Ryan Reynolds’ Wrexham: A Global Force – Part 8: Down to the Wire | @emsonite

Thursday! That means the next weekend is closer than the previous. It also means Deano is here with Ryan Reynolds’ Wrexham and the run-in is getting tasty…

Recap of Ryan’s rules and milestones:

  • Only 1 player, per nationality in the squad
  • All 7 continents & USA represented in starting XI (Chile represents Antarctica)
  • £20m bank balance at end of season 1 – complete
  • £30m bank balance at end of season 2
  • Win Premier League within 4 seasons
  • Bonus – Win FA Cup
  • Bonus – Win League Cup

Welcome back!

We started Division 1 with a lot of draws but our form has picked up. We’re closing the gap on the early pacesetters. And we’re doing alright in the cups as well to be fair.  Imagine what a cup win would do for our global appeal. To be in Europe. The money. The interest that would generate. Can you imagine. We dare to dream at The Theatre of Dreams

Our half time lead is cancelled out by a Ninja Turtle and Giggs, as ever, endears himself to the Welsh public with the last kick of extra time. Nightmare. Perhaps it just wasn’t meant to be. It is 1999 after all; Giggs is due a big moment.

Perhaps we’ll fair better in the FA Cup.

We comfortably dispatch of Premier League Boro to go into the hat for the Sixth Round.

Really? Not again.

In transfer news, our misfiring strikers are moved on. Peter goes to Carrow Road

And the Romario experiment just didn’t work out. A sub-7 average and only 4 goals did not justify his £49k wages. Crystal Palace pay £1.2m for the 33-year old, we’ve made most of our money back at least.

His replacement on the other hand Christopher Wreh hits the ground running. Supported by Luis Boa Morte in the hole, the Arsenal duo are welcome additions.

We’re going to need some of this excellence for our rematch with Man Utd. Can we get a bit more luck this time? Well, no.

Seriously? Last kick of the game. Again. This time it’s Andy Cole. I can’t wait to meet them in the Premier League for another crack. And I tell you something; I will love it if we beat them. Love it.

We’ve got to get there first though. We’re leaving it late. It’s transfer deadline week so we decide to spend some of our hard-earned cash to add some more quality.

Raiding Arsenal again. Massive signing. Vieira of course has a non-promotion release clause. It really is shit or bust now.

Patrick’s first game ends in a draw at Gallenless-QPR. It’s a missed opportunity against 10-men but it keeps us within touching distance.

6 games left with only 6 points separating the top five.

We get a big win in our next game but it’s nip and tuck for the rest of April. Eventually it comes down to the very last game.

Two from four will go up. Sunderland & QPR play each other in their last game which is good news for us. We’re at Vale Park. We need to win, plus we need favours.

Two early strikes settle the nerves & a hat trick from Antarctican Neira ensure we’ve done our job. Sony Walkman’s in the crowd tune into 909-AM desperately trying to find out the results at Upton Park and Stadium of Light. News starts to filter through that QPR might have slipped up.

It’s true!

Daniele Dichio you beauty!

Fans storm the pitch. Ryan Reynolds can’t believe his eyes!

Poor QPR. They were top for so long. It’s a cruel blow for them. If only they didn’t sell Kevin Gallen.

It wasn’t pretty but we made it. We are Premier League! It’s a masterstroke from Ryan Reynolds. Such is the mixed heritage of the playing squad, news of promotion sparks celebrations all around the globe.

From Saudi Arabia…

To Australia…

Even Antarctica..

Wonderful scenes.

The prize money takes us just above the £30m target

Promotions secured with a global squad and lots of cash in the bank.

Back in North Wales, Ryan Reynolds is awarded the Freedom of Wrexham. He had it anyway but now it’s official.

Join us next week where Wrexham FC are a Premier League club for the first time. And we’ve got a War Chest burning a hole in our pockets…

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