Hello and welcome back to “your new favourite team is Leeds United”! If you missed the start of this ridiculous save, you can catch up here. We made a repeat start to the season of 1991/92 with a 10-game unbeaten run:

Although the visible difference between having Lukic or Schmeichel is VERY obvious. We are doing so well; Northern Ireland call up a 41-year-old.

The League Cup provides pain of a different kind as Sellars and Kelly are put out to pasture and Fairclough picks up a ban.

It’ll be Ipswich in the next round, that could be tough against the ever-effective Richard Wright. While we lose Sellars for a long while:

Strach is back:

All this s**** would come ahead of the big game.

Thankfully Paul Scholes is out injured which means the game goes by without too much trouble Schmeichel getting the better of Chapman and Cantona.

We take it out on Southampton, but the old man just can’t handle too many minutes.

It matters not as West Ham are destroyed but Lee Chapman couldn’t bring himself to score against his old team.

They say pride comes before a fall, and what a fall.

“There was nothing Lukic could do” will be the story of my season. He has the agility of an even older Strachan but the lack of dignity to feign an injury to get out of it. What a piece of s*** he is to have to play with. Things can only get…oh.

Speed can’t do it all this time. We bow out at the early stages. As ever in this game, we’ve been woeful over the last two games, then somehow manage to wallop Liverpool.

When Wetherall scores, he likes to score at both ends just to be sure. The daft c***. Speaking of daft c****.

Howay man Eric. Stay out of trouble! The Whelan’s don’t come off however as we luckily face squalid lower table opposition. Spoiled by a silly 85^th minute needless red for Batty.

We achieve a Shutt out. Although one we’re less bothered about.

Arsenal attempt to buy Kelly, Batty and Cantona…do they think we are poor and stupid? Get lost. Tony Dorigo gets injured, so Mike Whitlow comes in. A seamless transition:

Lee Chapman knocks two out, finally getting over his fear. And as if by magic, he is well and truly over it.

The national side come calling. I can’t say I’d select them if it was me!

We close this update with a home game against Newcastle. Eventful is an understatement. Given passes us the advantage before Andersson sticks a nut on Wetherall damaging his bonce. 8 minutes later he elbows Fairclough breaking his ribs. That means of our 4 centre backs, 3 are now out injured. Dirty, dirty Newcastle.

On the plus side we’re 3-points and 4 goals to the good! The table is mesmerising for all the wrong reasons:

How the f*** have Man Utd only conceded 3 goals in half a season? Cheating. This game is cheating us!!! They’re playing Gary Neville at centre back ffs!!! A goal difference +11 better than us means we’ve got some hard work to overhaul them. Hopefully competing on 4 fronts means they’ll suffer a late season collapse. That aside, we’re doing wonderful stuff. Whelan, Cantona and Chapman all have 10+ goals which is fantastic given Whelan is mostly playing from the bench. Just look at the old boy go:

Off the ball, shooting and heading are an absolute god send for direct tactics. Well, if the joy of watching these old boys make mincemeat of the Premier League 5 years on is keeping you on edge, do join us again next week for more of the same old crap!