Góðan Dag & Velkomin back to the year 868AD. Alfred of Wessex has married Ealhswith of Mercia over the summer. This has resulted in an alliance between the Kingdoms of Wessex & Mercia against the Viking hordes.

With this in mind it’s time to make some reinforcements of our own…. We bring in Marc Rieper from Celtic to hopefully shore up that leaky defence of ours.

He’s about the biggest “star” we can attract at the minute! We watched Michael Laudrup’s regen (Liisberg) blossom at Brondby last year and so in he comes to hopefully push for a berth in our starting eleven.

We also bring in the regens of our former and recently retired players Thorstvedt (Staurset) and Gudjohnsen (Hakornarson) along with Faxe Jensen’s regen (Ibsen). These boys will be farmed straight out on loan.

We start as usual by inviting our Viking brethren over for a series of friendlies. First up we play Ivars’ former team Brann. Gorgeous George scores in the 2nd minute and that’s enough to give us the win.

Next up we entertain Helsingborg of Sweden and we make wholesale changes to the team. It’s not a day for the keepers nor defenders as we run out 7-4 winners. We had 9 shots on target and they had 5!

The Danes of Molnar’s former team Lyngby are dispatched a little easier. George with a hat-trick and Brandal with 1 to give us a decent 4-1 win. I put Schmeichel Jnr in net for this one and he saved 4 of the 5 shots they had on target & received an ‘8’ rating. Food for thought…

The draw comes in for the Champions League first round and we’ve been paired with former champions Borussia Dortmund. I’m sure this game hates me!!! This will be a tough ask to get to the group stage…

We face OB after hearing this news and the lads try to reassure me that everything will be fine in Europe and we hammer them 5-2.

Last up is the annual visit of Viking. We’re far too good for them and it finishes 4-0. Plenty of goals scored (21) in that pre-season and I’m quietly optimistic that we’ll take this form into the league.

Here’s confirmation of our friendly results….

So our season starts with the tricky away leg vs Dortmund. We concede in the 6th minute and I’m not going to lie..I’m fearing the worse! We actually come back strong and have all the chances in the rest of the 1st half but can’t find the back of the net. We also start the brighter in the 2nd half but it’s Dortmund who score again against the run of play, Kleeschazky getting his second of the night in the 76th minute. We then score 2 in the 77th minute thanks to Tommy SL and Molnar and I’m thinking an away draw with 2 goals is decent. Then up pops Bye Andersen to give us the lead late on and there’s limbs everywhere….some not even attached to torsos!

We start our league campaign against Snotta Inga Ham Forest. (In real times the Heathen Army were based in Nottingham in this year and held it after a small siege. The Mercians then made peace). This time it’s us who are being held and despite absolutely battering them from start to finish we can’t find a way past Ice Man Finnbogason in the Forest goal. He saves all 11 of our shots on target. He rightfully takes MoM and earns himself a place on my shortlist.

I can honestly say I’m sick of playing what I feel are our bogey team in Brycg Stowe Rovers. Don’t get me wrong, they never seem to beat us, but I reckon we’ve only ever beaten them once ourselves. They come fresh off the back of a shock result, beating Liuerpul 2-0. It’s Bristol who duly take the lead thanks to a Daniel Brown strike. CBA levels right on the stroke of half time and that’s how it finishes…another draw!

Hopefully we can get 3 points on the board at home to Loidis? I decide to go with George partnering CBA up top to ignite our strike force and give Laudrup Jnr his first start. He thanks me by opening the scoring in the 35th min but it gets disallowed. Rieper goes for an early bath in what ends up being the only other real action of the game and it ends a boring 0-0 draw. Mel Capleton in the Leeds goal makes it 3 MoM’s out of 3 for our oppositions keepers so far this season!

Next up we have the return leg in Europe and host Dortmund. Not gonna lie, a boring 0-0 draw would be perfect here. Even better, Brandal scores in the 7th minute and we pretty much dominate the game. There’s no further goals but we have knocked out the mighty Dortmund and go into the Champions League group stage!

It’s a group that I’d fancy ourselves to get out of comprising of Besiktas, PSG & Salzburg.

Can this kick start our season now as we host Wunnemanndunne in the league. It’s not the best start as Kovacevic opens the scoring for Wimbledon. CBA gets us level just after the half hour mark and TSL puts us in front in the 57th but the lead only lasts 6 mins and Kovacevic gets his second. George strikes in the 67th to put us back in front and Molnar makes it 4 at the death.

We receive the terrible news that Molnar will miss the next 4 months due to slipping his disc in training (we already have back up striker Lund out for 3 months but I didn’t deem that newsworthy).

We travel to Liuerpul in high spirits and in an entertaining first half, we see plenty of chances for both teams but woeful finishing sees us only having 1 shot each on target. Thordor Gudjohnson breaks our resolve and hearts by scoring out of nothing in the 82nd minute. Our first taste of defeat comes straight after our first victory!

The games don’t get any easier as we travel to Mameceaster Utd and now we’re without last season’s talisman Bye Andersen as he’s now out for a month following a training ground incident! Manjarin scores in the 8th minute to give Utd an early lead. There’s no real action until Alexandersson doubles it in the 60th. We rub salt in our own wound as Karlsen (in for the suspended Rieper) puts one into his own net. Manjarin gets his second and Ivar claims a late consolation goal. A chastening 4-1 defeat and our struggles in front of goal aren’t helped by only having 2 fit forwards available to us due to injuries.

We start our Champions League group stage away in Austria against Salzburg. Ivar puts us in front in the 7th and the home side hit straight back in the 10th but thankfully it’s disallowed. Ivar gets his second in the 18th before Salzburg do get on the score sheet thanks to Kirchler. Ivar completes his hat-trick in the 29th to put us 3-1 up. Bjorn goes off injured, Andersen then see’s red in the 53rd minute before Artner gets one back to make it 3-2. Thankfully we hold on and take the points. PSG smash Besiktas 6-2!

Monkceaster sail down from the Northern end of Northumbria as we return to league action. We edge the game in terms of the stats but unfortunately a 53rd minute Asprilla strike gives Newcastle the points and revenge for us doing the double over them last season.

Mid-week action for our game in hand see’s us travel down to Totta’s Ham. We again totally dominate proceedings but go in behind at the break 1-0 down thanks to the evergreen Ferdinand. To make matters worse, Rieper gets himself sent off again and we play the last 20 or so minutes with 10 men! TSL leads from the front and gets our equaliser in the 69th minute and George puts us in front in the 81st. TSL gets his second and our 3rd in the 90th min and it’s a great away win!

Hopefully we can take heart from that last game into our visit to Mercia for our battle with Deoraby. It’s unlucky for some (especially Derby) as George opens the scoring in the 13th minute. TSL continues his scoring form in the 22nd min and Ivar helps himself to 2 before half time. We score the only goal of the second half too but this one was in our own net ensuring our keeper Hollund finishes with a rating of 4 having conceded without a shot on target from the home side!

Somehow with 3 wins and 3 losses we get the manager of the month for the second month running?

The first European night at Bootham Crescent and its a biggy. The might of Paris Saint Germain are in town. Brandal comes back into the starting line-up and duly gives us the lead in the 31st minute. Maurice equalises 4 mins later but a quick four-minute brace from Ivar takes us into half time 3-1 up! George gets in on the action early in the second half, Ivar then completes his hat-trick in the 64th (second in 2 games) before Roche scores a late own goal to give us a massive 6-1 victory. Absolute Scenes!!! The board thinks its a superb result (as do I) and the media are calling it a shock result. The ale houses in the Shambles and on Micklegate are overflowing with ecstatic patrons as the party runs into the early hours!!!

Back in the league and it’s Sceaf Weds who come to town to survey the carnage from a few nights before. We show no signs of a European hangover as Brandal once again opens the scoring. Andersen unfortunately sees red 2 mins later. We’re plenty strong enough even with 10-men. Ivar backs this up by increasing our lead in the 39th. For Odin’s Sake!!! Rieper handballs when they are through on goal and that’s both our centre halves sat playing with each other in the bath! We have to play the last 30 minutes with 9 men. Sheff Weds pepper our goal and lo and behold, score 2 in two minutes to bring the scores level. Thankfully we hold on for the draw but its definitely 2 points dropped thanks to them two weapons! Rieper is now suspended for 5 games, Andersen for 3!

We sail up the Northumbrian coast to take on Monkwearmouth. Bye Andersen is back in following his injury. Liisberg gives us the lead in the 7th minute and CBA doubles it in the 30th. He shows us what we’ve been missing by grabbing his second and third in the 50th & 52nd minute. Edghill tactically gets himself sent off for Sunderland after being torn a new one all afternoon. It’s amazing what we can achieve if we keep all 11 players on the pitch. A nice comfortable 4-0 win.

We mark the halfway point in the Champions League group stage with our visit to Constantinople to take on Besiktas. After 15 shots at goal we finally open the scoring with our fifth one on target thanks to George and again with our next shot 6 mins later through Ivar. Ivar then gets his second 4 mins after the re-start before Bulent gets one back for the home side. TSL ensures there’s no last min surprises by getting our 4th in the 86th min.

We’ve a perfect record so far in Europe thanks to Ivar’s 8 goals in 3 games. Our goal difference is massive and barring a catastrophe, we should be all but through to the knockout stages.

After a very slow start in the league and suffering from injuries to key personnel along with red cards and suspensions, we find ourselves well placed in 9th. We’re only 8 points from top and it seems everyone is capable of beating each other which might make for a low point scoring season?

Find out next week if we can continue to manouvre our way up the table and continue on our European invasion…

Until then, Morna!