Hallo! It’s a new season in Germany, and Nick’s RB Leipzig have dusted themselves off and are ready to go again. They’ve managed third and fourth place finishes so far, can they do better this season?…

Non-league Kickers Offenbach are our first cup opponents this year…

And it’s b*stardly Bochum in the Liga Cup…

I’ve come to love a good regen in this save, and I waste little time in adding three more German Euro ‘96 heroes to my ranks, starting with Jurgen Kohler…

Swiftly followed by the fifteenth best player on the game, Thomas Helmer…

And finally, Thomas Haßler…

So with those three arrivals, and the departures of Odé and Fahrenhorst, this is the squad to start season six…

To my surprise, Giggsy has taken a pay cut and dropped from £66k to £50k, so the highest earner is now Shearer on £63k, making our salary cap £8,379k per week.

The Thai-phoon had already signed a new deal under the old salary cap of £8,778k near the end of last season, so that can’t be helped, but the rest are comfortably inside the new cap…

It’s Liga Cup action against old chums Bochum to kick us off. Gravesen heads us in front, and we have two goals disallowed on the hour. But the two that counted are enough, and we advance to play Dortmund.

The Westfalen has been a happy hunting ground for us over the last season or two, but not today sadly. We’ve plenty of chances, but are toothless rather than ruthless, and go out.

Klinsmann Jr joins Fortuna Köln on loan…

Carrete joins Bilbao on loan, a I know the Basque Boys will look after him…

The opening day brings a visit from Freiburg. They make the better start, but it’s us who lead at half time. Their keeper is on fire, but the Iceman finally doubles our lead and despite a late scare, it’s a winning start.

Next out the door (temporarily) is Haßler Jr…

It’s a toss-up between Schalke and Bochum as to who I hate more. The warning signs are there from the start, and we’re 2-0 down at the break. I shuffle things around hoping that things improve in the second half, they don’t.

Against Hamburg, Gravesen is at DM, and Duncan partners Lieftink, with Foda benched. We boss the first half with nothing to show for it, but stamp our authority in the second, and beat them for the first time in five attempts.

Cup time. Kickers Offenbach are all greys, but I’ve been bitten before, so I only change my keeper and strikers. It’s a five-star first half, and Penksa adds a sixth before Clausen completes his hat trick to make it seven.

Hertha Berlin await…

Welcome Japhet N’Doram Mk II! He’s only on loan though. I tried for a permanent deal but he wanted £9k a week, so I’ll try and negotiate him down…

Just as one regen arrives, another departs, albeit only to the treatment room…

We work hard for a half time lead at Cologne, and their keeper is annoying the shit out of me. They deservedly score in the second half but the score line doesn’t tell the whole story.

We draw AGF in the UEFA Cup…

Kohler II joins fortuna Köln on loan…

It’s all-square at half time in Stuttgart, but we’ve had three times as many shots as them and should be ahead. We do deservedly take the lead just past the hour though, and the Iceman makes sure before a late consolation.

Leónidas bags a brace to give us a half time lead against Bayern, who have gone close. They start the second half well and get better as the minutes tick by, but we defend well and keep them at bay to go level with them.

My latest interested foreign based search unearths big bad Bjørn’s regen, yes yes yes!

Bakayoko is also interested at just £1.1m, but he’s 25 years old and a year too old. Noooooooooooo!!!

It’s a routine enough win at Nürnberg, Penksa gives us an early lead, and the Thai-phoon makes sure. Bjørn Jr gets his debut for the last ten minutes.

Next up, Europe. Leónidas gets a second brace in three games, and Ziegner balloons a penalty in between. The Brazilian turns his double into a treble in the second half, and Santi comes off the bench to give us a 4-0 aggregate lead.

Gabbiadini and Jesse are the latest loan rangers…

It’s a good start in the cup against Berlin, with Wedau adding to a Thai-phoon double. We’re never really under pressure, and Lieftink gets number four as we cruise. Chemnitzer next.

There’s silly money now being offered for Lieftink, but I’ve got nothing to spend it on…

Düsseldorf frustrate us as we lose Duncan to injury. Ziegner misses yet another penalty but the Thai-phoon salvages a point and of course Bayern draw and Dortmund lose to rub it in.

A good home win against Werder caps a great September. The Iceman has struggled lately, and his goal on the hour is his first in six games, but it’s a team game and all that…

No more than I deserve after four wins and a draw, but I can’t remember the last one I won.

I make three changes for the second leg with AGF, as Carrete, Garba, and Clausen come in for Foda, Leónidas, and Sritong-In. Clausen puts us on course for victory, but the hosts get a deserved late equaliser.

More Scandinavian opposition await in the next round…

So all of that leaves us second. We’ve conceded a couple more than Bayern, but are level with them on points, so definitely a decent start.

Do come back next week for more of the same. We’ll continue our European adventure, face some big league games, and there may even be some more arrivals and departures. Tschüss!