Welcome to the final instalment of the AI-power Lamas odyssey. Can Diogo and Miguel sign off in style?
We start well by taking down the Chaves away from home. Big Willy V still doing the business!
Porto are simply too good for our cash-stricken corkers.
More worryingly, as are Estrela!
Miguel is still desperate to sign Deon Burton. Lord knows why. The board put him in his place with a £400 a week contract offer. No bueno.
Miguel is cheered up by a Pie Daddy winner against bottom place Leca.
We’re then brought down to earth by back to back defeats.
However, we then see some positivity in a relegation six pointer. Maritimo may have knocked us out of the cup, but we shut them out in league action!
The scholarly Academica teach us another lesson next up. Detention for all the Lamas, apart from Willy V who grabs us a consolation.
Sunderland sneak in to grab our right back Hatef, not a huge loss as he was pretty average. Enjoy Northern England!
An early injury to our Southall-regen keeper means a stint in goal for Hagi. He may be a Romanian wizard, but a goalie he is not.
Next up we almost hang on to an Asenal-esque 1-0 win, but a late equaliser by ten men is PAIN.
With just six games to go we are 1 point above relegation. Tighter than our board’s wage offerings.
When you’re in a relegation scrap the last thing you need is a giant club visiting. Sporting sneak the three points despite a decent showing.
A huge win follows against relegation rivals, and possible Norwegians, Braga. Solicitor Festus ensures we take home all three points, guilty of a big win your honour!
Benfica are naturally too good, and we remain on the relegation tightrope.
At the most inopportune time both of our CDMs fall injured. It shows as we’re hammered away from home in the penultimate match.
However Braga lose too so it is in our hands! We go into the final day knowing victory means safety.
We have the fixture advantage! We’re at home as both rivals are away at top half sides.
Felguireas get hammered.
Thanks to Weah regen Roberts Braga only get a point.
They have us on goal difference so we now need a point! Here are the last day warriors.
It’s all too much for Pie Daddy as he sees red. Relegated. Gutted.
It has been one hell of a ride. Manuel and Diogo resign following the last day defeat. Human and AI took their time to get the Lamas up, and ultimately couldn’t keep them in the top flight. But what a journey!
Epilogue
Out of curiosity I left the game running for a few years to see how the Lamas progress. When I returned in January 2005 the squad was, well, gone. But where to?
The Southall regen keeper took a trip around Portugal, before ending up at Aberdeen.
Sasi Kumar thought he was destined for greatness. But ended up still in the second division with Branco, and only one Singapore cap.
Mexican midfielder Solis went home, via a bizarre loan at Norwegian side Bodo-Glimt.
The Pie Daddy remained in the second flight, never really achieving the success he had with Lamas again.
But what of the club itself. Well, the Lamas suffered back-to-back relegations. They found themselves going from AI-inspired top flight football to Portuguese non-league anonymity in just 12 months. But at least they still had Noah Hickey, our Kiwi legend.
We’ll let Miguel finish off the story with one of his trusty poems. Adios AI.
