Góðan Dag my heathen followers. Velkomin back to 871 where we are chasing a historic sextuple. Last time out we had retained both the World Club Cup and European Super Cup, managed to reach the final of the League Cup, had a Quarter Final replay in the FA Cup, in the Quarters of the Champions League and we’re sitting 3rd in the league but with a game in hand which could take us top.

Without further ado we’ve the second leg of the Champs League to contend with and a healthy 2-0 lead from the first leg. Bayern rarely threaten us until the second half, when they carve out a few chances. One of which gets buried into his own net by Nilsen. Thankfully it’s the only goal of the game and we go through 2-1 on aggregate.

It’s a replay of last seasons final as we draw Ajax in the semi final….

Next up is our League cup final down in Lundene at Wembley. On the way we decide to get ourselves in the mood for war by having battles at Reading, Ashdown & Basing. We were victorious at Reading, putting King Æthelred and Prince Alfred’s great army to slaughter. Four days later we meet them again at Ashdown. This time Æthelred and Alfred had split their army in two, forcing us to fight on 2 fronts. It worked for the Saxons as we were fighting both uphill on one front and through a muddy ravine on the other, causing us to suffer losses and retreat. We re-group and meet them again at Basing where we were once again victorious. Rumours circulate that Æthelred suffered a grievous wound in the fight.

On hearing of our followers heroics in battle, I tell the boys to ensure this is a battle of their own and even though it’s against Mamecunians, treat them as if they were men of Wessex and put them to the sword! Liisberg hears my cry as he gives us the lead from a rocket of a free kick. Utd then create chance after chance and I feel it’s only a matter of time before they get themselves back in it. Thankfully we reach half time with our lead in tact and I can get the boys in to gee them up for the second half. It falls on deaf ears as Utd continue to push for the equaliser and once again it’s the mini flame haired warrior Scholes who gets them even. We manage to come away on a rare counter attack and Phil Neville is helpless as CBA drifts past him and he brings him down. The ref points to the spot but the linesman is flagging. forty thousand heathens tell him to put his flag down and he breaks under pressure. Penalty given. CBA is the man to step up and he dispatches it with authority. It’s backs to the wall stuff for the last 10/15 mins but we hold out and it’s our third trophy of the season and finally a domestic cup ticked off in our pursuit of conquering the whole of England.

It makes a lovely change to win a smash and grab type of way instead of being on the receiving end of it.

Confirmation of our victory….

Just 3 days’ later we are sailing across the North Sea to take on the might of Ajax. As the team are shattered from their cup exploits, i decide to make a few changes as I’m going to need the whole squad over the coming weeks. It’s not helped when Bjorn (making a rare start) comes off in the 5th minute. In true eye for an eye style we ensure it’s honour’s even just 3 mins later when Rook gets stretchered off. Half Dan opens the scoring just before the half hour mark and CBA doubles it shortly before the break. It’s all us until the 64th minute when Wilsterman runs clean through and finishes past Jung to get the home side right back in it. We have slender 1-goal lead going into the home leg but hopefully them 2 away goals will come in handy.

Just 2 days’ later and we’ve our FA Cup replay against Beorma’s Ham. Fresh(er) legs see us score 2 goals in four minutes thanks to strikes from Neset in the 31st and Brandal in the 35th. Neset makes the game safe in the 56th minute and Ndlovu’s strike in the 86th min is just a mere consolation for Birmingham.

Our 4th game in 8 days is the semi final against Monkceaster. Our tiny squad is on its haunches but they know what this means to us and so drag themselves onto the pitch and give it their all. A 41st minute Molnar strike is the only thing that separates the 2 teams as both went toe to toe but wayward finishing was the order of the day. Giggs, Denilson and Asprilla were a constant threat but thankfully had no end product. A win is a win though and we’re in the final.

Where we’ll meet Brycg Stowe Rovers….

I give the lads Monday and Tuesday off to help them recover. 19th placed Blacheborne visit the Fortress Bootham next up in a game which I fancy our chances taking all 3 points from. Blackburn have other ideas and after taking out George in the 21st minute, they go and take the lead through Andersson in the 59th. Heiselberg equalises following a melee in the box from a corner and Molnar scores 5 mins later but unfortunately the latter gets chalked off. It’s a poor result and the board tell me so.

Staying at home for the visit of Eofor and it’s the visitors who take an early lead thanks to Henrik Larsson scoring in the 9th minute. We have to wait until half way through the second half before we manage anything of note, the TSL and Neset turn the game on it’s head by scoring in the 71st & 73rd minutes. Everton have no reply and we take the win.

Monday night football time as we sail up the coast to take on Monkceaster. Unlucky for Newcastle as CBA opens the scoring in the 13th minute. Eidur Gudjohnsen equalises in the 39th and the home side continue to put us under pressure for the rest of the half. We’re out of the traps faster in the second half and Leonhardsen puts us back in front in the 57th. The only other item of note is Barthez going off injured in the 90th minute following “a burst of speed”.

Just 2 days later and it’s the return leg of the Champions League semi final. We hold a slender lead from the first leg but it’s wiped away in the 13th minute when Wilsterman scores. We’re behind even further when Babangida strikes in the 22nd minute. It’s game over when Mpenza scores the third making it 4-2 on aggregate and we’ve no reply. A step too far this time and that’s the dream of the sextuple gone. Looks like we’re down to a quintuple.

News has come to the North that Æthelred has finally succumbed to his injuries and died & Alfred has succeeded the throne of Wessex. The boys rejoice and it gives them a new lease of life against Cynsigestun. CBA dispatches an early penalty and doubles the lead in the 22nd minute. Brandal makes it 3 in a superb opening half hour or so. QPR have no reply and we can’t add to our lead. 3 goals and 3 points is nothing to be sniffed at though. Another marker is put down as this result puts us back on top, albeit on goal difference.

We’re in Mercia next for our game with 3rd placed Estone. It’s a fairly open first half with a few chances for both teams but somehow we enter the break all level at 0-0. Brandal gives us the lead early in the second half and we score second a couple of minutes later which gets ruled out for off side. That seems to wake the Villa beast and it’s all the home team from there on out. It was only a matter of time before Yorke gets his customary goal against us. Thankfully he doesn’t score any more and we take away a hard earned point.

How does Weller take the MoM award when Jung saved over twice as many shots?

With the games coming thick and fast and with me messing up bringing back Gudjohnsen Jnr and Faxe Jensen Jnr from loan (i recalled them on transfer deadline day but there must be a glitch as I get news every day that their loan has ended but they never come back). So the last thing I need is Neset missing the rest of the season after tearing his hammy!

Back at home for the visit of Cofantreo. They have provided tough opposition the last few times we’ve played and this time proves no different. A tight first half of few chances literally flies by. The second half doesn’t fare much better until Molnar scores in the 67th minute to give us the lead. Unfortunately the ref has other ideas and disallows it. To rub salt in the wound Coventry literally go straight up the other end and Nicholls slots past Jung to give the away side the lead. We throw the kitchen sink at them and finally CBA rescues a point in the 85th minute. Thankfully Estone and Uuluuich both drop points too to keep us in the running.

Bottom of the league Aldehulme are our hosts and we’re in desperate need of a victory to remain at the top of the league. Molnar starts the job in the 14th and again in the 22nd but for the 3rd game in a row we have it disallowed!!! I hope it doesn’t cost us like it has the last 2 games….. which of course it does as Oldham equalise in the 56th min through Cox and then take the lead in the 68th thanks to the legend of Voro. It takes another late CBA strike for us to take something from the game but it’s an abysmal result to be honest and one which sees us drop into second.

Our final home game of the season has Monkwearmouth sailing down the coast. This is must win territory for us now and it’s once again that man CBA who opens the scoring in the 17th minute. Sunderland are in worse form than us at the minute and dont even muster a shot on target for the whole game. The solitary Bye Andersen goal being the difference and a massive 3 points. Both Estone and Uuluuich lose!

The penultimate game of the season sees us a point ahead with a game in hand. Win tonight and we’ve won the league with a game to spare. Naturally Rieper gets his old legs in a mix up and the ball goes in to give Deoraby the lead. We huff and puff but can’t create anything of substance. Paulo Bento doubles Derby’s lead in the 76th to put the nail in the coffin. Soma gets a late consolation for his first goal for the club.

Meaning it all goes down to the final day. We’re 1 point in front so a win and we’re guaranteed to defend our crown and win consecutive league titles.

Liisberg gets us up and running in the 32nd minute to the jubilation of the away crowd. It’s silenced soon after when Lennon levels just 2 minutes later. Brandal to the rescue as the man who tends to score plenty of important goals does so once again by putting us back in the lead with a strike on the half hour. Leicester push for the equaliser and it’s squeaky bum time for the remaining 30 mins or so. We hold on though and the title is ours once again.

Things you love to see….

Arsenal (Uuluuich) won too so nothing less than a victory would’ve done. Aston Villa (Estone) fell away a bit in the end but it was a 3 horse race between us pretty much the whole season.

The final piece of the jigsaw…. FA Cup Final at Wembley against perennial opposition Brycg Stowe Rovers. The only team that we’ve played against in every season of our journey. Should it be apt that if we beat them today, we’ll complete our quest and will have conquered the whole of England?

Onto the game and it couldn’t have really been a worse start… Connolly runs through and coolly slots home in the 8th minute to give Bristol the lead. We can’t get a foothold in the game and Connolly goes close twice again in the first half. We’re on the ropes and I’m desperate to get them in for a half time bollocking! My voice must’ve still been ringing in their ears when they went back out for the second half as Molnar levels straight from kick off. Liisberg scores a screamer of a free kick to put us in the lead in the 63rd min and Ronny Johnsen rolls back the years with a towering header from a corner in the 72nd. We’re in total control now and as the game winds to a close I bring on Ivar in the 89th min for a farewell cheer from the crowd. This seems to kick off a chain reaction where we lose Haaland to injury and then TSL gets sent off for a straight red, both occurrences happening just a minute later. The final whistle then blows and we’ve a new trophy to add to our already burgeoning cabinet. We completed the Quintuple…

gotta love a confirmation screen….

Christer George finishes atop the ratings pile this year with Haaland not too far behind. Hakornarson, Staurset and Ibsen’s rating can be ignored as they were on loan. CBA and Molnar with the majority of the goals and Neset, George and Brandal weighing in with double figures.

In 6 seasons we managed to navigate our way up through the divisions to win the Premier League twice…

The league Cup once…

The FA Cup once…

The Champions League twice…

The European Super Cup twice…

And the World Club Cup twice…

We do well at the end of season awards, Molnar picking up the Football Writers Trophy, Roger Soma picks up the PFA Young Player, CBA gets the Prem Top Scorer and I take home the Prem Manager Trophy. Former player Andreas Lund takes the Div 1 Goal Scorer with 26 goals.

Ivar travelled over as head of the Great Heathen Army and now that England has been conquered, decides to put his feet up and live on his new Wessex homestead…

I add Blomqvist to the ranks for shits and giggles….

The initial plan was to achieve what the original army never managed and that was to take over the whole of England within a 13 year timespan. This was by winning the Premier League and both the League and FA Cups. We’ve managed to do this in just 6 short years, winning the Champions League, Euro Super Cup and World Club Cup twice on the way too. I guess you could say “fullkominn þat félagi” (completed it mate)…

However there’s still an itch I need to scratch…. we failed in our only attempt in the Charity Shield and there’s the matter of international recognition.

Join us next time when I hope to complete the set and see if we can take a Scandinavian Nation to Euro/World Cup Glory.

Until then, Morna!