Great Heathen Army – part 18: Dudley at the Double | @Goatnmcl

Góðan dag my fellow heathen supporters. Hopefully today is the day we make great strides into conquering England by continuing our league quest and making our bow into this years’ FA cup. We’re on the cusp of heading into the year 870 so lets see what battles we have….

Last time out we had a healthy 15 point lead at the top (i forgot to add this photo for some reason) suffering our only defeat against now second placed Monkwearmouth.

We start this week at home to the ridiculously talented Monkceaster, who start the brighter of the 2 teams. We create the odd chance ourselves but enter the break all square at 0-0. Eidur Gudjohnsen (a £7 mil signing from PSV in the close season) puts Newcastle in front in the 54th minute. We finally start to get a foothold in the game and deserve our equaliser when TSL finishes in the 76th minute. The visitors then have a string of corners in the 85th-87th minute which we manage to somehow finally clear and force a corner of our own. Bergdolmo rises above everyone to head in the winner in the 88th min and give us all 3 points.

FA Cup time as we head into Mercia to take on our perennial cup opposition Estone. Despite us starting stronger it’s Villa who go in front when Dudley (I cant help but pronounce this Dudlaaay in my head) strikes in the 35th minute. We’re absolute garbage and only muster 1 shot on target in the whole game. In fairness we have Jung to thank for keeping us in the game as the home side have chance after chance. So that’s the end of our domestic cup campaigns, out at the first time of asking in the FA cup here and at the 2nd time of asking in the League cup last time.

I wish I’d have swapped my team around now as we host Lazio in the first leg of the Euro Super Cup Final. The boys are tired but are once again told to suck it up and get on with the job at hand. In all fairness we (Thors) Hammer them from start to finish barring a little 5-10 minute spell in the first half. George opens the scoring in the 21st minute and I honestly cant tell you how we didn’t add to it. 5 shots on target from 16 may have something to do with it. Still it’s a lead which we’ll take into the second leg.

We cross the Pennines to take on bottom club Burgh in the league. I change up our attackers to give them a rest and to hopefully find their scoring boots. Bye Andersen hasn’t found the back of the net yet so hopefully a week on the bench will spur him on. It’s not helping as we reach half time at 0-0 and I’m not happy. Ivar gets ripped off for CBA and it immediately pays dividends as he puts it on a plate for Leonhardsen to score in the 51st minute. He doubles it in the 63rd and it’s a game we’ve thankfully won but made real hard work of.

With one eye on Tuesday nights’ second leg of the Super cup I decide to keep the same team for the visit of second placed Straetforda. Once again we create plenty of chances but just can’t seem to find the back of the net. Hartson has no such trouble though, smashing in a free kick that went in like a rocket in the 35th minute and double the lead just after half time. We don’t make our dominance count and only 3 on target from 14 shots just wont cut it!

Oh, I’ve dropped a right bollock! The second leg isn’t until the following Tuesday and we’ve no game in between so I’d needn’t have rested our forwards (not that they’re scoring either). Then to rub salt in the wound, Half Dan’s season is over as he fractures his skull in training, TSL obviously making sure he doesn’t take his place for the remaining fixtures!

The second leg finally does come around and the squad are fully rested! It’s a tense start with chances for both sides. Brandal has gilt edged chances either side of half time, then lo and behold, Andersson pops up and scores in the 69th minute to level the tie on aggregate. Thankfully we manage to find a way past ‘grey’d keeper’ Paganin 5 mins later, when George puts us level on the night and makes it 2-1 (with an away goal).

It’s official – we’re now cocks of Europe and it’s more silverware for our coffers.

No easy games really at this level and despite being in 6th place, Mameceaster Utd are always a tough opposition. Today is no different as Scholes bangs in a hat-trick and Sinclair bags another. We did manage to bring it back to 3-2 before Scholes completed his treble. George gets our 3rd in the 89th but it’s too little too late.

Brycg Stowe Rovers arrive languishing in 19th position. It’s our 10th league meeting with them in this save and once our bogey team, we have managed to get the better of them in recent times. Hopefully we can use this to get ourselves back on track after 2 straight league defeats. Once again we’re miles the better side but can’t find the back of the net. Even when Bristol are reduced to 10 men when Allison receives his marching orders, Prunea puts in another Worldy performance and keeps his clean sheet.

We stay at home for the visit of Eofor. We race into a 3 goal lead in the first half thanks to goals from TSL, George and Liisberg. George adds to his tally in the 76th minute to give us a commanding lead. Unfortunately we cant hold out for the clean sheet as Grant gets a consolation goal for Everton in the 89th minute.

What’s worrying is Bye Andersen couldn’t score in a whorehouse with a bag of silver coins in his back pocket at the minute. He hasn’t scored since the World Club Cup Final – which was 14 games ago.

Hopefully he can put that right in our away trip against Uuluuich. George gives us the lead in the 13th min and Brandal doubles it in the 27th. It’s not to be for CBA in this game either as Heiselberg gets sent off for his second yellow and I change up the formation to shore us up at the back. To make matters worse for Arsenal, Bergkamp goes off injured in the 88th min.

Second placed Beorma’s Ham batter Burgh 7-1. Although Bury didn’t do themselves any favours going down to 8 men by the 23rd minute – 2 of which resulted in penalties.

We’re away in Monaco for the 1st leg in our Champs League Quarter Final. Liisberg and Brandal get us off to a dream start by scoring in the 11th & 12th minutes. Bjorkan takes the shine off a little when he gets one back in the 28th. Monier then brings down George in the box, the ref waves play on but the linesman’s flagging…. Penalty to Jorvik. CBA to step up….GOAL!!!! He breaks his duck at last. Unfortunately we cant make our numerical advantage count but once again we have 3 away goals to take into our home tie.

Loidis come to pay tribute to their rightful overlords. A totally knackered Brandal scores in the 67th min before being immediately subbed off for a defender. It works as we keep a clean sheet and take all 3 points. Leed’s don’t even manage a shot on target. Brandal’s contract is up at the end of this season, his value has plummeted from £9 mil to £1.8 mil but the cheeky bastard wants £65k a week! On recent form he probably deserves it but I’m going to wait till he becomes a free agent and hopefully demands less.

We travel into Mercia to take on our FA cup conquerors Estone hoping to exact revenge. It’s not to be as Dudley once again opens the scoring. Swift scores quickly after half time to make it 2-0 to the Villa. Molnar gets a consolatory goal in the 89th min in what is his first since coming back from injury.

Back over the Pennines for our tie with Blacheborne. McLaren makes the game that little bit tougher for Blackburn when he gets a straight red for bringing down Molnar when through on goal. Molnar blazes over the resulting free kick and that’s as good as it got. Once again our shooting boots are missing and we draw another blank. It also means we’ve only taken 2 points from a possible 9 against the 19th placed team in this weeks’ save!

I’m in total shock when Monaco sail up the Ouse for the 2nd leg. Bye Andersen scores from open play in the 9th minute!! Monier for the second game running gives away a penalty and gets sent off (although I’m sure he should be suspended after the 1st leg). CBA scores this too although the celebrations are cut a little short when Richert scores straight from kick off. George bags in the 84th to maintain our 2 goal lead on the night, although it’s halved 2 mins later when Bjorkan scores. Still, 3-2 winners on the night and 6-3 winners on aggregate. On to the semi’s!

…..where we arguably draw the toughest opponent. Although we beat them last year and if we do the same again this time, I’d fancy us as favourites in the final.

I’ll leave it here for this week. We’re still top although our lead has been slightly shortened to 14 points – which could be down to 10 should Estone win their games in hand.

Join us next week to see if we can hold onto top spot and be crowned as champions and to see if we can defend our existing champions league title.

Until then, Morna!

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