CD Dons – Episode 17: Go West | @Emsonite

The blogs are falling by the wayside as they wrap up in time for Christmas. You won’t catch Deano doing that, his sack of blogs continues to heave and so we head back to Costa Del Dons for more thuggery this morning…

Recap of Rules & Objectives

  • Vinny Jones captain.
  • Only players with Aggression 18+ allowed
  • Hurt the opposition; fan prizes for sending offs, opposition injuries and total disciplinary points.
  • Thug-o-Meter; every CD Dons game is won, drawn or lost on injuries and cards (5 for a red, 3 for an injury, 1 for a yellow). +3 pts for a win, -1 for a draw, -3 for a loss. Double in Europe. At the end of the season, I need to be in positive points, or I’ll get the sack.
  • Beat last season’s tally of +45

Last week we were skrimping and saving for Alan Shearer. The bid is in. While we are waiting for him to make up his mind, we have date with the drunken environmentalists. They ditch their new-age tree hugging image to Thug us right off with a red card.

Out-Thugged by some hippies. Not a great start but we bounce back with a draw against Las Palmas and a 4-1 win on yellows vs Sevilla.

Alan Shearer finally agrees to discuss terms.

We can match his wages, but will it be enough. We have an anxious wait while Alan gets a McDonalds to ponder his future. Then up pops the screen we all love to see.

Big Al through the door. And we pair him with Big Dunc straight away against Gijon in L2 of our QF in the Kings Cup. Shearer gets a debut goal

However, we lose 3-0 on yellows. Someone better tell Shearer that we didn’t necessarily bring him here to score goals.

We need someone to show him the way. We’re up against the ever adventurer Bilbao Baggins and the trusty Moldovan Maniac shows Al how we do things at CD Dons.

A great red card as we bounce back on the Thug-o-Meter. And that red earns some knock off gear for one lucky fan.

Everyone is having fun. There is a feel-good factor in the air. Who are setting up for a gig outside the stadium?

The Pet Shop Boys have touched down in the Costa Del Sol to entertain the ex-pats and holiday makers.

Everybody now….

Together – We will go our way

Together – We will leave someday

Together – Your hand in my hands

Together – We will make our plans


Great signing. High fives all round.

All that for a West pun. No wonder I never keep to the word limit, sorry Dave.

Go West makes his debut and makes a solid start with a yellow card against Real Madrid.

Alas, it’s not a dream debut as we draw 2-2 on yellow.

Meanwhile, the Moldovan Maniac is off on a club funded jolly for 3 weeks. Lucky bugger. He’s off to walk the Earth with some remote tribes. Each to their own.

Next up we have Barcelona, and we lose again as Pep gets a red, dirty bastard.

These new signings aren’t exactly working out and the board let us know we are now in a precarious financial position.

We beat Valencia in our next match and Couto goes on his third holiday of the year.

With Fernando out we try Go West in our Travelling Keeper position against the Salamanca’s

10/10! Looks like Couto has some competition. Although the Salamanca’s give us a Thug thumping. I told you in an earlier episode, the Salamanca’s are not to be fucked with.

Another loss against Celta Vigo and we wrap up this episode against Deportivo La Coruna. Shearer get his first yellow for the club and Go West gets his first goal.

It’s a much-needed win in what has been a disappointing session on the card front. We’ve lost 5 points this week taking us down to +33 on the Thug-o-Meter.

In La Liga we are neck & neck in Barcelona but I’m not worried so much about that table.

We’ve got some ass kicking to do if we are going to reach our +45 target for the season. It’s double points in Europe which may well determine our season. Our next game is the CL QF vs Barcelona, but you’ll have to tune in next week to see how we get on. It’s getting tense isn’t it. Strewth.

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