Hola! and welcome back to Bilbao for season five. After finishing runners-up in the league last season, Champions League football awaits for the Basque Boys, but will they get a kind qualifying draw?…

After signing the regens of four of Barcelona’s class of ‘92 last week, we start with a couple of departures. Diezma (Pablo Orbaiz’s regen) joins Las Palmas…

And Aitor Larrazabal, who as a DL has fallen victim to our new formation, rejects the donkeys to move to Sevilla for a tidy sum.

I think I jinxed myself when I mentioned a kind qualifying draw earlier…

But we’ll forget about Milan for now, it’s pre-season tour time! Last year’s local tour was a success, so I thought I’d do the same again, so it’s three more Basque opponents…

Aurrera are first to the slaughter, and all four summer signings get ninety minutes. I’m not sure what it is with these non-league sides, but they do seem to love an early substitution…

Beasain get similar treatment, our eight goals include a hat trick for Salinas mk2, one for Goikoetxea in disguise, and two each for Idiakez and star man, Santi Ezquerro.

We step it up even further against Gernika. Playing Idiakez up front to get his confidence going seems to be paying off, and he nets a double hat trick to make it eleven in three…

So after a few comings and goings, this is the squad. I’m hoping a lot of the regens will go out on loan to get some experience, and I do have a couple of players on my shortlist, but none of them are available at the minute, so we’ll bide our time for now…

The competitive action begins with the first leg with Milan. Their defence of Maldini, Ferrara, Costacurta and Desailly has an average age of 33.5, but I never saw this result coming. The away goals are niggling, but I’m very happy…

Our first league game is as it was last season, home to Zaragoza. It’s an easy win, and for anyone wondering, I added Kezman and a few other players to the database ages ago for an experimental save, and forgot all about them!

It’s victory in Vigo, as Arenaza scores a brace for the second game running as we sweep aside Celta. News filters through as Barca have already slipped up and drawn with Sevilla!

The second leg with Milan is a stark contrast to the first. It’s an atrocious first half, as Matthias delivers a Sammer blow. We improve in the second half, and despite a late disallowed goal, we scrape through by the skin of our teeth.

Our reward is £1m, and this group. It’s not the easiest, but it’s a lot better than what we were dealt last time (Barca, Bayern and Dortmund).

Louis and Jupp won’t be happy…

Valencia held us twice last season, but it’s not happening today, as Ezquerro nicely fills in nicely for Guerrero. They have Winston Bogarde in their side, but have clearly missed a trick by not playing him in goal, eh Deano?

But who needs Bogarde when you’ve got Karanka? He dons the gloves against Logrones when our keeper is sent off after I’ve made three subs. He saves the penalty and doesn’t concede for the remainder – what a hero!

Lotina (Goikoetxea), joins Toledo on loan…

And now for Guerrero’s annual injury… He’ll miss games with Atletico, Real Madrid, Oviedo, Betis, Spartak, and Barcelona – for f*ck sake!

Salinas in disguise joins Atletico B on loan…

Speaking of Atletico, well, there isn’t much to speak about actually…

So, to the champions league proper, and a trip to the Bernabeu, for a change… The first half is atrocious, but we get better, and had Rios not fluffed his lines, we’d have left with a point.

We’re on top against Oviedo, but they score with their first shot as usual. It doesn’t faze us though, and De Pedro exorcises his Cup Winners Cup final demons by scoring his first penalty since that fateful night in Portugal.

Lopez Rekarte is unhappy, so he’s off to Albacete on loan…

Betis are next. Finidi has now left, so only Jarni remains from their original ‘fab five’. Arenaza’s strike is the difference, and we keep Kennet quiet this time. Barca draw again!

Why don’t the fringe players ever get injured?

Back to the champions league, and if any game is a must-win, it’s this one. It takes a while, but once we score, the floodgates open. Real and Liverpool draw to put us second in the group.

And we end the week with a big one, Barcelona. Laslandes gets us off to a dream start, and makes it two on half an hour. Barca step it up a gear in the second half, but only manage one goal, and we beat them for the first time in two years – get the f*ck in!

We can’t seem to stay away from the donkeys, but we’ll see if the cup bug comes out to play again in the third round…

So it’s a strong start once again, and we’re already four points better off than we were at this stage last season. We’re five points clear of Barcelona, which I’m over the moon with, but it seems Real Madrid want to join the party this season…

So that’s it for this week, join me next week for the remainder of our champions league group games, both legs with the donkeys, and some tasty league games including Deportivo, Real Madrid and Sevilla, so plenty to look forward to… Adios!