Band of Brothers P04: Jostein’s House | @KingOfTheRooks

Welcome back to our merry band of brethren! We’ve been foiled and out manoeuvred in the pointless cup, but we’ve still got big dreams of a treble and European success. If you missed it, you can catch up here.

We start off the run in with everyone’s favourite, a trip to Everton.

It’s great except for that Brian picks up a knock, ruling himself and Michael out for…

…a month! Somehow it matters not as Roger and Oscar help us to a 7-0 aggregate win over Real Madrid. Can I blow smoke up my own arse? Yes. That was a magnificent result.

We’ll have to take our brotherly allies into the heart of Germany against the reigning champions if we want to win in Europe.

This is annoying, as it rules out our ‘keeper, Frank De Boer.

Alkorta picks up a ban too, ruling another two brothers out of the semi-final. No Laudrup, no Alkorta, no De Boer…no cry? We’ll see. Our fearless brothers carry on relentlessly chasing United down.

All looks a bit lost in the Champions League as we look set to lose 3-1, but grab a late consolation that makes the home leg feel a lot better.

Meanwhile, the FA Cup semi-final is a ceasefire.

Big Jostein is now out for a week too. We still manage to take care of the replay.

Man United give up some points and the initiative is over to us in the league.

And we take it.

Oh yeah.

The Laudrups are back in the nick of time! We blow the German’s away. We’re into the Champions League final, it will be a rather scary battle with Juventus.

Aaaaaand it will be Laudrup-less.

Back in the league, it’s all coming up Flo.

So satisfying:

A 2-0 victory against the Dons follows. Phil Neville’s (and therefore Gary’s) season is over thanks to injury. Never mind, Frank De Boer is better. Blackburn go the distance, but then two poor results on the bounce:

Thanks to that, it will go down to the wire.

We’ve got 20th Crystal Palace who need a win to have a chance of staying up.

It’s alright on the night, or in the case on the afternoon, as we brush them aside. Our firepower is too much.

Excellent. United lost anyway.

FA Cup final day is a great day too. A great day. 1997-98 is turning out very Fergie.

Jostein Flo vs. Angelo Peruzzi. Alessandro Del Piero vs. Jarle Flo. The big battles people pay to see.

Big Frank De Boer an unpassable wall. I think we can put Phil Neville in the bin, Frank is my new hero. The three Flo’s have been an absolute revelation. At no point before starting did I think they would become the backbone of this side…at all.

Average ratings anyone?

Goals and assists:

If Jostein had played more games, there’s no doubt he’d have been top scorer.

We win the awards that matter, with our two ‘keepers getting the player of the year. And with that, our mission is complete. We might have dropped the training exercise (League Cup) but the important victories were made. I hope you’ve enjoyed this complete bag of s****, and now have a fondness for buying Jostein Flo. We’ve probably missed some siblings off this list, but feel free to give it a go yourself!

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