molnar doubles it in the 11th. Ivar finally gets himself back on the scoresheet by netting our 3rd in the 20th min. Heiselberg pops up with a rare goal to take us into the break 4 goals up. Ivar proves that his goals are like buses when he scores his second and our fifth in the 51st min. Molnar also gets his second before receiving a red card for exuberant celebrations. We can’t hold on for a clean sheet as Humphries gets a 90th minute consolation for Wednesday.

Totta’s Ham make the trip up the county to test themselves against our hurly burly hoard of heathens. Unfortunately, the intro for this game was as exciting as it got. A dull 0-0 draw with Ian Walker getting Mom for saving all of our 8 shots on target. Taking a positive from the game…at least we kept a clean sheet.

Hopefully we can find our scoring boots on our away trip to Wunnemanndunne. Molnar is suspended for this one so Leonhardsen comes in & Tommy Svindal Larsen gets the nod now he’s back to full fitness in front of Half Dan. Gayle puts the Crazy Gang in front but CBA hits back almost immediately. Ivar and George score to put us 3-1 up at the break. The second half is a rather boring affair until it springs to life in the last 10 mins. Kovacevic scores in the 84th to close the gap. Maddison sees red in the 87th and Gorgeous George scores his second a minute later. Another great win on the road.

Next up we host current champions Eofor. We’re poor for the majority of the game and Everton deserve their lead following a strike from Herrlich. We don’t rouse ourselves until the 60th minute. I bring on Brandal for Molnar as he seems to have downed tools since he thinks he’s bigger than the club and want to move to a bigger one! Doesn’t he realise what we’re trying to achieve here??? Brandal repays my faith in him by scoring our equaliser in the 84th minute. I’ll take a draw after that performance.

Boxing Day arrives as do we, down to settle for the winter at Estone. Yorke scores against the run of play after it’s all us in the first half hour. TSL gets us level so we enter half time level pegging. CBA gives us the lead straight form the second half kick off. Villa come back strongly and equalise through Cappioli. We hit the post late on but cant find a winner. Ivar and Molnar have had stinkers but Hollund takes the MoM.

New Years Day and we entertain Prittleuulle in the FA Cup 3rd round. I make wholesale changes again as I’ve a few unhappy figures in the dressing room. I fear the worse when Southend peel away and score the opener in the 8th minute. Lund hits back straight from the kick off and Frandsen gets his first of the season in the 24th. Lund scores another 2 to complete a first half hat trick. He scores his 4th in the second half and we run our 5-1 winners. Typically it’s Premier League opposition in the next round as we’ll meet Estone (Villa).

Our trip to Ye Olde Trafforda goes as well as you’d expect. Paul Lambert turns into a prime Kenny Dalglish and waltzes through our defenders not once but twice to put Utd in a comfortable lead. Manjarin adds a third early in the second half. I bring on Frandsen in the 64th min and he immediately starts causing trouble. He assists CBA for our goal and hits the post himself. Another crap performance from Ivar is making me think that this is either a step up too far for him, he’s getting a bit old or that not playing an attacking midfielder behind to assist is not benefiting our strikers.

I’ve given Ivar the week off for the visit of Cofantreo and move Molnar in alongside Bye Andersen. Brandal joins George in behind the front two. Is this the magic combo we’ve been missing? Molnar scores to give us the lead in the 11th min and CBA gets our second a minute later. Brandal gets in on the act by scoring in the 38th min to give us a commanding 3-0 lead at half time. Molnar scores from a free kick to give us our 4th and that’s how it stays. Big Bjorn taking MoM and it’s revenge for our defeat earlier in the season.

Away at what feels like our arch nemesis now, Brycg Stowe Rovers. I make no changes to the side that beat Coventry in the last game. I honestly can’t remember the last time we beat Bristol…if indeed we even have? Bye Andersen exorcises those demons by scoring a hat trick without reply. Mullin gets a late consolation in the 81st minute. I bet we’ll have to go back 2 years to when we were both in Div 2 for when we last beat them?

FA Cup 4th round away at Estone. Molnar gets injured in training so Ivar comes back in for his first game in weeks. It’s a crazy start to the match as we take the lead 3 times only to be pegged back immediately each time. Ivar opened the scoring in the 6th min, Bullock equalising in the 16th. CBA puts us back in front in the 19th but Blackwell scores in the 24th. CBA gets his second the minute after but Collymore levels straight from kick off! It’s end to end in the second half and I feel there’s going to be a result one way or the other. Unfortunately Joachim breaks our hearts with the last kick of the game! Prick!

I’m not going to lie, that result has knocked the stuffing out of me! We deserved to win that game and to get bummed in the last minute is not very Viking at all! I’m going to leave it here for this week. We’ve been knocked out of both cup competitions so we can now solely concentrate on the league.

As you can see, we’ve managed to do well and move ourselves up into a comfortable 6th position. One more win and we should at least be guaranteed safety.

Hopefully without any cup distractions we can ensure we finish with European football next season and hopefully attract the next level of players to our club.

Until then, Morna!

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