Off Kilter Season 4 – Episode 3 | @PeterJonesPhoto

“Fit to manage? No, not to live. O Alloa miserable. With an untitled tyrant bloody-sceptered, what shall thou see they wholesome days again?” Not one for optimism, this Macduff fella, that we can turn the season around. Although he has sensed how low the morale is in the dressing room. What’s up with everyone?? I know we’re following the Steve Seagal approved method of anti-therapy but we’re in the Premiership lads! Come on!

A bad run of form has seen us wallowing in the mud and mire. We’re pretty much safe from the drop but nothing higher than 4th can realistically achieved.

I’ve place McDaid, the all-round wizard, into the advancing midfield role and he returns my confidence in his abilities by getting a goal and an assist in the space of two minutes.

I decide to bolster the front line up even more, and the Bunnymen are robbed of their front man. He’s injured at the moment but at least he’s feeling alright, unlike the rest of the miserable lot he’s about to join.

After his 2nd goal, McDaid gives me same look Jay Boothroyd gave Mick McCarthy after his one and only dazzling display in Old Gold. 5 (five) goals?? Worryingly, they’re all coming from midfield.

The Jack-the-Green clad Hibs are put aside by another McDaid goal. He’s really proving a point now…

McCulloch plays his first match and grabs a brace while McDaid is really taking the piss now.

It’s coming to international break time while more matches are being re-arranged through the cup progress of other teams so we’re able to have a nice break. I also decide to bring in another striker to nail on our goalscoring streak. Billy Spence has been moaning and he’s sold on deadline day. You’ve been good but £800k is a pretty good return.

I also sign the Scottish one and only, complete with a leather jacket, unplugged Strat and beauty spot. He’s bursting with joy and song!

Thomo gets one in on his debut and we’ve played the bottom four in the last five games to bring our form back on line.

Our new frontline in clicking nicely and we match our previous meetings result. Amazingly, we’re up to 3rd!

Our optimism is dashed by a very drab 0-0. Spring is in the air, but not in our feet.

Two days later, we’re at Ibrox being slaughtered. Cairns, hands and legs ablur, and we nick a point.

At least the board are happy with that, even though we drop back down to 4th.

Hibs come back for more punishment but our Bunnyman is striking the right chord.

With two matches to go, Dundee are a point above us in 3rd. They quickly turn on the Brown stuff and it looks like we’ll have to settle for 4th. But side 2 has the better tunes and Denham gets a last minute winner!

Just Celtic to play to try on the last day of the season to secure 3rd. Emile, the fasted man over 6 yards (standing to the floor) gives us the nerve-jangles. But that man McDaid pulls one back and we’re left to tune into Ray Stubbs who has control over the vidiprinter these days.

Word comes through that Dundee Utd have have also drawn and amazingly, we finshed 3rd. 3RD!!!!!

Money!!! Actual money too!

I decide to skip the end of year awards bash and have an early night. By dawn and my sleep filled eyes are trying to make out the words on p302 and news hits we’ve won the Fair Play Award which UEFA gives out an extra cup place! If we don’t qualify through 3rd, we’ve got to get our passports renewed!

Och aye for now!

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