Here’s Deano with the latest from Wrexham. The big bucks are being splashed but is there a wonderful ending?
Recap of Ryan’s rules and milestones:
- Only 1 player, per nationality in the squad
- All 7 continents & USA represented in starting XI (Chile represents Antarctica)
- £20m bank balance at end of season 1 – complete
- £30m bank balance at end of season 2 – complete
- Win Premier League within 4 seasons
- Bonus – Win FA Cup
- Bonus – Win League Cup
Ryan Reynolds has been splashing the cash since we made it into the Premier League. That trend continues as we fly a Dane back to Britain from Juventus.
Vieira is sold to maintain French coverage rules. We lose about 2m on this transfer, but we don’t care. We’re filthy rich.
Actually, I’m lying. We’re not filthy rich anymore. We’ve spunked a good £25m since the summer and we’re losing £1m a month in running costs and wages. But hey ho, fortunes are there to be enjoyed. Isn’t that right Michael Carroll?
But unlike the ‘Lotto Lout’, we’ve got something to show for our money; a brilliant team. We’re in a title race in our maiden PL season.
And in Trezuguet we’ve got the best striker in the league. He’s worth a lot of money.
We survive the Millennium Bug and heading into the Year 2000, our form continues to be consistent.
We beat rivals Newcastle to go top.
And being dumped out of the FA Cup, albeit with a bad performance, can actually be a blessing in disguise. Newcastle, Utd & City all have cups and Europe to contend with. It could work out in our favour.
A captain’s goal from our influential Saudi is a real statement. If they were laughing Ryan Reynolds before they aren’t laughing now.
Well actually, they are laughing now. Throwing away a 2-0 lead at home to Villa. Are we buckling under pressure? Are wheels are coming off? I’ve got no time for glorious failure.
Competition is tense.
But its no time to panic.
We go to Middlesbrough and get something and follow this up with a 1-0 demolishion of Blackburn
The problem is Man Utd keep on winning as well. It’s neck and neck all the way.
Then disaster strikes.
Liverpool are also taking advantage of Brexit with a host of foreign signings, and Batigol gets the winner. Robbie Fowler snorts the line in the celebration and gets sent off. But they hold on. What’s wrong with Liverpool, surely, they don’t want Utd to win the league?
We win at Maine Road, draw at Spurs then get a great 2-4 win at Chelsea. But it’s advantage Utd.
It’s now out of our hands.
We need a favour. By the time Utd play their game in hand we could well be playing for snookers. Fergie rallies his troops ‘Lads, it’s Tottenham.’
Oh, Tottenham Hotspur you wonderful club! Wrexham FC will have your babies. They will be little pink football clubs everywhere! We love you.
We have a superior goal difference so a point will do it.
It all comes down to the last game.
Utd are at Newcastle and as fate would have it, we are at Gallen-less QPR. If they ever wanted revenge, this is their chance.
It’s Half Time. QPR are doing their best and take an early lead. But cometh the hour cometh the man. Fuad Anwar – he turns up in big games. 1-1 after 45 minutes.
Reynolds comes into the dressing room to offer some words of encouragement
“HOLD ON OR I’LL CUT YOUR F*CKING HEADS OFF”
David Trezuguet gives us the lead with a wonder strike! We hold out…
…The final whistle blows and…
Wrexham are Champions!
Newcastle actually beat Man Utd 2-1, so our game with QPR was much to-do about nothing in the end.
We take the title by 5 points.
In the following days, recognition starts pouring in. From Government and Royalty.
Wrexham County Borough Council erect a statue of Ryan Reynolds on Mold Rd next to the Racecourse Ground.
And our Captain Fantastic Fuad Anwar got to meet the Queen
As for me, I’ve got one year left on my contract. We’ll sit down next week and see what’s what. Until then, it’s party time!