The Goald Testament Book 2: Genesis – Part 2 | GaryGoals

A little pause for reflection. Please don’t get me wrong – Gary Goals doesn’t listen to the High Performance podcast, and considers Jake Humphrey a complete twerp – but sometimes a little look in the mirror pays dividends.

We’re playing All Out Attack – a cartoon of a formation – and we’ve played 8, won 8 in the league. We’ve only lost to Rangers this season, and even then their keeper got Man of the Match. If we can keep the boys on track, we’re pioneering a new way to play football. If you asked the people of Montrose to name three great football managers, they wouldn’t say Ferguson, Dalglish, Ancelotti…. they’d say Michels, Wenger, Guardiola….. Goals.

We’ve lost our starting centre midfielder and our top scorer from Season One to the big-club release clause, but neither was in the true top tier of our key players, so it’s time to lift the lads and carry on the only way we know – all guns blazing.

Ma Twiss raised some boy alright, some boy. A hat-trick from the FL position.

One of our remaining weaknesses is Lawrie at FR – not many people want to join us, but Yuriy’s a free spirit and we’ll have a chat.

And our other main weakness was Forrester at MR. Paulo represents a record outlay, but I’m confident it’s a good investment given his premium pedigree.

And just like that, the Auld Enemy sink our perfect season once more. Inauspicious start for Paulo, but he’s filled in a CM due to an injury, and I’m still confident he’ll do the biz.

Doesn’t have quite the same shine.

Shelf is creaking.

Another extra-time win in the Cup. We’re clutch, and Lawrie’s desperate to show me we don’t need this Shukanov character.

We buy Yuriy anyway.

Back on the Ws, and Shukanov kicks off with a goal.

This lad’s coming in to replace Mainwaring at centre forward, and free Twissy up to move back out to the left – it’s bit of a roll of the dice, but let’s see if we get a big Icelandic six.

Downtown is finally off.

TnT blowing Ayr’s defence to bits, or something. Steve Kerrigan always scores against us.

Gower signs on the dotted line, and we’re starting to put a squad together.

Routine win, and Gattuso’s making his presence felt with Gower hovering in the wings.

Shit. Are they big enough to trigger the clause?

Get it up ye Curbishley.

Bjarni and Mark are looking promising as I ease them into action.

Another couple from Iceland, and we’re hardly missing Mainwaring now.

A first trophy in the cabinet! Comfortable win and the 20,000 fans are suitably wowed.

This lad is a good signing, surprised but delighted he’s willing to drop to the Scottish third tier. We’ll likely lose him to a much bigger club at some point soon, but I’m willing to take the heartbreak if it gets us where we need to go.

Our defence is so much better this season – Shakey’s conceding less than a goal a game, even after leaking 3 on the opening day. 5 of those 12 have come from Ayr.

Stirling can’t handle our hot hot heat.

Stenhousemuir run us a little closer, but Shakey keeps out a pen and Twissy seals it late on.

Revenge is sweet. 0-0 with 20 mins to go, but our front four is rippling with quality at this level.

Steady win at Palmerston Park keeps the train rolling.

This should make my path to the cups easier at least.

That watertight defence I was just bragging about has sprung a leak against freescoring Ayr, but another emphatic win.

Wasn’t expecting Rino to be chipping in at anything like this rate.

This is a blow. It will mean Twissy being pulled back into the middle, and a sub-standard Wilde being drafted in.

Hmm, maybe that was a hasty assessment. G-Tom again banging them in.

Ouch. There are a few English teams interested now, and this looks like a problem.

Rejecting an offer from another team prompts Ipswich to up their bid. There’s nothing I can do but hope he fails to agree terms.

Farewell, sweet prince. We’re sitting at 19-0-1 in the league and somehow I’m still sad. So this is what it feels like when Goals cries.

We’ll be back next week to address this mini-crisis, find the second best FL in the land to fill these huge boots, and to continue our quest for a record points haul.

Leave a Reply