The Deano treat is here for another week. Let’s see what Dean Smith is up to now…

Dean Smith isn’t the only Smith from Japan. Meet this egg-chaser called Greg.

Greg Smith represented Japan in Rugby Union back in 1999. And as you can see, he’s about as Japanese as the Nuggets, Beans & Chips you feed your kids mates when they come over after school.

But unlike Greg, Dean hasn’t represented Japan. Not yet anyway. Only Super Mario & Koopa are in the squad so far with Luigi out injured.

Smithy will need to impress Johan Cruyff to break into the National team.

Doing so will surely help his cause at winning back his British passport, especially if they have a good run in the World Cup.

Back on the domestic front. Now I’m not going bore you with any league action, we’re going to demolish teams left, right and centre. Any cm97/98 manager with the intelligence of a masturbating zoo monkey could win Division 3 with The Orient. Especially with Super Mario All Stars added to the ranks. Promotion is a given & won’t save Dean Smith.

It’s the 3 cup competitions that are important. Smithy needs trophies.

The Windscreen Shield is a realistic target but we’re going to play our hearts out in the League and FAC Cup too. You never know.

We have a couple of world class players in Stanic, Di Biagio and Heidenstrom. But if we are going to win trophies in the long term, we need to develop the current squad and unearth some Asian gems that can compete at a higher level.

When it comes to signing Asian players, I’m not necessarily going to hang on to them. I’m going to put most of them in the shop window and move them on. If they get decent elsewhere, we can always buy them back later on.

There’s not really a science to this. I’ve got no idea who is good or who ain’t. I’m just going for players with good stats in useful positions.

Got some bids in here:

And here:

League Cup Round 1 – Scarborough

We make a wockery of the Scarborough in defence in the first leg and we’re all but into the next round. Thailand’s Teabtong gets on the scoresheet. 

We win the second leg by the same score line as we blood some more players of the Asian Persuasion.

League Cup Round 2  – Sunderland

My Thai goalkeeper must have left his gloves in Bangkok, useless twat. The Mackems take the first leg

It’s looking like a lost cause but in the 2^nd Leg Kevin Ball gets sent off and 10-man Sunderland crumble.

5-0. Didn’t see that coming. And they’re crying again like they did on Netflix.

And we’re still in the cup!

Kudos to Masahario Fukuda, signed from Urawa Reds for £140k. Looks a great player. If only he was a little bit younger

Theory: I’m going to up the wages of some of my players. It’s a theory that worked with Adrian Littlejohn; pay them good money then they increase in value and reputation – then ultimately play better.

Smithy goes from 2 to 4k per week to start with.

Doubling up until he’s on 20k for now.

Done the same with Mark Warren and Griffo.

It’s not my money, sod it.

Windscreen Shield – Group Stage. This is a cup we should win. Starting with Wycombe

I have no idea how we lost this game.

League Cup Round 3 – West Ham

Confident going into this at home. Will be a test of where we are though. It’s a tight game but Griffo sends us through after extra time to give us a Premier League scalp.

Back to the windscreen groups and we demolish Walsall right the wrongs of Wycombe. Fukuda bagging another brace. And we’re into the knock outs.

FA Cup – First Round – Preston. Easy

The World Cup draw has been made. Dean Smith still can’t break into the squad though.

Windscreen Shield Round 2 – Northampton

Piss easy. Into Round 3. Even Smithy scores two.

Danny De Vito’s short man syndrome got the better of him towards the end.

FA Cup Second Round – Watford

The front two do the business.

League Cup 4^th Round – Bolton

Again, pretty confident. Fukuda is brilliant. And his hat trick is just enough to progress.

Into the Quarter Final

The draw could have been a lot worse. Dare I say it, a trophy this season is not impossible.

Continuing the revolving door, I’ve been moving some players on from the transfer list and Tony Richards to Atalanta is the most random one so far.

That would never have happened if he wasn’t Japanese. See it’s not all bad!

Deano disagrees of course. Let’s close this episode by having a look the Smith-o-Meter. This is where Deano judges the session in terms of progress being made towards his rescue

Smith-o-Meter

Yes. As you can see, he’s happy enough with the first session. Still in 3 cups. But behind the eyes, there’s a troubled soul. He knows some dauting tasks lie ahead.

Join us next week to see if we can build on a decent start…