Hello! Welcome back. Here we are, Sunday again. International football update – two weeks down, club football returns next weekend. Light at the end of the tunnel before abject misery again. Some weeks. There’s the occasional high, watch this space. Anyway, back in CM9798 it’s CHRISTMAS (not now Noddy) of 2001. All three of our sides are in the upper echelons of their league, could this be the year we get more than one team into the Champions League? Don’t bet on it. Let’s remind ourselves of the tables before we head to Selhurst Park for Boxing Day fun.

With the French and Dutch leagues on their winter break, early focus today is on Palace, Palace, who the f*ck are Palace? Not now Roy. This is a big game for this time of the season and we are found wanting. We’re just not ruthless.

We make hard work of Leicester a few days later but at least it’s a win. Phil Babb is sent off which is presumably better than that year he starred in the nut cracker.

Anyway, I want to spice things up at the top end of the pitch and what better way than to sign Zinedine Zidane? He’s 29 going on 30 but who cares.

He scores on debut but it’s Bakayoko who grabs the headlines with a quickfire hat-trick. We eventually win 4-3 in an exciting FA Cup 3rd round encounter.

Ledezma goes one better, quite literally, with a five minute hat-trick and four in total. That puts one hand on the European Super Cup, and isn’t that what it’s all about?

Nice are back in action against former champions Metz, taking a credible 2-2 draw on the road.

Zidane has definitely pepped the Eagles up. Liverpool are bludgeoned by our new found ruthlessness.

Welcome back to our Dutch Eagles too, nearly blowing a 3-0 lead against Sparta Rotterdam but fundamentally hanging on.

Pints Cup brings us more joy.

And then much misery.

It’s not great for Palace either, a bad day for balls being drawn out of bags across the continent.

I was able to rotate the whole squad for this one so the defeat is utterly meaningless as our four goal lead never looked in trouble. European Super Cup Champions, what a time.

Nice also enjoy sup success, booking a spot in the last 16.

That’s nasty too. Howay man.

Rough times for Go Ahead as Prunea picks a bad time to play like he has no hands. He has been a hero for us in all honesty but I worry the end is nigh for his time at the top level.

2-0 down, 4-2 up, Timour Kestbaia wrapped it up. An absolutely chaotic day but it’s what we do.

A classic Champing for Palace. The only surprise is that Villa didn’t win 1-0.

Further evidence that Prunea is a problem. A 3-0 lead is extinguished but luckily Wilmot responds before everybody loses their mind. A narrow but vital win.

I’ve put Betterton in goal, who’s somehow still playing for England Under 21s. He’s barely featured for 5 years. A clean sheet though including a nervy second half a man down.

It’s a big FA Cup game away at Leeds but the boys put in a great performance. Zidane has generally helped, which should come as no surprise.

The Go Ahead Eagles are having a great time still. This win puts us second in the table, the qualification dream lives on.

Nice are also going wonderfully well. Zamorano is banned for this one but the ultimate 12th man Robert Dunn comes in and scores the winner.

Deadline day and Nice snap up a left wingback. It can’t hurt.

It’s 2nd vs 1st at Old Trafford and again, the boys are putting on a great performance when the chips are down. Sometimes I think we just can’t be bothered with the less fancy days out, but this is a huge game and thus we win 1-0.

Nice though, I run out of superlatives. I’ve been very down with this lot, thought they would be midtable forever. But now, here we are going to Bordeaux and winning with 10 men. Absolutely incredible.

Finally, a good draw. That should be us in the semis.

Sadly, Go Ahead’s journey in the Pints Cup is over. We lead the mighty Ajax 2-0 but ultimately Johan Cruyff brings on his son to score and force extra time. We push hard for a winner, but Oliver Kahn is in inspired form.

A rough week for Go Ahead ends with defeat at Groningen. Holtz and Mols sounds like a Dutch detective duo. Sadly they have found us out.

As it stands, we are second. Champions League qualification is just 9 days away.

The squad is preparing for Betis in the UEFA Cup and as usual it’s stuck together with tape and blu tack but it’s working. Somehow. The Dutch Window is closed now but I was having to utilise Palace outbidding many European teams for the big club release superstars such as Golsteyn, Wiebenga, Van der Sleen and Wilmot.

Palace are loving it, 4 points ahead at the top having dished out Man Utd’s only defeat of the season.

The squad is still heavy on loans but not as stretched as last season yet. Champions League up next.

Nice are pressuring Marseille too, with a bit of a cushion to 3rd place. Could we do it? We have a great chance of all three being in Europe’s elite competition next season.

The squad is just fairly balanced. How we’ve achieved anything with these centre halves if anybody’s guess. Arnau has a cap for Spain and is an absolute hero but won’t sign a new contract. Valencia also won’t sign a new contract, both want a move to a bigger club. We’ll see.

That sets us up nicely for the finale to the season next week. Loads to play for and who knows, maybe the best season ever if everybody qualifies.

I’ll leave you with this screenshot. It’s impossible to comment on only one thing…have at it.

Thanks for reading and I’ll speak to you again next week.