Hello and welcome back to Germany where my Cologne cup winners are entering season 5 and probably the final season for me on this Blogsquad Secret Santa odyssey. A reminder of my self imposed rules – i can only sign German players and those from countries that border Germany, but only one each from France, Belgium and Holland. The issue all along is that my team is quite crap and German players in general are crap in this save, which means in four seasons we have achieved:

1 Pokal Cup win

1 Pokal Cup runners up spot

1 Bundesliga runners up spot

It’s been so crap, Dirk Schuster has had enough

Also out the door is Chris de Witte, he started brightly but lost form last season so I can try and invest some money in a different Belgian player

That will be someone younger though as I nab this Belgian striker who looks promising. well, just as long as he shoots instead of passing…

Ulrik is out of the door too, he likewise started brightly but the goals dried up and this will mean I can add some Danish defensive cover to my squad

Hmm, maybe selling Balling wasn’t the greatest idea. Out of the Liga Cup already and I’ll never get my hands on that one.

So, in comes the Schmeichel regen – can he hit the ground running or will it be a case of being a bigger fraud than Oliver Kahn?

Also off in a busy transfer window is Papins regen. He missed a penalty in the Liga Cup semi-final, not that I bear grudges or anything

And this dude goes out the door, who was more The Postman than The Bodyguard.

These promising youngsters join the ranks to freshen up the squad

I’m very much intending to put my faith in youth and new faces this season.

Hmm, it may be misplaced faith

Or maybe not, as we squeeze past Karlsruhe

The defence of the Pokal Cup gets off to a truly bizarre start

Old man Bierhoff shows their is sensibility in experience with five goals on two games

A Dutch fraud leaves our ranks. To be fair though, the wingback role hardly ever brings high average ratings.

Our return to European action should be gentle in Latvia – I hope.

I’m sticking by the youngsters but it may cost me my job. where’s my Alan Hansen meme?

This is bullshit….

Embarrassing….

Pathetic…

Back to basics with Bierhoff leading the charge. When you’re relying on a 33 year old striker it’s never really a good sign.

Even at this early stage, I think we can confidently say, we’re not in a title race. Interestingly, all the scorers are German.

Our trip to Riga is a little more entertaining than the first leg at home, with everything thing happening in three crazy minutes in the second half. Got there in the end.

My young left wingback Perry Martin makes the difference against David Dusseldorf.

However, we fall apart against Hamburg, despite a very bright start. Maybe I should have kept faith with Kahn a little longer…..?

Another narrow win at home – the Cologne faithful must be giddy with excitement on days like these…..

Aab are next up in Europe, and this result makes progression look likely but this sort of confident talk can always backfire on me! Still, Matthyssen is getting some goals in.

Progression in the Pokal Cup too. Maybe we’re a cup team these days, like Man United in the 80’s (or post Fergie). Maybe that will be enough for us…

Bollocks

Well, we’ll keep plugging away in the league, if only to show face now!

Lets leave it there for this week and have a look at the table….

Well, there you have it, won 6 and lost 6. 17 points adrift and aimless in 12th. Ok, we have a game or two in hand, but I’d rather have the points to be honest.

Anyway, join me next week for more inconsistent drivel, if you dare!