The Stockport Diaries: Season 2 – Part 7

Prepare to have Prince stuck in your head all day. Matt Porter’s Stockport team sit 3rd in the Premier League as the calendar turns to 1999, but with safety already in the bag are Stockport really contenders for a European place? Catch up with the previous episode here.

Tonight I’m gonna party like its 1999…. We’re sitting pretty in 3rd in the Premier League, a few wobbles along the way but we’re safe already, no pressure, so hopefully we can carry on our momentum.


Great start to the month, but maybe it’ll help persuade him sign a new contract…


First up this month is Walsall in the cup, I’m going to try and take the competition seriously, as why not? Jardel is the only player rested as he has been pretty much playing every minute, and Heidenstrom is fit only for the bench.


As you may notice from above, I can’t even get my 1st minute screenshot done before we win a penalty and their player gets sent off for the foul, but I STILL have forgotten to take Cavaco off penalties and he balloons it. We batter them all half, and their keeper is stretchered off too, but we just can’t find a way to score despite having 13 shots to zero.


A pretty routine win in the end although I have to bring on Jardel in the end to break the deadlock and he scores twice as Dave Lucas is a complete spectator all game, he only touches the ball twice. Back to the league next, if it is as comfortable as that I’ll be very happy. Everton away is our 4th round draw, could be better really but we did knock them out of the league cup last year.

Bye bye Colin, another stalwart gone, but I think he is definitely more at home in the league below.


Blackburn at home next, and Tony Sheridan our record signing finally makes the bench, hopefully a long awaited debut. This is the kind of game we need to take ourselves to the next level, although Blackburn are still big hitters and an Indian chicken company are only known to fans as Baltistan on Whalley Road and nothing else.


We are good! We dominate, and although they have a couple of chances we go in deservedly ahead with a goal from the ever improving and beautifully coiffured Christophe Dugarry.


That was once again really easy! Tim Flowers is superb, the crossbar is even better (seriously, it’s ridiculous), but no dramas, 2-0. The crowd chant my name, and some crude chant about Dugarry’s hair being better than Ginola’s, they are very creative around these parts…



Last of the big spenders… I’m a bit short on centre backs and this bloke has been spotted by a bloke who I bumped into in the pub who went to watch Hereford against Ashton United, yep we really do have an A+ scouting system here.


Wimbledon away, that’s Wimbledon not Milton Keynes, who currently play in front of dog walkers, and that’s how it should be…… Sheridan in for Smith for his full debut is the only change, momentum is firmly with us, and despite Wimbledon trying the trick of turning the hot water off to the visitor showers it is still an improvement on our trickle of muddy water at Edgeley, who’s laughing now?! Ally McCoist and Robbie Earle on the bench a few years before lining up alongside Lynam on The Premiership, cringing at Tim Sherwood’s overly tight shorts instead of the tactics truck of future years.


We are terrible for no apparent reason, we are damn lucky to only be 1-0 down, mainly thanks to Dave Lucas. Smith on for Cavaco at half time to shore up the midfield, and that is the rollocking of the season so far.


Well the second half is an improvement, but a non-event and we lose 1-0. It is a sombre mood on the way back and certainly a wakeup call, but let’s keep an eye on the big picture, we’re still fourth!


Marcus Babbel has obviously decided to have a GAP year in the middle of his career, as he has just rejected Bayern Munich to stay on a free transfer… very bizarre.

Cup game away at Everton next, and only one change with Youngs in for Cavaco.


A dull first half, lit up only by the reflection of the sun off Arnar Gunnlaugsson’s head and a decent goal from Tom Youngs, we’ll take more of that please…


A frustrating end as Gary Speed equalises and despite us peppering Everton’s goal they hold on for a replay I could do without, but overall I can’t complain about a decent performance after that shocker last weekend. If we get through it is Blackburn at home in the 5th round, we are doing it the hard way if we are going to make Wembley.


It’s a controversial one, but I am going to let a good player go. I just feel he has stagnated and I reckon I’ll be able to replace him with better… famous last words.


The second of our now 3 in a row against Everton thanks to the replay, but this one is in the league. Kevin James is fit again so comes in for Matt Bound, otherwise it’s as you were, with Sheridan making a good start to life in Stockport.


2-0 at half time thanks to a Tom Youngs brace, Luis who? At least my penalty record should improve now too…


Extremely comfortable, especially when Everton’s young keeper forgets he is the goalkeeper and overhits a backpass straight into his own goal… Amazing how often this game does that. Despite this howler he still gets man of the match, which says it all really, I can even afford to rest a few players for midweek against… Everton again! Can we play you every week? Well… yes.


So yet another good month, wow we’re doing pretty well. 4th? Yeah that’ll do, with a 5 point cushion to 5th, will this bubble ever burst? I hope not!


Matt will be back next week with more of the same, but in the meantime you can follow him on Twitter @PorterMatt


1 thought on “The Stockport Diaries: Season 2 – Part 7

  1. Pingback: The Stockport Diaries: Season 2 – Part 8 | CM 97/98

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