AFC United – Part 10: Virtual Insanity | @Matt_C_Wills

Good morning and Merry Monday to you. AFC United have made it to the Premier League – how will they stack up against the elite?

‘Here we are, in a room full of strangers….’

‘Here’ is the Premier League and the ‘strangers’ are those established Premier League teams we’ve yet to play. I’m sure that’s what the Bee Gees had in mind when they sang ‘Nights on Broadway’.

Anyway, we’ve risen through the divisions as quickly as possible and secured a foray into Europe courtesy of our FA Cup win over Blackburn last season and we’ve signed a couple of ex Man Utd/Aston Villa stars in Mark Bosnich and Paul McGrath.

Seeded too…

Stuart’s off to Scotland. He has been with us since those early days in Division 3, but we’re stacked out on the right side of midfield and to be honest, our bank balance isn’t great.

Arsene pays the price for not replacing that aging backline quick enough,

I hammer the remaining few million in the bank on this Swedish winger. It’s a lot of money for us so I hope it pays off. I could have had him on a free a year ago, but lets not dwell on that….

I line up some tough pre-season friendlies, and while there are goals, it’s also stark reminder of where we are at. It’s all a prelude to our first encounter with Fergie and Man Utd in the Charity Shield

Which doesn’t go that well actually. Still, it’s quite an achievement to be here. Wilson, Switzer, Hall, Duncan, Brown, Twiss, Rodlund and Tomlinson have been with us since the start. Not sure if that’s a good or bad thing yet.

I have no idea who Paul Barrett is, or why he’s scoring against us (Dave?), but Bozzy does his best and captain Paul Ince boils over at the end of the game and gets his marching orders. Advantage Fergie.

If I thought that was a taste of things to come, I couldn’t be more wrong. 3 goals in the first 10 minutes of life in the Premiership and we’re laughing. Top of the league already!

We’ll enjoy this moment as it may not last.

Oh, hello…


John O’Kane is in to fill the void we never, er, filled, when Paul Parker retired.

Bryan Robson’s Forest are no match for our young guns, the Premier League holds no fears for them it seems.

First European opponents drawn

Jesper gets his first for us and not even a Bozzy howler can halt our progress

Spurs try though and we leave it late to preserve our unbeaten run. We’re picking up a few injuries on the right lately though.

Teddy, Teddy. I did consider making a bid, but we’ve got plenty of fire power at the moment.

Take that Kasey Keller!

Time for the first European night at Broadhurst and it’s a belter!

Andy Cole can’t get on the scoresheet for Wednesday when we visit, but we come away with the 3 points.

Hughes goes searching for first team football

As does Paul Scholes. Looks like he was finding Barcelona as difficult as Mark Hughes did. Maybe they didn’t like his tackling.

A Hughes-less Chelsea are put to the sword and we are really flying now

Teddy doesn’t stick around long at Norwich and he’s off to do that much loved 90’s role of Player-manager at Blackpool.

Deserved recognition for my lads form here

We get a little help from Jay Kay and Jamiroquai in our return leg and it’s into the 2nd round we go. That injury might hinder Ince’s international recall though.

It’s our biggest test since the Charity Shield but we pass with flying colours against Liverpool. The colour is Brown of course.

Brown’s goalscoring exploits earn him the captains armband for England, but it’s Big Al who gets the only goal of the game.

Cum on feel the Noize, mama we’re all crazee now!

The only thing I know about Servette is Barcelona signed Sonny Anderson from them as a replacement for Ronaldo, which in-game usually works out well. They could do with him now.

Well, a defeat was coming and it shows playing with 10 men really doesn’t suit us.

Or 11 at the moment it seems. Devine intervention knocks us out of the League Cup.

We squeeze past Villa in the final game of this post and it’s a welcome return to form.

Look at that, a 9 point lead, phenomenal. Three more wins and we’ll probably be safe from relegation. Man Utd the only undefeated team, but so many draws

Our Fergie record currently reads:

Pl – 1 W – 0 D – 0 L – 1 F – 2 A – 5 GD -3 Pts – 0

But who cares about that when we’ve made such an amazing start to life in the Premier League. Do we dare to dream? Find out next Monday when we’ll see if we are ‘Blaming it all on the nights at Broadhurst’ or something else song pun related. Thanks for reading!

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