Greetings from season 26. In a world where a 61 year old Peter Beardsley has inspired England to World Cup glory, you might wonder where we go from here. You’re right to be concerned, it’s an uneasy time for us all. But with Euro 2024 qualification underway, you’ll be glad to know the fame has gone to Pedro’s head and the consequences are worrying. I’ll elaborate…

Firstly though, some managerial movement. Chelsea fill their vacancy with this vagrant

Sheff Wed need yet another new manager and after presumably trying to get Bryan Robson again, they opt for Kieron Dyer

Derby appoint a guy called Richard Fashanu. Dick Fashanu. Make your own jokes.

Some things never change, like the Charity Shield. Obviously it did actually change to the Community Shield some years after the release of this game, but I mean it always opens the season

Alex Ferguson scoring against Man Utd is an irony that is not lost on me. Also, Vinny Ironside. great names, great characters.

In this parallel universe, David Beckham doesn’t have it all. In fact, he has very little. Here, he plumbs new depths by being sacked from Chester City

You’d be forgiven for thinking Beckham and Beardsley should maybe swap

I’m still Milan manager, it’s probably the best side I’ve managed and that is saying something. They’re just brutal, and other than the odd game where the opposition keeper has a worldie, we usually win. The Champions League group isn’t too bad either

As you’d expect with a group like that, we’re under a little bit of pressure from Dortmund but having beaten them at the San Siro, I’d imagine we’ll get through either way given how good our goal difference is compared to the German side.

We’re also going along nicely in the Coppa Italia

I think I’d like to win everything this year, and then ideally the Darlington job will be available and I can rebuild them. Fingers crossed.

We’re also top of the league but it’s still very early days

With the World Club Cup and the European Super Cup still to come, we’ve got plenty to keep us busy in the winter months.

Back home though and England’s Euro 2024 qualifying campaign is underway. It’s an easy group but we’re nearly undone in game one…until everybody’s favourite pensioner pops up with a late winner

Beardsley has decided to start picking himself for Man City. It was ok when he was in Division 3 doing that but at Premier League level…why Peter? I blame myself by and large by giving him these ideas by picking him for England. He’s still found the time to net a couple for Man City though

Silly Blackburn. What a stallion of a man though.

England went on to win their other 2 qualifiers but Beardsley did nothing but grab an assist in one of them, so I don’t really care.

I am hoping he can fill his boots against Albania and Liechtenstein, as we’ve already beaten the top 3 we’re on good shape to qualify.

As for the Premier League, Steve Haslam’s Arsenal top the pile with Manchester United, Chelsea and…Tranmere in hot pursuit.

Where’s Beardsley you ask? Look down.

So, picking himself may well be his undoing at Man City. He’s not under pressure yet, but I imagine he will be before long.

Another update has come to an end then, but please join me next time as we hope Beardsley survives the winter (in every possible sense). Bye for now.

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