CM9798 Retirement Home – Part 45: Late Bloomers

Well good howdy to you all. Here in Retirement country, the old lads are doing themselves proud by sitting 4th. With relegation surely not even on the radar this year we are well placed to build on our high finish of 6th. Still, the cold winter months have been known to cause problems for the elderly and let me remind you, two of my centre backs are over 40.

PL top October S15

I don’t really know what to make of the league these days, there was once a time that Derby away was considered a tough place to go. Then again, there was a time where most of these players were successful and could move. Juan Veron rolls back the years with the winner on the hour.

derby away S15

Winning 2-0 in Florence was the perfect end to an Italian getaway and we have to make sure we finish the job in the return leg. Incredibly, we’re 4-0 up at half time. I don’t know what’s happening here but I like it.

fiorentina home

Our reward? Partizan Belgrade. Clydebank are a pig amongst guinea pigs. I tell the lads Belgrade is lovely in November (it isn’t).

UC draw

Seriously, test our collective piss. Everton get the thrashing of a life time. This is our utopia.

everton home S15

And yet…Keith B-Real wants out. No, Keith.

Moore request

This win at Old Trafford puts us top of the league. TOP OF THE LEAGUE.

man utd away S15

How do you celebrate that? A 0-0 draw at home. I’d rather be in our shoes than theirs but it’s not comfortable.

partizan home S15

Zola sees off Hull. Good lad.

hull home S15

Huddersfield are very annoying, they get their usual victory over us thanks to a Finnish winger. So now you know.

huddersfield away S15

It’s a big game in Belgrade. Do you like holidays? Free holidays? Good. Make sure you get through then and you could visit Clydebank. Ole listens, we’re in the last 8!

partizan away S15

Strasbourg. So we meet again. You may remember I made enemies with this lot in the Mulhouse save. They still annoy me now even on a completely different save. Just the 4 English clubs in the last 8. Running out of holiday destinations.

QF Draw UC

Plymouth have had our number more often than not but we race into a 2 goal lead. Despite a difficult 20 minutes, it’s three more points.

plymouth home S15

We have a Boxing Day to forget as Newcastle twice come from behind to take all three points. I enjoyed our spell at the top but it’s over.

newcastle home S15

Ipswich away in the FA Cup and I’m amused to find they still have Glonek in goal who used to thwart us regularly in the Division 1 “Cascarino” days. He’s unable to cope with my now wonderful team.

ipswich away FA Cup

A ground out win at Villa Park two days later puts us top of the league again. What a time to be alive.

villa away S15

The clash with Sunderland is heading for a bore-draw but former Darts player Terry Jenkins gets sent off and a minute late Solskjaer wins it. You’re witnessing the blurst of times here.

sunderland home S15

Sibi sees off West Ham. He’s 37. Our three centre backs have a combined age of 122. This shouldn’t be possible.

west ham away S15

Burnley away in the cup is another potential banana skin. We have two green shells though in Zola and Veron and those banana skins are banished. That was a Mario Kart gag, possibly a first.

burnley away S15

Arsenal or Leeds away. Sheesh. Not a great draw but we’re amazingly competent.


See? Here we are drawing 0-0 with Liverpool. We’re still top. We couldn’t, could we?

liverpool home S15

We’re behind at Man City but we’ve got something approaching gumption these days and find an equaliser. With Solskjaer banned (he literally gets booked every time he plays, he’s scum really) it’s left to Kevin Gallen to score his first goal of the season. Who else? Werthers Originals all round.

city away S15

Well, well, well. Look who’s top of the table.

PL Top Feb S15

None of this makes any sense. I mean yes, fair enough, Moore the goalkeeper is 26. He’s averaging 7.52. Zola is 28, averaging 7.40. Solskjaer is nearly 39 and has 20 in 29 games. Couto is 42 and averaging 7.51. I just don’t get how it’s happening after years of toil. Maybe it’s karma. Maybe class really is permanent. But what I do know is that next week, we have the chance to become Premier League champions. I’m not crying, you are.

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