Out of the Box Barnsley – Part 20: What’s French for Va Va Voom?

Good hello to you. Barnsley are trying to stick themselves back together after the disappointment of losing the Champions League final and they’ve made a good start to the new season. As ever though we aren’t running away with the league but we’ve got Ronaldo, so if he can’t sort us out then nobody can. Well maybe Bakayoko will.

We also have Digby, the Ian Wright regen, who I’m fairly confident is starting to motor towards his full potential. It’s the perfect warmup for a clash with Liverpool.

Oyvind Leonhardsen is still at Liverpool. He’s scoring too, as unfortunately despite Tricky Trev’s best efforts we fall to defeat. Sakes.

I don’t think we deserved that but when has that ever mattered?

We’re back on track with an easy win in Romania.

Ronaldo is injured but such is our strength in depth the Ian Rush junior steps in and we’re 3-0 up inside 42 minutes.

The big man is back to help us score three before half time for the second game in a row. Tottenham are up the Kreek in this one.

Goodnight, sweet Chile prince.

The thrashing of Panathinaikos only comes after we trail at half time but six second half goals and two injuries give us a big win but the squad is looking a bit worn.

Just a smattering of injuries to key players.

We’re through though, a ludicrous performance from 5 games.

It’s looking like a nice day out at Derby but as ever it goes wrong and we have to settle for a point. It would be good to stop that sort of thing happening.

We’re barely troubled away at West Ham in the Pointless Cup but we don’t take our chances and ultimately Jamie Cureton makes us pay, so it’s Extra Time. On comes Ronaldo, who scores and that’s that.

As if to prove a point a full strength side scores 5 against the same opposition. Signori might be 103 but his output is great.

Another rotated side is getting battered in Moscow and this time Ronaldo’s appearance from the bench can only half the deficit.

Ah well, it doesn’t matter of course.

Oh really? It’s a rematch of the final. We’ve got revenge on our minds, can we beat them over two legs? Will they like Oakwell?

We’ll worry about that in March. We do at least draw at Old Trafford.

Wow, a fixture we never win sees Ronaldo put in possibly his best ever performance for us with a lethal hat-trick. Take that, Leeds.

A far more mundane win at Altrincham in the cup does not deserve your time.

The deadly duo are back at it in the Pointless Cup. Bullock’s needless red is the only negative.

Wimbledon and their banter squad over two legs should see us in the final.

We’re made to work hard by bottom club Derby but that man Ronny brings his shovel and digs us out of yet another hole.

Seeing as Barrera can’t play and Signori is collecting his pension why wouldn’t I buy Thierry Henry?

It seems to entice Bury to buy Barrera anyway. Sometimes it pays not to just release them.

Bakayoko steps up this time to see off Villa.

A safe passage to round 4 of the FA Cup but the unnecessary red card of the day goes to Rio Ferdinand. Silly man.

Liverpool away in Round 5 is a stinker.

Time to move the Nev on. Bodin & Digby have outperformed him so I’m afraid he’s surplus to requirements.

Oxford being a Prem club is still a bit strange but our new trait seems to be getting 3 goals before half time. We’ve had worse habits.

On top of the league looking down on the Scousers and the only explanation I can find…

Is the goals that we’ve found since Ronaldo’s been around…

Your goals have put us on top of the league…

Not my words, the word of the Carpenters. So we’re still in everything but we’ve got our work cut out.

Pointless Cup: Wimbledon over 2 legs, 2nd or 3rd in the league in the final

FA Cup: Liverpool (2nd) away

Champions League: Barcelona (holders)

League: Ours to lose.

It’ll be hard to win them all but we’ll give it a shot. Henry hasn’t even got started yet. See you next week for more!

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