Bonjour and welcome! You join us fresh off the back of our best season to date, as we finished fourth, and secured European football for the first time. However, a pathetic £325k prize money won’t even take the bank balance out of the red, and once again there’s no cash injection, so I’ll spend yet another summer rummaging in the bargain bin…

Rafa Alkorta’s regen is an excellent start. Rafa himself lasted all seven seasons in the original Basque Boys, but to my benefit, he’s retired after four this time…

I need some cover at left back, so in comes this guy, who’s retrospective ratings look good, even if age isn’t on his side…

Finally, providing some much-needed central midfield cover is one-day Watford and Leeds manager, Javi Gracia, who goes by the name of Xabi in this game…

I also tried for Didier Deschamps following his release by Juventus, but he opted for a return to Marseille, and who can blame him?

The balls drop for the League Cup draw, and we’re handed Lyon, which could be worse…

Our maiden European voyage begins against Lithuanian opposition…

Here’s the usual chunk of loans…

Jean Tigana’s stint as Spain manager is over. I bet he wishes he stayed at Monaco now…

Here’s how the squad is looking. I like 26 as a number, not too big or small…

We begin with the first leg with Paneris. It takes us ages to get going, but we just about manage a win. Let’s hope those two away goals don’t come back to bite us…

That’s my second choice keeper. Time to find some backup backup…

In comes the only Basque keeper available on loan…

Just as we did last season, we open our league campaign against Lyon, and it’s a solid start…

Newly-promoted Laval are next, and despite allowing them back in it with a penalty, Calle’s second goal makes sure…

Toledo recall Lekue after one game, which is a p*ss-take seeing that they’re the West Ham of Spain, with six keepers on their books…

Anyway, once again we’re slow to get going in the second leg with Paneris, but eventually get the job done, earning £250k and a trip to Portugal…

Having exhausted all the Caen and Caen’t puns, I’ll spare you this time and just say it’s a stalemate…

Belenenses try some underhand tactics by trying to unsettle Pascual ahead of our UEFA Cup clash…

We lead Guingamp, who roar back into it through Lion, but Calle seals what seems a good win considering I can’t remember when we last beat them…

Back to Europe, where we’re ahead, but they strike back through a big purple dinosaur, and it remains that way for the rest of the match. An away goal certainly helps…

Salinas Jr starts against rock bottom Nimes, and doesn’t disappoint, while Leighton gifts them a late goal to make it look closer than it actually was…

Things aren’t going well at Metz, but Diaz comes on to assist two goals to complete the comeback…

We must be doing ok if Auxerre want me, but I’ve got a job to do here, thanks…

The second leg with Belenenses looks set for extra time, but Urzaiz strikes late to send us through, where we’ll face a tough test in Espanyol…

It’s end to end stuff against Lyon in the cup, and we ride our luck at times, but a solitary Kaiku goal is enough, and everything comes up Mulhouse in the draw…

Nothing out of the ordinary against Marseille, just the usual drubbing…

Monaco however, are still crap, which suits us, and the board still think it’s a superb result, so everyone’s a winner…

The fact that Espanyol are 15th in La Liga gives me confidence, but the first leg is a disaster, which we’ll do well to come back from…

The bad news continues as ACG is out for six weeks, thank god for Gracia…

It’s a Desmond at Lens, which on balance of chances, is probably fair, but we’re lucky they have a goal disallowed…

It’s the same result at home to Strasbourg, with Pascal Nouma up to his old tricks as we make it three games without a win…

We get the four goals we need to overturn the tie with Espanyol, but the only problem is that they score five, and that’s Europe done…

Calle finally breaks the winless streak away at Bastia…

It’s plain sailing in the League Cup against Mulhouse thanks to a Salinas Jr brace, and we’re into the quarter-finals to face Bastia…

After going behind to an early Nantes penalty, we get it together to make it three wins on the spin…

And then it all goes t*ts up against Montpellier, a result made more disappointing by the fact that we have a man advantage for most of the second half…

More dropped points are on the cards against 16th-placed Nancy, until a late show spares our blushes…

We’re trailing Bastia in the League Cup, until Kaiku comes on to level things up, and then we scrape it on pens to face Auxerre in the semi-finals…

Speaking of Auxerre, they’re floundering in 14th, and even after they have a man sent off, we still can’t score, as Charbonnier single-handedly earns them a point…

It’ll be Le Havre in the main cup…

Bordeaux are walking the league again, and even at 2-0 up, I worry our goals have come too early, but we keep at it, and double our lead by the time they score, and defend resolutely for the remainder to secure our first win against them. Finally!!!

A superb result according to the board, and worthy of a shock defeat headline…

Last up this week are PSG, and I have no words, no f*cking words at all…

That result makes little difference, other than we’re nine points behind Bordeaux instead of eight, but to be second at halfway is good…

As always, I hope you’ve enjoyed the ride. We’re starting to look not far off challenging for the title now, but will we be there or thereabouts come the end of the season? Find out next week. Au Revoir!