Never go back?

What are we doing here? We’ve only bloody well caught up to the current season. Unsurpisingly, the game doesn’t have mystic powers and very few of this saves happenings can be compared to the real world. Wait until you see how the table is looking! But of course, some things never change, and there’s a new manager in the hotseat over in Madrid. Come with me to the not so distant past…

We’ll start in Spain because I have bigged it up in the intro. Remember when Real Madrid were relegated to the Segunda? Well, in a rare act of patience, the Real Madrid board stuck with their manager all summer. Then sacked him 2 games in.

RM league position

No goals in 2 games? Sack.

Real Madrid manager sacked

Now, allow me a tangent here. Things haven’t been going great for David Unsworth at Sheff Wed, so he’s sacked.

unsworth sacked

Unsworth is, of course, the former Spanish national team manager which to Florentino Perez (or his fictional equivalent) means box office appointment. Welcome, Senor Unsworth

real madrid appoint unsworth

Yep. It’s improved quite a bit over the 10 games, but they still have the indignity of being below Barcelona’s B team.

real madrid league

Back home, my stadium has been expanded.

bigger stadium

It’s nearly at the 52,000 SJP houses today but it is about 15 years later than planned. Mind you, Newcastle have been down to the 4th tier in that time, so we’ll let them off.

In all truth, we haven’t made as much progress as I would like. We still can’t defend and it’s our achilles heel – old habits die hard it would seem. The league table doesn’t make great reading, as you’ll see later on.

Charity Shield kicks off the season, and it’s a Merseyside derby!

CS 15

Great. For all the players are non-entities to all but the most avid of followers, fortunately the managers are creating the headlines. Remember when Unsworth got sacked earlier?

robson to sheff wed

Yes, Robson’s done a U Turn. It’s an odd move, given how good Darlington are.

robson career

Well, he is a former England captain so we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. I’m sure he knows what he is doing.

That does leave a vacancy at one of England’s dominant clubs…

darlo offer job

It is tempting…but I need to finish the job here. One day I’ll be back, Darlington. Darlington opt for Kieron “122 Caps for England” Dyer instead

dyer to darlo

Wonders never cease. Another England legend is in managerial news too

west ham sack beckham

West Ham are keen not to waste loads of “DB” branded training clobber, so they’re straight on the phone

west ham job offer

What is going on? The Hammers are marooned in the First Division, so that’s not going to happen. Thanks anyway.

FA Cup managerial genius Steve Gritt is on the dole

hull sack gritt

Hull appoint Nicky Barmby – is my mind deceiving me, or did this actually happen at some stage?

barmby to hull

One last bit of managerial news, Sampdoria are currently the team to beat, but their manager has retired. They’ve moved for Milan’s boss to keep them going

sampdoria appoint rossi

Which brings us nicely back round to the theme of today’s post – look who’s back at the San Siro

ancelotti milan

With that, you’re up to date. Here’s the Premier League table:

prem top nov 15

It’s upside down! Aston Villa, under the guidance of Northern Ireland stalwart Damien Johnson, are the unlikely leaders. Alvin Martin’s Chelsea are in hot pursuit.

prem bottom nov 15

We’re doing better than this stage last season, and indeed better than Newcastle in the real world. So these are positives I can cling to. We just can’t defend. Bryan Robson must regret his decision to return to Sheff Wed at the moment, given how well Dyer is going at Darlington. Le Tissier has been relegated with Arsenal before, and it may well happen again at this rate. He has won a Premier League with them too, mind.

So that’s it, in the next update we’ll be perilously close to the present day. I’m expecting some sort of Back to the Future scenario where me and Gerry Francis need to repair time in order to return, but we’ll see. Gerry is trying to qualify for Euro 2016, so I won’t disturb him. Until next time!


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