Happy weekend readers, lets get you into the Saturday spirit by visiting Rio de Tyneside.

We’re not doing too well in the league, and we’re out of the League Cup, but we have eyes on european progress. We may live to rue that Badriano penalty miss.

We’ll need to get something from our return visit to Seville or hope Milan do us a favour

Dispite not living up to our reputation as league champions, we turn some heads, but IO’m too much of a Gent to jump ship.

United will have to get someone else to take them down to Division One, I need to get three points from QPR. Mendez and Badriano are gelling nicely upfront.

This would never happen in real life.

With all that manager swapping going on, we carry on – Mendez and Badriano at it again, long may it continue.

A win against Sevilla gives us big hopes of reaching the later stages. Fidel takes over from an aging Rivaldo in midfield and shows his worth.

This is possibly even more bizarre than Roy Evans going to United.

They must see something in Gerry.

I may be worrying a bit more about my own position soon if we keep slipping further behind in the league campaign.

In what is defintely not a knee jerk reation to not scoring against Arsenal, I sign Marcelo Salas.

He has an impressive debut too.

He’s not eligible for european games, but FC Croatia aren’t all that. Don’t name yourself after your own country if you aren’t going to put up a fight.

Elsewhere Milan do us a huge favour to leave no doubts about qualification

Nantes it is.

Another draw is made, as we’re quietly managing Brazil in the background. It’s looking a bit ‘group of death’.

Thoughts of European and World glory have to take a backseat as Everton rout us to remind me that it seems impossible to keep this team on an even keel.

Palace do us to at our ground. All very well getting man of the match. Not even Salas can save us.

Newcastle old boy, and Gustavo Mendez’s ‘dad’ gets the heave ho from Harriers. Division 3 not too easy for that Uruguayan maestro.

FA Cup time comes around and we’re up against another ex-player in Jardel. He supplies the bullets for compadre Drummond and we’ll take them on again soon.

Looks like I’m not missing out on much….

We equalise, we take the lead. We drop points to Rupert and Ricky.

FA Cup replay time and Esnaider is back from injury and ready to show us what we’ve missed.

A complicated algorithm is set in motion to determine our next opponents.

Not really, they just choose who you have next in the league.

We prevail in this encounter

But its a different story in the fa cup, which realistically leaves Europe as our only chance of success this season.

A legend leaves our ranks – maybe he’s trying to get closer to Europe.

This is very good news.

The next day, we find a suitable replacement for Leonardo.

Ipswich feel our wrath from the FA Cup disappointment. Old boy Brayson had them off to a flyer.

Man of the Match – no points

We’re so inconsistent, it’s painful

Forgotten man Ortega gets a rare run out and we make it two wins in a row. Does it help?

Hmm, not really – 11 points adrift and having played two games more – its a big gap to close and Leeds are no mugs.

Another up and down installment – hopefully we can find some form for the season run in – see you then.